Naruko the Flat Chested
by Tachibana Azrael Chikoku
Summary: Fem Naruto fic. Another rewrite of Naruto only Naruto is Naruko, Kyuubi loves to insult her, and Naruko hates being called flat chested. Rated M for language, especially in a later chapter.
1. Uzumaki Naruko

**A/N: The second Naruto fic. Enjoy!**

**A/A/N: Rewrote this as of 2008/04/26**

Disclaimer: I own Portrait of Ruin, not Naruto.

Legend

"…normal…"

"…_thoughts…"_

"…**Kyuubi, Inner Voices talks/Jutsu**…"

"…_**Kyuubi thinks**__…"_

* * *

**Chapter 01: Uzumaki Naruko**

"_Konoha, it looks the same as ever and yet I bet it still contains the same old bastards." _thought a blonde-haired girl sitting on top of the face of the late Yondaime Hokage. She's 12, have dark blue eyes, and aforementioned blonde middle-length hair tied with a blue ribbon. Currently she's wearing a blue shirt with matching blue pants with a white skirt, and standard sandals. Other stuff includes a kodachi on her right and a sitar strapped to her back, made from a unique type of wood that won't break from bashing heads. _"No thanks to you Furball."_

"**Not my fault the guy you sitting on happens to die while sealing me in your gut." **said the furball known as the Kyuubi no Kitsune behind metal bars. Besides being male he's wearing a black leisure suit with small round glasses and sandals. He currently has short black hair, his nine tails sticking out, and has crimson eyes with a slight slit.

"_Yeah you're right. But it's still your fault that I went four years without ramen!"_

"**Be glad you did you flat-chested midget."**

"_Stop calling me that!"_

"**No, it's my only form of entertainment. Though it was a good idea to go on that training journey."**

"_Yeah, though Teach was murder. I was glad I didn't become one of the Pigeon's fan girls."_

"**Be glad you didn't no-chest."**

"_Damn Fox-teme."_

"**Hehehe."**

--

At the Hokage Tower…

"Damn paperwork never ceases to disappear. Damn Minato-kun for leaving me half of his paperwork that never ceases to disappear. Damn fox for killing Minato-kun for leaving me half of his paperwork that never ceases to disappears. Damn…Steve Allen!" yelled Sarutobi.

"What does Steve Allen have to do with this?" said Naruko on the window ledge.

"Nothing, I just hate him. And who are you?"

Naruko let out a foxy grin and perform the good ol' **Oiroke no Jutsu**. "Remember little ol' me?" said Naruko in a seductive voice. And soon the whole floor is covered in blood.

"That was fun."

"**No kidding. Nice use of replacing your flat body with two hills."**

"_I swear to Kami-sama that I'll kill you someday."_

A moment later…

"I see that you're the same brat as ever Naruko." said Sarutobi as he wiped his nose.

"Damn right old man." said Naruko.

"I take it that you want to be enlisted as a Konoha Genin right."

"Yup."

"Well, we just finish the examinations a week ago but for you we can make an exception."

"Thanks old man! So what I gotta do?"

"Since you already shown that stupid technique you pass **Henge** and I can tell you replaced my platinum card with an expired library card you pass **Kawarimi**."

"Damn." Naruko said as she handed back the 'platinum card'.

"Now let's see the **Bunshin**."

"I'll do one better. **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**." Naruko performed the **Shadow Clone Technique **and formed multiple clones. Then they simultaneously said, "How was it?"

Sarutobi smiled as he handed her a hitai-ate. "Congratulations, you passed Naruko."

"Yatta, thanks old man!" Naruko said as she disappeared.

"Kid needs work on her manners. Ah well, at least she didn't invent a stupid harem technique or something." Sarutobi sighed as he went back to the endless paperwork.

--

At the apartments on the east side of the village…

"My god, when was the last time I cleaned up?" said Naruko. Her apartment was covered with ramen cups, ramen bowls, empty milk cartons, spider webs, dust, and roaches. Surprisingly there were no rats infesting the place.

"**You're asking me? You never clean up and for a human you're a slob."**

"_Shut up. Fine, I might as well clean up._** Futon: Tatsumaki no Jutsu**." Naruko created a miniaturized tornado to clean up the mess on the floor. She then set the trash tornado outside and sent the trash flying elsewhere.

"**Very nice, littering in public. Just be glad the police didn't see you."**

"_Yeah yeah. If you don't mind I gotta go shopping."_

"**Oh please don't go crazy over shopping like regular girls." **pleaded Kyuubi.

"_Since when was I a regular girl?"_

It's true that Naruko is not a regular girl…however…

"MORE ICHIRAKU-SAN! SPICY SHRIMP THIS TIME!" yelled Naruko through a mouthful of noodles.

"**Okay forget regular girl. No regular **_**human**_** would spend their money on ramen. Hell no **_**normal human**_** can stomach 30 bowls of ramen, even for a Akimichi and Jinchuriki." **said Kyuubi.

"_Stuff it fox. Teach forbade me from eating the stuff on the grounds that there's no nutritional value I can benefit from."_ snapped Naruko.

"**Not only that but this meal covers the rest of your savings."**

"_Not a problem, I never gave back the old man's card back."_

"**You never thought this through do you?"**

"Here you go Naruko." Ichiraku said, handing her a bowl of rice noodles with seafood.

"New menu?"

"I've wanted to try out new noodle recipes for a while and thought why not have you try it out."

Naruko devoured the bowl and immediately asked for more. "MORE PLEASE!"

"_**Damn flat-chested girl with a universe for a stomach."**_

--

The next day…

"I'm sitting next to Sasuke!" yelled Sakura.

"No, I'm sitting next to Sasuke!" yelled Ino.

"What makes you think you have the right to sit next to him Pig?"

"Because I said so Billboard Brow!"

"PIG!"

"BILLBOARD!"

"WARTHOG!"

"BALD FOREHEAD!"

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" yelled Naruko, caught (literally) between the arguments between the co-presidents of the Sasuke Fan Club.

"Stay out of this! And by the way…who are you? I didn't see you at the exams."

"Sarutobi-jiji gave me special permission to be a Genin. And I don't give a damn who sit next to the Pigeon just as long as you FRICKING PICK ALREADY!"

"DON'T INSULT SASUKE-KUN YOU FLAT-CHESTED BITCH!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING FLAT-CHESTED!"

As they yelled Sasuke simply hned uninterestingly. As the co-presidents verbally dish it out Naruko took the chance to inspect Sasuke.

"What is it?"

"Is it just me or is it that you ignored practically every girl here Pigeon? Are you gay?"

"No I'm not gay." said Sasuke, twitching internally.

"Whatever Sasgay."

Sasuke at this point is fighting back the rising urge to kill via **Goukakyu**. They each got into each other faces, not knowing that some kid from behind bumped Naruko from behind, causing her and Sasuke to connect with a big smooch. As the SFC freak out…

"Goddamn it Uzumaki I'll kill you for this." gagged Sasuke.

"Goddamn it Pigeon. You made me lose my first kiss. And you didn't have to use your tongue." gagged and (supposedly) lied Naruko. Sasuke twitched at the tongue 'lie' while Naruko felt a murderous aura.

"I'm gonna kill you for stealing Sasuke-kun's first kiss from me." simultaneously thought the SFC.

"If you want to kill me then try. Be warn though…I WILL TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU ANNOYING FREAKS!" yelled Naruko, provoking them to fight.

"**Nice, chick fight." **said Kyuubi.

"Yare yare Naruko, already a day passed since you came back and already you started a fight." said Iruka as he came in.

"Oh hey Iruka-sensei. Long time no see." cheerfully said Naruko.

As soon as Iruka said Naruko the Genin hopeful thought of another Naruko before she left. The one they remember wasn't a loudmouth with a less-than-normal personality. Hell the Naruko they know could make Hinata seem sociable. The distinguishing feature they both had was that they had blonde hair, have the same unique blue eyes, and the unmistakable whiskers.

"Holy crap it's Naruko!" exclaimed Kiba.

"No kidding Ass Breath." said Naruko.

"What was that bitch."

"You heard me mutt."

"How troublesome."

"Still a lazy ass eh Shikamaru?"

"Damn right Naruko."

"If you guys don't mind I'm gonna announce the (last minute) teams now."

Later on a bit…

"Team Seven will consist of Uzumaki Naruko, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke. Your teacher is Hatake Kakashi."

"I'M WITH THE PIGEON?!" yelled Naruko.

"Yes, even though you were gone for four years we still have your test scores and frankly they're worst than Shikamaru's." said Iruka.

"…damn…" groaned Naruko. _"Stupid fan girl."_

"Whatever." said Sasuke passively. _"Stupid fan girl."_

"Ha, take that pig." cheered Sakura. **"HA, ONE STEP CLOSER TO SASUKE. CHA!"**

"Team 8 will consists of Hyuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, and...Aburame Shino……Team 10 will consist of Yamanaka Ino ("I got the lazy ass?"), Nara Shikamaru ("Heh, guess you're stuck with me Ino."), and Akimichi Chouji. ("Crap, not the fat ass." groaned Ino which Chouji retaliates with a glare.).

Sometime after the other Jonin picked up their students only Team Seven was left in the classroom. Sakura was fuming, Sasuke was brooding, and Naruko was playing a pleasant tune on her sitar. Soon enough (a record three second earlier than earlier) Kakashi appears.

"Hm, my impression of you guys…the Pinky is useless, Broody sucks, and the flat one needs a lesson in self-control." Sakura glared, Sasuke passively shrugged it off, and Naruko scowled at him. "Meet me on the roof after lunch and nice tune Blondie."

--

Later…

"Let me introduce myself. I'm Hatake Kakashi. My likes are none of your concern (**"He likes reading porn."**), I have not a clue what I hate (**"He probably hates the waiting time between each release."**). My hobbies…do I have any? (**"Read that one book."**) My dreams…(**"Own the entire Icha Icha collection."**)."

"That was pointless." commented Naruko.

"You're up Broody."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. It's none of your concern about what I like (**"Guys"**), hate (**"Girls"**), or what's my hobbies (**"Checking out guys."**). My dream is more of an ambition. I will restore my clan and kill a certain man (**"Or finding the right guy."**)."

"You're next pinky."

"Pinky?" I'm Haruno Sakura. I like…well the person I like…(giggling)…(**"Girls"**). What I hate is Ino-pig and Naruto ("Whatever Pinky.") (**"Guys."**). My hobbies… (giggling) (**"Kissing girls."**) And my dreams… (squeals in delight) (**"Get involved in an explicit lesbian relationship that I can really enjoy."**)."

"And finally you Blondie."

"Uzumaki Naruko. I really like noodles, fighting, and playing the sitar. (**"She enjoys looking at big breasts."**) I hate waiting for ramen and the insults a certain person throws at me. (**"Because she's flat-chested."**) My hobbies are laying the sitar, training, and eating new types of noodles. (**"Look at women with big breasts."**) And my dream is to be the kunoichi I can be. I don't want to be a kage of any kind because of the paperwork. (**"Gain a big set of hills if you know what I mean."** Kyuubi snickered.) _Go to fucking Hell Fox!"_

"_Hm, one obsessed fan girl, one brooding avenger and one flat-chested blonde. _Alright now that we introduced ourselves we're gonna take a test to see your worth as a Genin."

"But aren't we Genin already?"

"Think of it as a means of weeding out the hopeless and selecting the ones who have any shred of being Genin."

"Then what was that graduation exam about?"

"Screwing around with your heads." Kakashi smiled and (without them knowing) lied. Sakura scowled, Sasuke mentally scowled, and Naruko shrugged it off considering she didn't need to take the test.

* * *

**A/N: A little slow and dull but it'll pick up later. So review and later cowboys…**

**Jutsu List:**

**Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique)**

**Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique)**

**Kawarimi no Jutsu (Replacement Technique)**

**Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique)**

**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)**

**Futon: Tatsumaki no Jutsu (Wind Release: Tornado Technique) – Pretty much create a basic tornado. Considered as a the basis of tornado techniques**

**Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Grand Fireball Technique)**


	2. Kakashi's Test

A/N: Since I got positive reviews from this I'll keep writing this. Anyways I won't dwell into romance until Naruko is older. After all ,she's only 12. All I can say is that Naruko won't pair up with either Sasuke or Gaara because for starters they're far too common and also I have plans for them, especially Sasuke. Thanks for the reviews and enjoy!

Disclaimer: All I got is 5 bucks. Not Naruto.

Legend

"…normal…"

"…_thoughts…"_

"…**Kyuubi & Inner Voices, Naruko's conscience talks/Jutsu**…"

"…_**Kyuubi thinks**…"_

* * *

Chapter 2: Kakashi's Test

The next day (around 0600 hours)…

"Goddamn alarm clock and Kakashi for waking me up early." grumbled Naruko while half asleep.

"I didn't get the chance to clean up properly." moaned Sakura while trying to keep at least one eye open.

"Hn." said a fully awake Sasuke.

"_Just how does the Uchiha stay awake at this hour?"_ thought Naruko.

About 3 hours later Sakura is getting impatient, Sasuke is his usual silent self, and Naruko is playing a tune that's calm yet a little sad. Another hour later even Naruko is becoming impatient.

"Sorry I'm late but I saw a woman with empty water buckets heading toward me so I had to take the long way." lied Kakashi.

"LIAR!" yelled Sakura and Naruko.

"Uh yeah, well anyways since we're running late you guys have less time for this test."

"No thanks to you." mumbled Naruko.

"Anyways this is your test. You must get these two bells from me before noon. Those who don't get a bell not only lose out on lunch but also get the humiliation of getting tied to a stump while I eat your lunch."

"_So that why he told us to skip breakfast." _thought Sakura and Sasuke.

"_Bastard, I'll kill him if he makes me skip two meals." _thought Naruko.

"_This should be fun. _Since there are only two bells only one will be tied to the stump and also get sent back to the academy. It's best that you use your weapons since if you come at me without the instinct to kill you will fail." said Kakashi which increased the serious mood in the air.

"But then you'll be in danger." concerned Sakura.

"Not like it matters Pinky. You kill or be killed." said Naruko.

"The flat-chested one is right._ Sorta._" said Kakashi.

"_Flat-chested. Flat-chested. Flat-chested. Flat-chested."_ echoed within the mind of Naruko.

"**This should be interesting.**" said Kyuubi.

Naruko charged at Kakashi with the intent to kill. But before she can draw her blade Kakashi appears behind her and restrained her while pointing his finger at her head.

"You know, if this was a real weapon I would've killed you by now." said Kakashi as he released Naruko.

"_He's good."_ thought both Naruko and Sakura.

"_So this is a Jonin._" thought Sasuke.

"When you're ready, BEGIN!" Kakashi declared as all three Genin ran to find a hiding spot.

About 10 minutes later Sasuke is trying to formulate a plan to get a bell alone, Sakura is trying to find her precious Sasuke-kun, and Naruko is calmly assessing the situation…

"_I'll kill him I'll kill him I'll kill him!"_ growled Naruko.

"**Yup, this should be interesting."**

"_Look, I don't have to take this from you. Screw this, I could use the workout."_

"Good, they all hid well." Kakashi said.

"Kakashi, fight me right now!" yelled Naruko all out in the open.

"_What an idiot." _thought Sasuke.

"You're weird, you know that." said Kakashi.

"The only thing that's weird is your stupid hairstyle Scarecrow." charged Naruko.

"You also lack respect for others." said Kakashi as he reached into his pocket.

"Until that day comes, DIE TEME!" yelled Naruko.

She was about to hit Kakashi when he pulled out Icha Icha Paradise Vol. 6. She wasn't expecting a book so she tripped and fell on her face.

"Goddamn it. What's the book for?"

"The book is for me to read. After all, I do want to know how the story folds out. Besides I doubt you can hit me whether or not I'm reading."

"DIE!"

Naruko tries to punch his head but Kakashi blocked. She then tried a roundhouse kick but Kakashi ducked so she went for a leg sweep which Kakashi avoided. She then tried for a side kick but Kakashi appears behind her.

"A ninja never turn his back on the enemy." said Kakashi as he tripped her and grabbed her by the ankles. He then swings her around and throws her into the lake.

"_Damn Scarecrow. Well let's see what happens." _Naruko swam out of the lake and went off somewhere.

"_One down, two to go." _thought Kakashi as he read his book.

Sasuke took the chance to attack Kakashi by throwing a barrage of kunai and shuriken. They hit their mark but instead of Kakashi having a few more holes in his head he was replaced by a log.

"_Crap, he used **Kawanami no Jutsu **to replace himself with that log. Plus he figured out where I am. I better move fast." _thought Sasuke.

Meanwhile Sakura is still searching for her precious Sasuke-kun when she notices Kakashi. She immediately hides from him.

"_Good, he didn't see me."_

"Yo." Kakashi appears from behind.

"GYAHHHH!"

Naruko on the other hand has finish drying herself off and is off to formulate another plan.

"_If taijutsu won't work then how about ninjutsu." _thought Naruko.

"**Might I suggest the Oiroke no Jutsu. This way you'll replace your chest with twins." **suggested Kyuubi.

"_I'm not going to rely on that. And stop calling me flat-chested."_

"**Yeah, eventually it'll go old._ Doesn't mean that I won't stop insulting her. Hehehehe."_**

And so Naruko runs off again. Meanwhile Sakura is falling to the effects of Kakashi's **Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu**.

"Kakashi-sensei, where are you?" yelled Sakura.

"Sakura…" echoed Sasuke.

"Sasuke!" exclaimed Sakura. However she sees Sasuke looking like target practice for Tenten.

"AAAHHH!" screamed Sakura.

"Must've gone overboard." said Kakashi as he continues reading.

"_That scream must be Sakura." _thought Sasuke.

"Well, time to find the Uchiha." said Kakashi.

"_Genjutsu, a type of technique that induces illusions on the opponent. I can understand Sakura, but…"_

Meanwhile Sakura can be found foaming at the mouth.

"Unlike both of them, I'm completely different." declared Sasuke.

"Try saying that after getting the bell, _Sasuke-kun._" said Kakashi by a tree.

As Sasuke tries to prove that he's better than the rest Naruko is finding Kakashi when she sees Sakura.

"Foaming at the mouth I see." sighed Naruko.

Naruko slapped her a few times to only have her head connect with Naruko.

"Goddamn forehead, that hurts." Naruko holds her head in pain.

"Sorry, but shouldn't you be trying to one of the bells." Sakura holds her head as well.

"Don't worry, I figured out that we're to use teamwork. But for my plan to work, it requires for me to distract him while you and the poultry grab his bells."

"Tell me, why do you keep insulting Sasuke-kun?"

"Well for starters his hair looks like the ass of a chicken. And second I won't show respect to people unless they show to me why they deserve it. And believe me; you have ways to go Pinky." Naruko said as she runs off.

"_She's stronger than me, that I'm sure of." _Sakura thought before running off to find Kakashi and find the right opportunity to find a bell.

Meanwhile Sasuke was going all out to defeat Kakashi with various punches and kicks.

"I have to say, you are different from the others. Hell you made it so I don't have time to read my book. _And it was getting good with Honoka and Millie." _Kakashi said while suppressing a perverse giggle.

"**Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu!"** Sasuke yelled.

"_A Genin like him shouldn't have enough chakra for a technique like that." _surprised Kakashi.

Sasuke unleashed a fireball aimed towards Kakashi. Kakashi dodges but instead heads toward…

"Naruko, watch out!" yelled Kakashi.

Naruko looks at the fireball and quickly formed the seals for **Raiton: Raikyu no Kutsu** to conjure a lightning ball from her hands and launch it towards the fireball, canceling each other out.

"Goddamn Uchiha, watch where you're aiming!" yelled Naruko.

"Why bother." Said Sasuke.

"_Goddamn Uchiha, I feel like conjuring up a chakra sphere combined with a vacuum and grind his ass. _Listen, you don't like me and I just plain out hate you. But if we're going to pass this test you got to listen to me."

"Why?"

"Because my plan's going to work. And there might be a jutsu for you to learn."

"I'm listening."

Naruko finished relaying her plan to Sasuke. Sasuke, while having his pride as an Uchiha plummet a few levels, agreed and went off. Within the trees Kakashi smiled.

"_Well, at least they're working together. Now let's see if they can pull it off. Hm, where did my book go?" _Kakashi thought.

Meanwhile Naruko went off to find Kakashi to implement her plan when she notices a peculiar book on the ground.

"_Hmm, this is the book that Scarecrow was reading. I want to see what's inside but…"_

"_**More entertainment for me."**_

Naruko's curiosity peaked and was further influenced by her conscience in the form of Little Angel Naruko and Little Devil Naruko on her shoulders.

"**Do it, you know you want to."** said LD Naruko.

"I don't know. Last time I listened to you I nearly laughed to death."

"**Oh yeah, that was amusing even though I was close to death." **said Kyuubi.

"Damn tasty mushrooms. What do you say LA Naruko?" inquired Naruko.

"**What are you looking at me for? I want to know too."** said LA Naruko.

"**Aha! Some angel you are!" **said LD Naruko.

"**Shut up and just read it Naruko!" **snapped LA Naruko.

The three Narukos took a look at the book and they were as red as a red Toyota Pickup from the 80s. LA Naruko got corrupted by a bit, LD couldn't get any more tainted than before, and Naruko…

"_Scarecrow read these things? I swear I gonna burn this when I get the chance. Damn, all these girls have a bigger chest than mine." _mentally cried Naruko.

"**You damn right."**

"_Waah, he's right. And I'm agreeing with him?! WAAAH!" _

"So I see you took a look in my book." said Kakashi who appeared behind her.

"Sc-scarecrow. I-I wasn't look-looking. I-I wa-was…" stammered Naruko.

"From your look I say you were probably jealous that you don't have breast like them huh." chuckled Kakashi. To him he's just playing around but to Naruko she retaliates with a swing from her sitar.

"Once is bad enough. But twice, I"LL KILL YOU!" roared Naruko as she pummeled the living hell out of Kakashi. While she unleashes her feminine fury on the silver-haired Jonin…

"_Is this her plan to distract Kakashi?" _thought Sasuke.

"_I can understand from a female's point of view but still I expected something cool." _thought Sakura.

"**This is too fun to watch."** said Kyuubi.

However both of them have the same thought:

"_It's a perfect time to get those bells."_

And so while Kakashi was having thoughts of walking towards the light Sasuke and Sakura took the chance to rush in and steal the bells. Kakashi was saved from eternal sleep when Naruko took a breather with her sitar surprisingly intact, minus the bump.

"Well, at least you hit harder than most of the women I know. Although you still didn't get a bell." said a bloody Kakashi.

"Oh really?" smirked Sakura while Sasuke just gave a slight grin. They each hold up a bell.

"Ah I see. While Naruko was pummeling me you used the time to steal my bells, right Naruko?" said Kakashi.

"Huh? Uh…ummm…yes! That was my plan all along. Ha ha ha ha!" Naruko laughed with a stupid look on her face. _"Oh, I am so fucked."_

"**You're damn right. Ah well, nothing else to do except play around with my Hoshi no Tama. Although it really does nothing except that it makes a good yo-yo."** Kyuubi said as he used the star ball as a yo-yo.

"Either way, you all pass." Kakashi smiled as he hands each of them a lunch box.

"Hey Scarecrow, how the hell did you heal so fast." asked Naruko.

"It's not like I can get hurt from your swings. Now tomorrow we'll start our missions together as Team Seven. Oh by the way, you look good in white Naruko." Kakashi let out a faint perverse giggle.

"Goddamn Ero-sensei." growled Naruko.

"**If you were older and had a full set of twins, white panties would look good on you."** said Kyuubi.

"_Goddamn fox."_

"Damn, this taste horrible." complained Sakura while Sasuke just threw it in the trash.

"Oh, by the way Uchiha, here." Naruko hands him a scroll.

"What's this?" said Sasuke.

"The jutsu I might promise you. Later." Naruko said before runningsoff.

Sasuke opened it up to reveal…

"Sorry Uchiha, but I did say might." read Sasuke.

"Damn it." cursed Sasuke. However he forgot to read:

"Oh, by the way…SUCKER!"

The scroll glowed and exploded, leaving Sasuke and Sakura target practice for paintball.

"**SHANNARO! I'LL KILL HER!"** yelled both Sakura and Inner Sakura.

"One of these days I will get her." muttered Sasuke.

A few days later the credit card bill appeared in Sarutobi's mailbox and…

"NARUKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Sarutobi, which could be heard all around.

At Naruko's apartment…

"Did I just hear something?" said Naruko over a cup of ramen.

"**Don't ask me, I'm sealed in your gut." **replied Kyuubi.

Somewhere in Kusagakure…

"Did I just hear Sarutobi-sensei?" said Tsunade, losing the rest of her money in poker.

At an unknown location…

"Did we hear something?" said one half of Zetsu.

"Must be a steep credit card bill." said the other.

And in another universe…

"Is it just me or did I hear the old man yell." said Naruto.

"**Nah, must be a different universe."** said (Fem)Kyuubi.

* * *

A/N: Got nothing except review and later cowboys. 

**Jutsu List:**

**Kawanami no Jutsu (Replacement Technique)**

**Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique)**

**Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu (Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique) **

**Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Grand Fireball Technique)**

**Raiton: Raikyu no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Lightning Ball Technique) – Kinda like Raiga's technique, only the user can conjure the ball with their hands**


	3. Konohamaru and Wave

A/N: Nothing.

Disclaimer: I'm broke so LAY OFF!

Legend

"…normal..."

"…_thoughts..."_

"…**Kyuubi talks/Jutsu**..."

"…_**Kyuubi thinks**…"_

* * *

**Chapter 3: Konohamaru and Wave**

After the whole credit card incident Sarutobi decided to let Naruko go. After all she was a good kid with an arsenal of pranks, exploding paintball tags, and an **Oiroke no Jutsu**.

And so Naruko learned what it means to have the patience of a shinobi…in the form of D-rank missions.

"Goddamn D-rank missions, I swear they're the absolute worst. At least we got a decent C-rank." grumbled Naruko.

Flashback…

After the run-in with the Fire Daimyo's Wife's Cat…

"For Team Seven, you have a choice of harvesting potatoes, shopping, babysitting…"

Sarutobi was cut off.

"NO FUCKING WAY! I refuse to do any more D-ranks until we get a better mission. Especially one involving cats!" yelled Naruko.

"_She's right; they're a waste of time." _thought Sasuke.

"_How annoying." _thought Sakura.

"_Sigh, I figured something like this would happen." _thought Kakashi.

"You moron! You're a rookie who starts off doing grunt work and work your way up!" yelled back Iruka.

"But I've done far more better things on my training journey. Give me something better!"

"Calm down. Yelling won't get you anywhere." Kakashi whacked her head.

"That hurt you know." complained Naruko.

"Listen Naruko…" Sarutobi rambles on the whole rank thing and rewards for doing them. "…and that is why…"

"Well last night I had pork ramen so miso ramen sounds good for lunch." said Naruko, completely ignoring Sarutobi.

"LISTEN YOU IDIOT!" roared Sarutobi.

"I…I apologize Hokage-sama." apologized Kakashi.

"All you ever do is give out lectures like that old man. But you forget that I'm not the shy and timid little girl I used to be. I can handle anything you throw at me." declared  
Naruko.

Iruka let out a smile while Sarutobi chuckled. "Very well then, I allow you to go on a C-rank. Bring in the client." The door opened to reveal a drunken Tazuna.

"Is this the team that's supposed to escort me? They look like stupid kids to me, especially the stupid looking blonde midget." slurred Tazuna.

While Sasuke and Sakura twitched…

"I'll kill you for calling me short!" Naruko yelled while being restrained by Kakashi.

"Now now, no client means no cash. _No cash means no Paradise and I be damned if I let you deprive me of a new book." _Kakashi said.

"I am the mighty bridge builder Tazuna. I expect you to give me top grade protection until I get back home and to my bridge." said Tazuna.

End Flashback…

"Damn drunk. At least I have miso ramen to calm me down." Naruto muttered. She did notice that a blanket was following her.

"Nice try, but that's the worst example of hiding yourself I have ever seen." said Naruko.

"Just as expected from my future sensei." From the blanket emerged Konohamaru.

"Uh, who the hell are you?"

"My name is Konohamaru and I demand that you teach me that technique that defeated the old man."

"Uh, what technique?"

"You call it the **Oiroke no Jutsu.**"

"Uh, why?"

"So I can defeat the old man and become the Hokage."

"Uh, why Hokage?"

"So everyone can acknowledge me for who I am and not the old man's grandson."

"No I mean why you want to become Hokage? All you really do all day is a decade worth of paperwork."

Meanwhile 5 different Kage are coincidentally doing paperwork at the same time.

"DAMN THIS UNFORGIVABLE TASK THAT IS PAPERWORK!" they all yelled simultaneously.

Meanwhile with Naruko she broke down after intensive nagging from Konohamaru so she's spearheading Konohamaru's lesson on the **Oiroke no Jutsu**.

"Too fat!" yelled Naruko.

"Right. **Henge!**" said Konohamaru.

"You're too skinny. Add more beauty to it."

"Okay!"

"I said beauty, not ugliness!"

"Gimme a break here. I'm only 8!"

"Not an excuse. Keep at it!"

"Damn slave-driving flat-chested girl."

Naruko retaliates by whacking his head. "Say that again and I'll use my sitar instead brat."

"Okay, please don't do that again. **Henge!"**

"That's a guy, not a girl!"

Later on at a vending machine…

"I finally found you young master." said Ebisu a.k.a. Closet Pervert a.k.a. Voted Most Likely to Own a Bookstore If You Get My Drift.

"Who the hell are you?" said Naruko bluntly.

"_Ugh, the Kyuubi no Gaki."_ thought Ebisu.

"_Haven't seen that look in a long time." _thought Naruko.

"Young master, you must come with me and away from riff-raff like her."

"_Like I care. I heard worse from those bastards."_

"NO! I WILL DEFEAT THE OLD GEEZER AND BECOME THE HOKAGE SO BACK OFF!" Konohamaru stoically said.

"A Hokage must." Ebisu was ignored as he talks.

"**Henge!"** Konohamaru said.

"And that's…huh?"

"Take this, **Oiroke no Jutsu!!"** Konohamaru seductively said while in Sexy form.

"_Well, at least he got it right this time. Excellent work on the curves." _thought Naruko.

"It didn't work?" Konohamaru dropped the henge as Ebisu jaw dropped to the floor.

"Wh-wh-what a vulgar skill! I am a gentleman who will not fall for a stupid low-class skill like that!"

"_Low-class, how rude."_

"You'll only get more stupid if you hang out with a stupid girl like her." Ebisu pulled on a resisting Konohamaru by the scarf.

"_Stupid? THAT"S IT!_ **KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" **Naruko roared as she made about 30 clones.

"WOW! AMAZING!" said an amazed Konohamaru.

"Heh, I'm a Tokubetsu Jonin and it'll take a lot more than kage bunshin to take me down." said a confident Ebisu.

"**HENGE!" **Naruko transformed into multiple forms of her sexy form that latched onto

Ebisu, who immediately lost consciousness from the massive blood loss.

"Uh, **Haremu no Jutsu. **_The **Oiroke** was bad enough."_

Meanwhile Sarutobi was using **Tomegane no Jutsu** to spy on Naruko and Konohamaru.

"_Ugh, combining the **Oiroke no Jutsu** with **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.** Truly an idiotic technique that can work on me…probably." _Sarutobi groaned.

Kyuubi on the other hand became the first person to faint from the **Harem Jutsu **without getting a massive nosebleed.

Back with the two…

"Damn it! I can't believe I didn't beat my tutor. I want the title that will have people acknowledge me."

"Ah, don't bother. All you really do all day is paperwork." All she got from Konohamaru is silence. "Sigh, it won't be easy becoming Hokage."

"Huh?"

"Becoming Hokage is no easy task. I went through life for a while before Iruka-sensei acknowledged me and that was a lot of hard work. Prepare yourself because to become Hokage there are no shortcuts."

"I see, alright from now on you're are not my sensei anymore. We're rivals."

"Huh? What are you talking about? I have no desire to become Hokage."

"Why?"

"Because I dream to become the best kunoichi out there without being a kage. Doesn't mean you don't have to become Hokage. Hell with me out of the running you'll have a better chance of becoming one. Now I gotta go and pack up. I'll see you later Konohamaru." Naruko waved at Konohamaru and he couldn't help but look up to her. From afar Sarutobi couldn't help but let out a big smile and blow off paperwork for the day.

The next day…

"Sorry I'm late but I forgot something and I have to get it. Then I have to look at the mirror or else this journey will spell disaster." Kakashi lied.

"LIAR!" yelled Naruko and Sakura.

Anyways…

"Wave Country, here we come!" Naruko raised her fist in the air.

"Dobe, do you know where Wave actually is?" said Sasuke.

"Um…actually I've only been around Sand and Rain." Naruko admitted.

"Time for a lesson. " Kakashi lectures on about the hidden villages and other stuff covered already. To Naruko it's all incoherent talk, especially since she has an attention span of a rodent for lectures.

"Wow, Hokage-sama is the best." cheered Sakura.

"**That old geezer is that awesome? Something's fishy…" **questioned Inner Sakura.

"You just doubted Hokage-sama, did you?" said Kakashi. "But don't worry. Since this is a C-rank mission the chances of enemy ninja appearing is close to zero."

"And if we do run into the enemy they will have to face me." Naruko confidently said.

"Am I safe with her?" questioned Tazuna.

"Who knows?" said Sasuke.

"But then she did went on a training journey for four years and she came back with a complete personality overhaul." said Sakura.

The conversation was cut short as the Demon Bros. emerged from the puddle and ensnared Kakashi with their spiked chains. Then with one swerved they tore apart Kakashi and left him a mutilated, bloody mess.

"Kakashi-sensei!' cried Sakura. Sasuke took a battle pose but before he could do anything the brothers' chains was cut through by Naruko with just two hits from her drawn kodachi. Before they could react Kakashi came in and slammed their skulls together.

"One can do wonders when they know **zantetsu. **_Though it's impossible for me to do itunderwater._ " said Naruko.

"Indeed. Tazuna, I need to speak to you." said Kakashi.

While they talk…

"Naruko, just when you learned to use a sword like that?" questioned Sakura.

"I had a sensei who taught me. She was also the one who gave me the blade before I went on my own. Although I'm a bit worried about her excessive drinking." Naruko said.

"Whatever." Sasuke just don't care. Of course he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of Naruko.

Anyways the Genin got involved in the conversation involving Gato and the mission itself.

"You know if you quit the mission then I will be killed." said Tazuna.

"But…" Kakashi was cut off.

"Don't worry about it. If that happens then my cute 10 year old grandson will cry his eyes out for 10 days! And my daughter will live a tragic life of hatred towards Konoha forever!" Tazuna laughed while trying to lead them on a guilt trip. While Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke were feeling guilty…

"We must help him because I refused to bring down his family." Naruko stoically said.

"_I win." _thought Tazuna.

"**_Just what with you humans and guilt trips?"_** Kyuubi thought.

* * *

A/N: The next chapter will be better. Review and later cowboys. 

**Jutsu list:**

**Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique)**

**Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique)**

**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)**

**Haremu no Jutsu (Harem Techniqe)**

**Tomegane no Jutsu (Telescope Technique)**

**Zantetsu (Iron Cut) – Sword skill that can cut through steel**


	4. Zabuza and Haku

A/N: Nothing except enjoy!

A/N/N: I'll let go of the fact that I only got 2 reviews for the last chapter but I prefer if I got more. And I'm not that demanding either (somewhere around 5-10 will suffice).

Disclaimer: I experienced hot and cold weather in the same day and I still don't own Naruto.

Legend

"…normal..."

"…_thoughts..."_

"…**Kyuubi talks/Jutsu**..."

"…_**Kyuubi thinks**…"_

* * *

Chapter 4: Zabuza and Haku

About a few days later they reached the Land of Waves. Somewhere down the road…

"Anybody up for rabbit stew?" Naruko said while holding up a snow rabbit by the paws.

"You moron! You're gonna kill a helpless rabbit for something stupid as food." yelled Sakura.

"Why not? OW!" Naruko yelled in pain when the rabbit bit her. "GODDAMN RABBIT! THIS IS WHY I HATE ANIMALS!"

A little later…

"Duck!" Kakashi shouted. Everyone barely ducked in time to see a zanbatou that impaled itself to a tree. Immediately the one and only Zabuza stood on to of his blade.

"Well well well. If it isn't Kiri's Missing-nin Momochi Zabuza." said Kakashi.

"And you must be famed Copycat Ninja Hatake Kakashi." said back Zabuza.

Naruko was about to rush in and draw her blade when Kakashi prevented her from coming in any further.

"Stand down Naruko. Even with your training you're no match for him." Kakashi said as he pulls up his hitai-ate from his left eye. "Guess it's time that I use this."

"_So we're about to see your Sharigan." _thought Zabuza.and Naruko.

??? were Sakura and Tazuna's expressions.

"_Sharingan?!" _thought Sasuke.

And soon enough emerged Kakashi's sharingan.

"Ah, the sharingan. I'm honored." Zabuza said.

"_So that's the sharingan I heard of."_ thought Naruko. Sasuke pretty much thinks what already occurred in the manga while Sakura and Tazuna were still ???. Zabuza disappeared and reappeared on the lake where he formed the seal for **Kirigakure no Jutsu**. Soon enough the whole area was covered in a thick mist.

"He'll come for me first. As a former member of the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen of the Mist he's an expert on the silent kill. Since my sharingan isn't perfect, be careful." said Kakashi.

"Damn, the mist is getting thicker." said Sakura.

"So many parts to cut. Will it be the kidneys, the heart, lungs, etc." echoed Zabuza.

Kakashi quicky formed a seal.

"_This ki is so dangerous. If I make at least a single move I could be killed immediately. This feeling, it's driving me insane. A fight between Jonin, it's too intense. I can't take it!" _Sasuke thought as he's about to stab himself.

Naruko on the other hand was breathing heavily with her eyes narrowed in excitement.

"_The lust of battle lingers in the air. The feeling of a fight this caliber drives me crazy with pure excitement. Screw this, I want to jump in and tear up the battlefield. I just LOVE IT! HAHAHAHA!" _Naruko's inner fighter emerging within her.

(A/N: A thing about Naruko is that she has fight lust whenever she feels an exciting match is going to happen. And if you haven't figured it out, Naruko enjoys fights. A LOT.)

"Calm down you two, especially you Naruko. I won't let anything happen to you guys. I'll protect you guys with my life." reassured Kakashi, which eased Sasuke's tension and Naruko's fight lust by a degree.

"How touching." Zabuza said, appearing in the middle of the Genin and Tazuna ready to strike. Before he can do anything Kakashi rushed in and struck Zabuza with his kunai, to only reveal a **Mizu Bunshin**. Kakashi swerved around to strike Zabuza as he's about to slick Kakashi in half nut to reveal another **Mizu Bunshin.**

"Scarecrow, look above you!" yelled Naruko.

Kakashi immediately struck an overhead Zabuza but he bursted into water and the real Zabuza reappeared behind Kakashi with a kunai to his throat.

"Impressive Kakashi, but it's not enough to save you." Zabuza said as he slit Kakashi's throat. Unfortunately instead of blood spraying from the throat allk it sprayed out is water.

The real Kakashi reappeared with a kunai at Zabuza's throat.

"Is that all you have Zabuza." said Kakashi.

"Fu fu fu. Not quite Kakashi." Zabuza said as he kicked down Kakashi and immediately performed the **Suiro no Jutsu** to encase Kakashi in a water prison. "We can finish our fight later Kakashi but right now I got some brats to hack up." Zabuza immediately made another water clone.

"_Damn, he's stronger than I expected."_ thought Kakashi.

"Hehehe. Wearing those forehead protectors and acting as if you're real ninjas. But you should know that a real ninja is someone who defies death numerous times. Until you have seen the true face if death, I won't acknowledge you as ninjas." Zabuza said as he disappeared.

"Where did he go?" said Naruko. Zabuza reappears in front of her and kneed her in the gut hard enough to have her hitai-ate fall off.

"Naruko!" yelled Sakura.

"Run away you guys! Take Tazuna and get the hell out of her immediately! You're no match for him! Remember, as long as I'm trapped in this prison, there's no way for him to move. And his water clone can't travel far from the real body so run away now!" yelled Kakashi.

While Sakura, Sasuke, and Tazuna were thinking of running away…

"**Lightning Blast!**" yelled Naruko as she shot a blast of lightning at both Zabuza and the clone. The clone burst into water but the real Zabuza merely dodged. "Heh, I'll never run away from a fight. Especially a good one like this."

Naruko rushed in with the intent to attack. Zabuza tried to kick her again but she swerved and went for her hitai-ate.

"You idiot! You just risked your own life just for your headband?" yelled Sakura.

"First off, I know death. Especially since my slave driver of a sensei once left me to survive up north for a month with nothing but a knife before she began teaching me. And second…BOOM!"

As she said that a tag exploded in front of Zabuza but instead of being a regular exploding tag it was one of her flashbangs. While everyone was momentarily stunned from either the flash or the bang Naruko took the chance to rush in to attack Zabuza. Zabuza, who was momentarily blind and deaf, sensed Naruko and went to attack Naruko with his free leg. Naruko dodged and Zabuza tried to attack her again but Naruko began to move in a fluid motion while continuing to change her speed to try confusing her opponent.

"**Ryusui no Ugoki**. I don't know what you're trying but if you're thinking of confusing me with that technique you're sadly mistaken." replied Zabuza as he kicked Naruko hard. However that Naruko was a **Kage Bunshin**. In the meantime a fuma shuriken thrown by Sasuke was aimed toward Zabuza. He caught it but within the shadow of the first another fuma was aimed towards Zabuza's legs.

"_That's the **Kage Shuriken no Jutsu**." _thought Kakashi.

"Impressive but…" Zabuza jumped at the last minute to avoid the shuriken. However as soon as he avoided it the shuriken transformed into Naruko. "What?!"

Naruko was prepared to attack and with her kodachi in a reverse hold she spun around fast enough for her **Kaiten Kenbu**. Zabuza couldn't dodge it while holding up the water prison so he let go to avoid getting his chest sliced three times. Zabuza, seeing Naruko, went to attack her with the shuriken but Kakashi stepped in to block his attack.

"Nice plan Naruko." replied Kakashi.

"Yeah, since we can't match up against someone like Zabuza the only thing we can do is to make sure Zabuza release your prison. And so while everyone was stunned from my flashbang I made another clone while transforming myself into the shuriken and threw it to the pigeon (Sasuke). And you can pretty much guess from there. Besides, my **Kaiten Kenbu** still needs work and I had a perfect target." said Naruko.

"You think that but actually I got distracted and had to let go of the prison." said Zabuza.

"Don't kid yourself. You were _forced_ to release it. Naruko, it's best to get away from now." Naruko took heed and got out of the way. "As for you I don't fall for the same jutsu twice. So what will you do?"

"Bah."

Both of them jumped out onto the lake while performing numerous hand seals and chants.

"_What are they trying to do?" _were everyone's thought.

And soon enough…

"**Suiton: Suiryudan**!"

Emerging from the lake were two dragons composed of water of equal power. Both of them clashed against each other with both of them biting into each other and bursting into one huge torrent of water.

"_He performed that many seals in mere seconds. Plus he copied them perfectly."_ thought Sasuke.

"_What was that technique?"_ thought Sakura.

"_What a cool technique. If it wasn't for the fact that I can't use water techniques so well I would go all out to learn it." _thought Naruko.

"**_Ugh, what happened?"_** thought Kyuubi as he woke up.

Within the middle of the lake Zabuza and Kakashi clashed against each other with Zabuza thinking how the hell Kakashi copied his technique so perfectly. Then they jumped back with Zabuza trying to do something while Kakashi mimics him.

"_I don't get it. How…"_ thought Zabuza.

"…the hell did I copy your move?" said Kakashi.

"_WHAT?! Damn, that…"_ thought Zabuza.

"…goddamn freaky eye is pissing the hell out of me, right?" finished Kakashi.

"All you're doing is copying me."

"So you can't beat me you cheap excuse for a bastard."

"Goddamn, I'll make it…"

"…so you can't open that fucking mouth again."

At this point Zabuza's expression is !!!.

"_What?! That's…"_

Zabuza sees himself beside Kakashi. Kakashi in the meantime finish his jutsu.

"**Suiton: Daibakufu no Jutsu**!"

Water began to form in one huge halo in front of Kakashi while increasing in power and speed. Then it launched a huge torrent of water and slammed into Zabuza, carrying him across the lake and into a thick tree. While the tree stood its ground Zabuza felt the full force of his technique used against him. Everyone else was trying their hardest to not get swept up by the torrent. When the jutsu ended Zabuza was pinned by a few kunais with Kakashi on the tree.

"It's over Zabuza." said Kakashi.

"How? Can you predict the future?" said back Zabuza.

"You can say I can. Now, prepare to die." Kakashi said. But before he can deliver the finishing blow senbon needles flew from nowhere and pierced Zabuza's neck. Then the hunter-nin known as Haku appeared on the tree.

"It's true, he did die. And I thank you for helping me take down Zabuza." Haku said.

"You're a hunter-nin of Kirigakure." said Kakashi.

"What's a hunter-nin?" said Naruko as she moved in front of Sasuke, Sakura, and Tazuna.

"You don't know what a hunter-nin is?" said Sakura.

Kakashi went to describe a hunter-nin and their duties. Kakashi was expecting an outburst from Naruko but…

"Damn, that ninja must be good to take down Zabuza." said Naruko.

"You're not surprised?" said Kakashi.

"More like jealous but then I still have room for improvement. And I have heard of powerful ninjas who are younger than me but stronger than Scarecrow."

"_What?"_ were Sakura and Sasuke's thoughts.

"Exactly."said Kakashi as he ruffled her hair.

"Stop messing up my hair scarecrow. It's already a pain to keep it from getting any messier."

"**Didn't stop you on Mt. Shimoyake **(frostbite)** when you gone on a crazy hunt for survival."** said Kyuubi.

"_Hey, it's survival of the fittest. And at the time I was more worried about staying awake than trying to clean up the blood in my hair."_

Haku took the chance to take Zabuza's 'corpse' and disappear out of nowhere. At that time Kakashi collapse from chakra exhaustion. Sometime later after meeting Tazuna's family Kakashi took his team to a clearing to work on their chakra control. Needless to say Sakura climbed the tree with little disregard for the laws of physics, Sasuke still needs work, and Naruko…

"OW!" Naruko yelled as she landed on her head for the tenth time.

"Did your sensei ever teach you chakra control?" said Sakura.

"No, she said something like 'Work on your damn speed and worry about your crappy control later baka deshi (stupid apprentice)'. And she proceeded with more slave work."

"What kind of teacher is she?"

"The kind that you can both admire and absolutely hate. Especially since she keeps calling me her baka deshi."

Sometime later in the week and after a competition with Sasuke on who can climb the top of their tree first Naruko took a nap in a clearing when Haku, out searching for herbs for medicine, sees Naruko and approaches her. Haku tries to grip her neck but instead…

"You'll get a cold sleeping in a place like this." said Haku.

"Huh? Guess I overslept." Naruko yawned.

A little later…

"Is this it?" Naruko asked, holding up a plant.

"Yes, and thank you for helping me." said Haku.

"Why are you out this early?"

"I could say the same for you."

"Well, I was training to get stronger."

"Why do you want to be stronger?"

"So I can prove to the world that I can be the best kunoichi out there."

"I see. Tell me, do you have someone to protect?"

"Hn?"

"A person can become their strongest when they have someone to protect."

"I guess I understand. I may not have someone to protect right now but eventually I will."

"**It worked before."** (throws in images of protection equals greater strength from various series).

"_Where did you get the images?"_

"**Don't ask."**

"Well, I better be going. Oh and by the way, I'm a guy." Haku waved goodbye.

"Damn, for a guy he's cuter than me. I'm jealous." Naruko said in envy. Kyuubi on the other hand was literally petrified because of Haku being an androgynous (A/N: Having characteristics of both a guy and a girl. Basically Haku, Envy, Kurama, and Deidara for that matter.) guy.

A/N: And there you have it. Naruko knows Aoshi's sword style to an extent, she has fight lust, and her sensei has Hiko Seijuro's personality to an extent. Though she won't be appearing till MUCH later in the story. Review and later cowboys.

* * *

**Jutsu List:**

**Kirigakure no Jutsu (Hidden Mist Technique)**

**Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu (Water Clone Technique)**

**Suiro no Jutsu (Water Prison Technique)**

**Lightning Blast – Shoot bolts of lightning at the target**

**Ryusui no Ugoki (Flowing Water Movement) – Moving technique where one confuse the opponent with fluid motion and the constant changing speed. Essentially they move like water. And if you haven't guessed its Aoshi's technique from _Rurouni Kenshin_**

**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)**

**Kage Shuriken no Jutsu (Shadow Shuriken no Jutsu)**

**Kaiten Kenbu (Spinning-Heavenly Sword Dance…and don't bother correcting me since I got it straight from wikipedia and too lasy to check translator) – Sword technique where the user spins rapidly three times, while holding the kodachi backhand, and slice the opponent three times in an instant. Naruko's version still needs work but basically she can perform it.**

**Suiton: Suiryudan (Water Release: Water Dragon Blast)**

**Suiton: Daibakufu no Jutsu (Water Release: Great Waterfall Technique)**


	5. Trees and The Fated Battle on the Bridge

A/N: Okay to clear things up I'm not pairing up Haku with Naruko (sorry Dragon Man but I got a plan for him) and Itachi sounds nice (he rocks!) though I won't dwell into the pairings until she's older (it's too early for that and this is gonna be a long story). Suggestions are welcome though so keep them coming. Thanks for the reviews and enjoy.

A/N/N: If you're wondering about my other story (D&R) don't worry. I'm not giving up on it. I'm just having problems with the first match.

Disclaimer: Besides Naruto I don't own an army but I'm insane enough to try for world domination

Legend

"…normal..."

"…_thoughts..."_

"…**Kyuubi & Inner Sakura talks/Jutsu**..."

"…_**Kyuubi thinks**…"_

* * *

**Chapter 5: Trees and the Fated Battle on the Bridge  
**

Later that day Naruko and Sasuke made progress on climbing the tree (Naruko: 5 yards and Sasuke: 5 yards and a size 7 foot). Compared to Sakura though they have a better chance of making a pact with the princess of darkness to cheat in tree climbing than doing it on their own.

"_Goddamn it! I'm nowhere close to the top of that tree. Stupid Sasuke for making me do this bet." Naruko ranted._

Flashback…

"HAAAA!" Naruko and Sasuke yelled as they charged towards their tree and climbed. Naruko still couldn't grasp the concept of walking on her tree and thus fell down on her head again.

"GODDAMN IT! HOW COME I CAN'T CLIMB THIS FUCKING TREE?" Naruko yelled.

"**Yo kit. Just focus your chakra to your feet and think of them as super glue. Too little and it won't stick. Too much and you'll gonna have half your leg lodged into the tree. Trust me on this."**

"_You better be right about this." _And soon enough Naruko was sticking on the tree. Though she used too much chakra and fell back again.

"_Damn, I usually do better when I'm in a competitive mood...I got it!_ Hey Pigeon!"

"What?" Sasuke replied as he made his mark around four feet up the tree.

"Want to make this exercise more interesting. Let's make a bet. Whoever makes it to the top of that tree wins."

"What's in it for me?"

"How 'bout a new jutsu. Capable of helping in whatever vengeance you're trying to fulfill. And before you say anything there's no ulterior motive and no pranks."

"You better be telling the truth."

"I am. But if I win, you have to invite every member of your fan club and do a strip tease in front of them."

"WHAT?"

"What are you, a chicken?"

"NO! I accept your bet."

"Good."

"**Liar."**

"_Hehehehehe."_

End flashback…

Day Seven…

"Where's Naruko?" said Sakura.

"She said she's here but…" Kakashi was cut off by a yell.

"I'M RIGGGHHHT HERE!" Naruko literally fell from the sky. Fortunately for her Kakashi caught her. "Thank god I'm alive."

"You idiot! Don't scare us like that!" yelled Sakura while whacking Naruko.

"Ow! Sorry, guess I overshot it." Naruko admitted. Then she looks up and yelled: "HA PIGEON! I CLIMBED TO THE TOP OF MY TREE FIRST SO I WIN THE BET!"

Up there…

"_Damn." _Sasuke thought.

Back down…

"What bet?" asked Sakura.

"Heh, don't worry Pinky. You'll see in no time." Naruko smirked.

"_Why do I have this feeling that it involves Sasuke and his fan club._" thought Kakashi.

Tomorrow night…

"Has anybody seen Naruko?" said Kakashi.

"Dunno, the dobe probably got herself killed." Sasuke said.

"Who's the dobe that got herself killed Pigeon-teme?" said Naruto loudly with a vein sticking out the back of her head.

"Where you been Naruko?" asked Kakashi.

"Been practicing with the kodachi. Not like its any better since I'm still too slow and I still have ways to go before I start using Kodachi Nito-Ryu." Naruko went over to the table, but as soon as she sat down she immediately slammed her head on the table and dozed off.

"Damn, she's got to be dead tired if she didn't feel her head slamming the table." quoted Tazuna.

A little later…

"What's the point of trying to go against Gato? No matter how hard you train, you're no match for Gato. No matter what stupid noble claims or whatever hard training you get when you face the strong they live while the weak die." Inari declared. While everyone is surprised at his outburst…

"Wouldn't be the first time I nearly got killed." said Naruko who woke up. Everyone faced her. "After all my damn sensei nearly killed me during my training. Like bungee jumping for example…"

Flashback…

On top of an arch (the kind you see in those Japanese shrines)…

"Uh sensei, what's the point of this training?" asked a 9 year old Naruko in a training gi.

"This will teach you bravery and guts. It will also teach you to never back down in any situation whatsoever." said Sensei.

"Okay but does it has to be bungee jumping?"

"Yes"

"Just…how long is the rope."

"I don't know. I didn't measure." Sensei smiled in an Anko kind of way.

"WHAT?!"

"Off you go." She kicks her off the ledge.

"EYAHHHHH!" Naruko screamed for dear life. Just before she connects with the stone floor she stops exactly one inch from her head.

"Well well. Looks like you got lucky Naruko." Sensei chuckled. Naruko on the other hand fainted and foamed at the mouth.

End flashback…

"How irresponsible." said Tsunami.

"I know but she teaches well." said Naruko.

"It doesn't matter! You don't know squat about this country and yet you still meddle in our affairs!" yelled Inari.

"Then why don't you be like me and get involved."

"Who wants to be like you you flat-chested midget!"

Naruko at this point was pissed.

"I'm different from you, you were most likely spoiled your whole life and lived a life without worrying about anything and yet you don't understand how hard life can be!"

While everyone is stunned by Inari Naruko stood up and slammed her fist into the table.

"Shut the fuck up you fucking excuse for a brat." Naruko said with anger and malice. Tsunami was about to interject but Kakashi stopped her before she could do more harm. "Let me tell you something. You have a mother and grandfather who loves you. I am an orphan who lacked the love of family. Your village treats you nice. The damn villagers back home tried to kill me so many times for something I'm not like a certain furball."

"**OBJECTION! I'm more than a furball. I'm an ultra-powerful furball…wait that didn't come out right."** Naruko ignored him.

"If you want to do something do it. Otherwise just crawl up to your room and cry like the baby you are. Now before you spew out some nonsense my only recommendation is to just fuck off." Naruko took the chance and went outside to train some more while everyone else remain motionless.

Later that night Inari is outside while Kakashi approaches him.

"Mind if I join you?" asked Kakashi. Inari remain silent. Kakashi sat down anyways. "Well Naruko really didn't mean half those things she said. Usually she talks before thinking first." All he gets is silence. "Your grandfather told us about your father. Like you Naruko grew up without a father but unfortunately she had no family and frankly she had no friends. Basically she had a really rough life but I haven't seen her cry or complain since she left on her journey. My guess is that she wants people to acknowledge her and prove to herself that she can be the best kunoichi she can be."

"I still don't understand why she'll risk herself to help us." asked Inari.

"If she's anything like her sensei she's willing to help out a person in need."

"Do you know her?"

"I have a hunch and frankly she's friends with a person I'm fairly scared of." Kakashi shuddered. Within the shadows…

"_So he's scared of Sis' best friend huh. Interesting." _thought Naruko.

"**As a guy I should be scared. But as a demon lord, let the torture begin. Ku ku ku."** sadistically said Kyuubi.

The next morning Naruko remains fast asleep while Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura escort Tazuna to the bridge. A little later…

"Mmm, ramen…huh?" Naruko stirred and immediately stood up. "HOLY CRAP! I SLEPT IN! What's today?"

"**Saturday kit."**

"HOLY FUCK, ITS SATURDAY!"

Outside…

"Leave my mom alone!" yelled Inari as he charged at them.

"Cut him." said the guy with the beanie. Both of them charged for a dual strike while Tsunami screamed. However what they cut through was a log. Before they realized that…

"My suggestion to you two is back off. Otherwise… IF YOU TRY TO FUCK AROUND WITH ME THEN I'LL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO HACK YOU FUCKING BASTARDS INTO PIECES!" Naruko stood in the middle of them with their blades pointed at their throats. However when she said the second sentence she let off a fierce wave of killer intent and broke the handles of the blades, enough to drive both of them far away from her.

"_Good ol' killer intent. Great way to conserve chakra. _Damn, nearly got Inari hacked into two." said Naruko.

A little later…

"Naruko…um…" asked Inari.

"You did good Inari by stepping up for your mother. Listen, about yesterday." said Naruko.

"Huh?"

"I'm…sorry about saying those things…you know what forget it…crap I'm gonna be late! Take care of your mom okay!" Naruko said while running off to the bridge.

Meanwhile on the bridge Zabuza and Kakashi were fighting each other again, Sakura was guarding Tazuna with her life, and Sasuke is fighting Haku. Right now Sasuke and Haku lunged at each other with their weapons (kunai for Sasuke and senbon needles for Haku).

"Heh, looks like we're evenly matched." smirked Sasuke.

"Don't be too sure. So far I gain two advantages. The first is that we're surrounded by water. And second is that since you're using one hand to block my attack you can't perform seals for jutsu and your only resort is to run." Haku said while making one-handed hand seals.

"_What?! Seals with only one hand?" _thought Sasuke.

"**Sensatsu Suisho!**"

Haku gathers water from the air and ground and immediately forms them into thousand ice needles. But before they can rain down on Sasuke in places even an acupuncture specialist won't touch Sasuke concentrates his chakra to his feet to create a shockwave to block all the ice needles and drive back Haku. Immediately Sasuke close in to where Haku is and pointed a kunai at his back.

"You're good." replied Haku.

"You think." replied back Sasuke.

Over to where Zabuza and Kakashi is…

"Your student is good." said Zabuza.

"No surprise there. After all Sasuke is this year's number one rookie, Sakura is among the brightest (Sakura blushed in embarrassment while Inner Sakura gave a loud **"Damn right!"**), and our other ninja is Konoha's Most Unpredictable and Possibly Insane Blond Swordsman." Kakashi said.

Meanwhile Naruko sneezed and inadvertently slammed into a random tree, much to the amusement of Kyuubi.

Back on the bridge…

"Haku! Stop playing around with your prey and finish off the Uchiha brat!" yelled Zabuza.

"I understand." The Haku Sasuke was pointing at was actually a **Mizu Bunshin**. The real Haku let out a chilling aura while forming hand seals. "**Hyoton: Makyo Hyo Sho.**"

With the water left on the ground ice mirrors began to form around Sasuke. Haku then assimilates with the mirrors and his image is shown in all the mirrors.

"_They're just ordinary hunks of ice. Just what he's gonna do?"_ thought Sasuke.

"Let's begin shall we."

In one swift motion Haku cut Sasuke's leg.

"_What the hell?"_ Sasuke thought as he forced himself to his knee.

"This is just a taste of the jutsu's capability. It's time for the real show." Haku speeds up and at blinding speeds Haku slashes Sasuke repeatedly. Sasuke only choice in the moment is to cover himself to lessen the damage until Haku assault ends for the moment. Kakashi tries to save his student but Zabuza stops him.

"Sorry Kakashi but you're my opponent not Haku." said Zabuza.

"_Damn, I got to end this quick before that mask kid kills Sasuke."_ thought Kakashi.

Over another part of the bridge…

"What's happening over there?" said Sakura. Unknown to her Naruko finally approached the bridge but discreetly was next to her observing the match with a thermal scope.

"_I may not know what those blocks are but whatever it is mask boy is moving real fast from it. All I need is a perfect moment to strike." _analyzed Naruko.

Sasuke in the meantime tried to melt the ice with a **Goukakyu **but was rendered useless.

"Nice try but your fireball is too weak to melt my mirrors." Haku said as he continued the assault.

"_Perfect._**Thunder Flare!**" Naruko gets closer to the mirrors and binds Haku within a globe of blue lightning. She follows it with **Lightning Fist**. Here she concentrates electricity into her fist and slams it into the ground and immediately strikes Haku like lightning from the sky to the ground, in reverse order. Haku at this point was momentarily stunned from the volts of electricity running through his body.

"_And we have our Unpredictable Swordsman, or is it Swordswoman?"_ thought Kakashi.

"_Just what the hell is she?"_ thought Zabuza.

"_Where did she come from?"_ thought Sakura and Tazuna.

"What took you so long Blondie?" said Sasuke.

"Actually I got here just after Mask Boy finish his first assault. I just waited by Sakura for the right moment to strike. You still need work Pigeon." said Naruko.

"Shut up."

"You were beside me?" yelled Sakura.

"Either way I have a feeling who it is under the mask." Naruko heads into the mirrors towards Haku. She stops in front of him and unmask him. "And I'm right, it's Girly Boy."

"It's the Unpredictable and Possibly Insane Swordsman."

"Er, swordsman and unpredictable I can understand but how I am…never mind. Just tell me why you're fighting. You look like the type to help not kill." said Naruko.

"I do as what Zabuza tells me. After all I'm just a tool to him."

"And you're okay with being a tool for a eyebrow-less freak like Zabuza."

"First off, do not insult Zabuza. And second I am happy to become his tool because at one time he saved me from death. _Well not exactly_. But because I failed to kill I am no longer useful as a tool to him I am nothing but a rusted weapon ready to be thrown away. And so I have one request."

"What's that?"

"Please…kill me?"

"Say what?"

"I'm asking you to kill a useless tool like me."

"…no. I refuse to kill you."

"What?"

"I refuse to kill someone desperate for death. Not again."

"What are you saying? A shinobi lives to kill and execute orders no matter what."

"What I'm saying is that I may have killed before but now I refuse to do it to people like you. No one tells me who to kill but me."

"What the hell are you saying Naruko. You said before that you kill or be killed."

"Shut it teme. I'm fully aware what I said at that time."

"Make me dobe."

"Tell me miss, what's your name."

"Hm, Uzumaki Naruko. And I vow to become the greatest kunoichi ever!" Naruko yelled while pointing to herself in pride. Haku could not laugh but laugh a little.

"You're one of a kind. I have faith you will be a great kunoichi someday." Haku said.

"**Kuchiyose: Doton: Tsuiga no Jutsu!" **yelled Kakashi.

From the ground comes Kakashi's ninken. Zabuza didn't have time to react as one of them bit down on Zabuza's leg. The rest of them, including Pakkun, followed suit and immobilized Zabuza.

"If you can't use your sight or hearing, then try your sense of smell." said Kakashi.

"Ugh." pained Zabuza.

"Oh good, the mist is clearing up. Which means you get to see how you're gonna die."

Kakashi forms a few hands seals to perform an old favorite involving his hand and blue lightning.

"_What the hell?! His chakra's so powerful it's visible!"_

Among the spectators (somewhat clear enough to see)…

"_What's that weird cackling sound?"_ simultaneously thought Sakura, Sasuke, and Haku.

"Holy crap we're actually gonna see Kakashi's **Raikiri**!" exclaimed Naruko.

"_What's the **Raikiri**?"_ thought both Sasuke and Haku.

"The **Raikiri** or **Chidori,** as most people know it is the only jutsu among Kakashi's arsenal that's original. I never thought I be lucky to see it." said Naruko in full battle craze mode.

"What's gonna happen?" asked Haku.

"I don't know except he'll die."

"What?" Haku had no time to spare as he used his mirrors to instantly appear in front of Zabuza just as Kakashi's **Raikiri **struck Haku. Coincidentally for him it barely missed any vital areas but his left arm will be useless for a while. Kakashi removes his arm from Haku's chest cavity while Haku coughed up blood before falling over.

"You said I'm gonna die Kakashi. Well Kakashi, you're wrong. As you can see I have plenty of life within me. Haku, even though you're rusted you're still useful."

"Thank you Zabuza." Haku fell asleep.

"Well then Kakashi, how about we finish up our duel." Replied Zabuza as he grabbed his blade.

"I guess I got no choice." Kakashi sighed as he readies his kunai.

Back there Sakura went over to Sasuke while Naruko looks at the fight between Kakashi and Zabuza in extreme interest.

"Man Sasuke, you look like my mom's pin cushion." chuckled Sakura.

"Just shut up and un-pin me Haruno." grumbled Sasuke as Sakura took off the needles.

"Quiet down you two! I'm trying to watch!" snapped Naruko.

"**Yeah, I don't get much entertainment in here you know."** yelled Kyuubi..

"_Your fault for coming close to Konoha." _thought Naruko.

"**Hey! Once I find that bastard I'll fucking rip him till he's nothing but shreds!" **Kyuubi roared.

"_Calm down! You're about to feed me your chakra."_

Zabuza and Kakashi though were trading blows with each other until…

"Guys, we have company!" yelled Naruko.

Indeed they did because on the unfinished end of the bridge stood Gato and co.

"Gato, what the hell are you doing here." growled Zabuza.

"Easy I came to clean up insurgents here on this stupid bridge." smirked Gato. And he talks the usual crap about his policy of hiring missing-nin and his plan of using the money he earns to fund some domination plan.

"Good god. You must be insane to try something as cliché like that." groaned Naruko.

"Stay out of this little girl and go hole and play with your dolls."

"First off, I never had a doll except my teddy bear. And second I'm more than a little girl. I'm one that can KICK YOUR ASS!" Naruko roared with a current of electricity surrounding her fist. "Hey Pinky and Emu-boy! If you want to join in go for it!"

"_Should I…"_ thought Sakura.

"_This should be fun."_ smirked Sasuke.

At that time Kakashi whacked her head. "Calm down. I'm surprised you haven't got killed yet."

"Itai…" Naruko clutched her head.

"Sorry little girl but Gato's mine." Zabuza growled before he runs into the crowd of hired goons and mauls his way to Gato.

"Gato, I don't care about what you're about to do because I plan to drag you down to hell myself! I'll show you why they call me the DEMON OF THE BLOODY MIST!" Zabuza cackled. With a few quick swipes he hacks Gato and throws him over the crowd where the now dead Gato split in pieces over the goons. "Now then, anyone else up for a one-way trip to hell."

The goons were about to run away from said demon when an arrow stopped them from their tracks.

"Heh, if you want to run try getting past us." smirked Inari along with the rest of the villagers armed to the core like an angry mob.

"Hey Inari! What took you so long!" yelled Naruko.

"A hero always shows up last." grinned Inari. Sakura and Sasuke, fueled with adrenaline, were ready to attack with their respective weapons.

"Well, since you guys gonna get involved I might as well. **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.**" Kakashi made about a platoon of Kakashis.

"Time to test out my new technique.** Raiton: Raimei Akuma!**" Naruko conjours a demon composed of lightning, capable of destruction. Seeing this the goons turned tail and jumped off the sides of the bridge.

"Idiots. Can't they tell a difference between a fake from a real one." Naruko sighed as she dispersed her technique.

A few days later life was reborn into Wave. Or at least until Naruko's influence reached the kids and half of Wave is covered in paint and itching powder. And also were the drinking contests between Zabuza, Kakashi, and Tazuna. Of course Tsunami, Sakura, and Haku were embarrassed, Inari was asleep during their drinking contests, Sasuke could care less, and Naruko was already used to it so she shrugged it off.

During the week…

"Hey Haku." said Naruko.

"What is it Naruko-san?" said Haku.

"What're you're gonna do now that Gato is at the bottom of the ocean."

"Well Zabuza said that if we can we can try to enlist as Konoha ninjas."

"That's great! I'll show you the ultimate place to get food!"

"That would be interesting."

A week later…

"Naruko-neesan, why do you have to leave so soon." cried Inari.

Naruko went over and patted him on the head. "Don't worry Inari, I'll come to visit and we'll have more fun."

"You promise?"

"Yeah!" she grinned with the nice guy pose. "Until then Inari , don't cry okay."

As the group made their way back to Konoha…

"That little girl may be strange but she sure help turn this place around. Heck she changed us for the better good. And she did helped us finish this bridge. You know what, maybe we should name it the Great Naruko Bridge." said Tazuna.

"Nah, let's called it the Great Uzumaki Bridge instead so she won't get all arrogant about it. Besides I think it sounds better." replied Tsunami.

"Yeah I guess you're right. Either way even though many stories will pass by the Land of Waves but her story is one that will never fade in time."

Meanwhile…

"Achoo!" sneezed Naruko.

"Anything wrong Naruko?" asked Sakura.

"Nah, someone must be talking about me."

* * *

A/N: And I'm done. Expect the next few chapters as filler and development. Remember to leave lots of reviews (8 will suffice) and I'll see you again cowboys. 

**Jutsu List:**

**Sensatsu Suishho (Thousand Water Needles of Death)**

**Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu (Water Clone Technique)**

**Hyoton: Makyo Hyo Sho (Ice Release: Demonic Ice Mirrors)**

**Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique)**

**Thunder Flare – Traps the enemy within a sphere of electricity**

**Lightning Fist – Concentrates electricity within your fist and slam it in the ground. Then immediately the target is struck with lightning. Essentially Ziggy's technique from _Xenosaga_**

**Raikiri (Lightning Edge)**

**Chidori (One Thousand Birds)**

**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)**

**Raiton: Raimei Akuma (Lightning Release: Thunder Demon) - Create a demon compose of lightning to both electrocute and obliterate your opponents. Naruko though used a fake one to prevent wasting chakra**


	6. Teaching, New Friends, and Liu Jun

A/N: Sorry it took so long but I had problems with this chapter and I had other stuff to do.

Anyways I am having Naruko help Hinata in a later chapter since that's how she is. Plus I got a good idea for her training and let's say swearing will fly like crazy. Naruko will also have a sparring partner in Tenten as well as a lackey/student. As for future chapters I do need time to plan out my Chunin Exams some more so I can plan out my characters more. After all I'm still 3 characters short for teams and they're important. All I can say for the other three is that two are unique in a sense and another is just fodder. In terms for pairings though I do need suggestions. No Sasuke since I have a new plan for him. The only confirmed pairing I have is Haku and Hinata (Thank you Dragon Man 180 for the idea!). Besides all that, thanks for the reviews and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own a copy of Rogue Galaxy. I don't own Naruto. I own Akari. I don't own Tenten.

Legend

"…normal…"

"…_thoughts…"_

"…**Kyuubi & Inner Voices talks/Jutsu**…"

"…_**Kyuubi thinks**…"_

* * *

**Chapter 6: Teaching, New Friends, and Liu Jun**

After a few twists and turns they reached Konoha.

"That took too long." complained Naruko.

"Either way I need to give my report to Hokage-sama. You two need to see him as well." said Kakashi.

"Whatever." Zabuza said bluntly. Haku followed them. As for the Genin…

"Sasuke-kun, you wanna do something together?" asked Sakura.

"No." Sasuke said flatly. Sakura feels dejected as Sasuke walks off to brood somewhere.

"Give it up Pinky. He's not worth chasing after so forget him." said Naruko.

"Says you, I'll keep trying if it kills me!" roared Sakura.

"**DAMN RIGHT!" **roared Inner Sakura.

"Jeez, the wonders of a girl in love." sighed Naruko.

"**Yeah, your love life is as plain as a rock." **remarked LD Naruko.

"Shut up devil."

"**It's true. At this rate you'll probably turn into a real tomboy who could pull hammers out of nowhere." ** remarked LA Naruko, though this time she's in black.

"**Yeah ironing board"** laughed Kyuubi.

"Will you guys….JUST! SHUT! THE! FUCK! UP!" roared Naruko into the heavens…or space for you scientific atheists.

"Who are you talking to?" said Sakura.

"My stupid tenant and my damn conscious!" snapped Naruko as she stormed off somewhere.

"…and I thought I'm the only one with voices in my head." sighed Sakura.

A little later…

"So I was like…" Naruko explains her trip to Wave to Iruka.

"I see Naruko. You know ever since you entered the academy you were always so quiet and shy and now you're energetic and cheerful. That teacher of yours must be great." smiled Iruka.

"Yeah when she's not drunk or training me. Besides that she is great."

"Well, I gotta go. I'll see you again Naruko."

"Bye Iruka-sensei! _Damn, I'm still hungry._"

"**And this is coming from the girl with a parallel universe for a stomach." **remarked Kyuubi.

"Ah Naruko-san, found you." said Haku as he walked over.

"Oh good Haku. _More ramen for me._"

A little later and 10 bowls later…

"So let me get this straight. You're, as of now, a Chunin/ Hunter-nin." Naruko said through a mouthful of noodles.

"Uh huh." nodded Haku.

"Why not Jonin?"

"I have the potential but they recommended that I should be a Chunin. If it wasn't for the fact that my record is clean I'd be with Zabuza now."

"And how's Boozie?"

"Boozie?"

"Zabuza."

"Oh well normally he'd be killed on the spot because he's an A-Rank Missing-nin, but with some clever 'convincing' (consists of killer intent, frozen spears, and good ol' zanbatou) he got a week in prison. Then as soon as he finishes his sentence he's appointed as a Jonin."

"Poor prisoners."

"Yeah, but things happen."

Indeed because at this very moment Zabuza just scared half the inmates just because they were too loud.

Back at the stand…

"So where are you going to live?" asked Naruko.

"Well, there's another stipulation. Not only does Zabuza have to serve his sentence but he'll be serving as your legal guardian. And since I go wherever Zabuza goes I'm living with you after my probation ends."

"Okay but my apartment is not that big and the only other room I have fits only one person. Unless…"

"DON'T. GO. THERE! Just why does everyone thinks we're a couple?"

"Maybe because you always hanging around him and that you're wearing a dress."

"IT'S NOT A DRESS! IT'S A MAN-SKIRT!"

A few days later…

"ZZZ." slept Naruko. Sakura went into her apartment to wake her up since a guy shouldn't barge into a girl's place uninvited, though it was far from being anyway feminine. She was disgusted by the state of her apartment (ramen cups, empty milk cartons that at least wasn't past the expiration date, and a few roaches) which she trashed it again after her return to Konoha. Going over her trashed floor she enters her room and while less disgusted she was still shocked by the fact that there's piles of clothes on the floor, scrolls lay opened and sprawled on a desk, various dummies of Sasuke and Kakashi, and a pile of cheap alarm clocks lay by a dent on the wall.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. CRASH, goes another alarm clock flying past Sakura's head and onto the heap.

"Goddamn alarm clock." muttered Naruko.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING!" yelled Sakura.

"Huh? What're in my room Pinky?" yawned Naruko and rubbing her eye while wearing an oversized shirt.

"Kakashi-sensei said to get ready in 10 minutes." ordered Sakura.

"But it's 7:30 am. Scarecrow won't be around until 10:00."

"I know he's down there."

Naruko heads out to her balcony to see Kakashi with his nose in Icha Icha Paradise Vol.8.

"So, he's early?"

"Uh huh."

"Give me three." Naruko grabbed her outfit and went into the bathroom. (insert a few crashes, running water, and numerous curses) She reappears out of the bathroom in her usual attire without bandages.

"How the hell did you dress and cleaned up so fast?" asked Sakura.

"You'll be surprised when your damn teacher threatens you with cold water, spiders, and forgotten memories only she has the nerve to bring up in public." growled Naruko. She also grabs her sitar.

Outside her apartment…

"Hello Naruko…" Kakashi got cut off as a sitar was swung across his face.

"Scarecrow is never early for anything! You must be an imposter!" Naruko slams her sitar some more.

"Stop it Naruko! I'm the real Kakashi!" pleaded Kakashi.

"LIAR!" roared Naruko.

"_Did the same to him."_ thought Sakura.

On the way to the Hokage Tower…

"As I was saying. I'm the real Kakashi." said Kakashi with bumps, bruises, and burn marks.

"Sorry." said a red Naruko, the red is not because of what she did but what Kakashi told to Naruko to prove he's the real deal.

"Why is it that every time I'm early everyone suspects that I'm an imposter." said Kakashi.

"Because you're never early." stated Sakura.

"And you also come up with cheap excuses (which at this point is running dry, for me) nobody will believe." said Naruko.

"Just shut up until we get a mission." said an emotionless Sasuke.

"The old man better give us a good mission. I refuse to catch a cat or dog-walking." Naruko said.

"Unlikely since you're Genin. Besides it's not like you're gonna teach Sex Ed or something." said Kakashi. (A/N: Done it already.)

"Quit complaining stupid." said Sasuke.

"Make me Emo-teme." said back Naruko.

"Blonde!"

"Uchiha brat!"

"Knuckle-headed idiot!"

"Sas-uke" Naruko place emphasis on the –uke.

"Flat-chested moron." Sasuke saying the current ultimate taboo to Naruko.

"**Flat-chested. Flat-chested. Flat-chested…"** echoed Kyuubi.

"DIE TEME!" yelled Naruko. Sasuke was about to attack but Kakashi stops them by holding both of them by their collars.

"Calm down you two." Kakashi ushered in trying to stop the both of them.

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" yelled both of them.

"_Sigh, at time like this I really wish I stayed with the ANBU."_ sighed Kakashi.

"_And yet no one's talking to me."_ sighed Sakura.

At the Hokage Tower…

"Grr." growled Naruko while Sasuke glared.

"Sigh, Hokage-sama what's the mission." sighed Kakashi.

"Since the two of you can't get along I might as well pair you up on a mission. You two will be filling in for Iruka at the academy as substitute teachers." said Sarutobi.

"WHAT?!" yelled both of them.

"You heard me. You'll be teaching the basics of ninjutsu while Iruka recovers from a bad cold." said Sarutobi.

"I refuse to work with a dead last like her." argued a stubborn Sasuke.

"I'll do it for Iruka-sensei but not for the duck right here." argued an equally stubborn Naruko.

"Who are you calling a duck idiot?"

"Who are you calling a dead last you damn chicken."

"Moron!"

"Dodo!"

"No-brained dead last!"

"Gay-ass prick!"

"Stop calling me gay you chest-less stooge!"

"**Chest-less. Chest-less. Chest-less…"** echoed Kyuubi and Naruko's conscious.

"THAT'S IT! RAI…" Naruko was cut off.

"ENOUGH!" Sarutobi yelled so loud that half of Konoha shook. "IF BOTH OF YOU DON'T COOPERATE THEN I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FORCED YOU TO STAY AS GENIN FOREVER WITH NO CHANCE AT PROMOTION AND YOU ARE FORCED TO DO D-RANKS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES! NO, I'LL FORCE YOU TO DO GUARD DUTY FOR ALL ETERNITY! NOW DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

"YES SIR!" addressed a scared shitless Naruko and Sasuke.

"_Permanent guard duty."_ Kakashi shudders.

"Good. As for you Sakura you'll be helping at the Yamanaka Flower Shop along with Yamanaka Ino and Aburame Shino." Sarutobi calmed down within a split second.

"What? I have to work with the pig?" argued Sakura.

"Are you questioning me?" said Sarutobi calmly with a vein sticking out of his head.

"No sir!" Sakura submitted.

"_Sigh, Jiraiya better come up with Icha Icha Violence soon or else I'll go insane." _Kakashi sighed for the third time today.

The Yamanaka Flower Shop…

"Okay Sakura. Your job today is to help me clean up shop, watering, and flower arrangement." said Ino.

"Alright."

"Okay then, now where's Shino."

"Right here." said Shino behind Ino which momentarily freaked her out.

"Damn it Shino! Don't do that!" shouted Ino.

"Just tell me what I'm supposed to do."

"Here's an apron. Help me with the fertilizer and the heavy work."

"Hai." Shino calmly said as he took the frilly pink apron and went out back.

"That guy creeps me out." muttered both Sakura and Ino.

At the academy…

"Yo I 'm Uzumaki Naruko." addressed Naruko.

"Hn." hned Sasuke.

"And this is the chicken. Take a look at the ruffled tail feathers and the scowl showing on his face…" Naruko was cut off as Sasuke punched the back of her head.

"Idiot. I'm Uchiha Sasuke." muttered Sasuke.

"_I'll get you for this._ Since Iruka-sensei isn't here today we'll be teaching the basics of ninjutsu. First up is the **Henge. ** This jutsu allows a person to transform into any object they can think of." Nobody is paying attention. "IDIOTS! PAY ATTENTION!"

"Hey Boss!" said Konohamaru.

"Huh? What Konohamaru."

"Show us a cooler jutsu like the **Oiroke no Jutsu**."

"**Oiroke no Jutsu**?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Don't bother duck. You already seen it Konohamaru."

"Yeah but we want to see it too." said a random student.

"YEAH!" yelled the whole class.

"Fine. **Oiroke no Jutsu**," Naruko transforms into her sexy self. A majority of the class was shocked at her display while Sasuke fainted from a massive blood loss.

"Holy crap! Uke is actually straight." said a surprised Naruko.

"Just what the hell is that?" yelled Sasuke who immediately regained consciousness.

"You see! If you play your cards right you can surprise the enemy and catch them off guard!" Naruko grinned.

"COOL!"

"What kind of stupid jutsu is that?" said an outraged Sasuke.

"The same stupid jutsu that apparently works on you."

"It's still stupid."

"Whatever. The next lesson is the **Bunshin no Jutsu**. This jutsu allows you to create copies of yourself. However the initial version can only confuse and distract the enemy while other versions can do much more. Uke here will demonstrate."

"You can't do a simple **Bunshin**? Pathetic." said Sasuke.

"Stuff it and perform it Uke. _Not like you can do **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**. _"

"Stop calling me that. **Bunshin no Jutsu.**" Sasuke creates about 5 copies.

"Cool!"

"_Damn._ Okay the last jutsu is the **Kawarimi no Jutsu**. This allows you to replace yourself for something else."

"What's good about that?" said another random student.

"Easy." Sasuke throws a few kunai at Naruko. She quickly replaces herself with the classroom plant.

"TEME! DON'T USE ME FOR TARGET PRACTICE!" yelled Naruko.

"Payback for calling me Uke." smirked Sasuke.

"Bastard, you're just begging for a fight. Are you?"

"Heh, like a flat-chested girl like you can defeat me."

"OOOOOOOH." oohed the whole class.

"DIE FUCKING TEME!" Naruko was about to draw her blade when the recess bell rang. The whole class scrambled out to outside, trampling Naruko in the process. Sasuke avoids the mob.

"Damn it…" growled Naruko.

Kyuubi though was laughing his ass off.

At the Yamanaka Flower Shop…

"Damn it forehead! You're doing it wrong!" yelled Ino.

"I know what I'm doing Pig!" yelled Sakura.

As you can see (or read for that matter) both of them are arguing over flower arrangement. Eventually Shino got annoyed and calmly went over to the arguing duo.

"If you're not going to decide then I'll do it." said Shino.

After a few arrangements…

"WOW! IT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL!" yelled an amazed Ino.

"YEAH SHINO! I NEVER KNEW YOU CAN DO FEMININE STUFF LIKE THIS!" yelled an equally amazed Sakura.

"Forget it. Forget that you ever saw me do this." threatened Shino close-up. His eyes would be narrowed but because of the sunglasses well…

"Uh okay." trembled Ino.

"Yeah." Sakura did the same.

"Good. I got more fertilizer to pack." Shino went out back.

"_That guy both scare and surprises me." _ thought both Ino and Sakura.

Outside…

"Damn Sasuke. Damn Duck. Damn Uke. DAMN! HIM! TO! HELL!" Naruko gritted her teeth in anger as she hacks away at a poor tree with her blade (said tree sweatdropped).

"Ano, Naruko-san?" said Hinata who wandered over.

"WHAT IS IT?!" yelled Naruko.

"I'm sorry!" Hinata cowered.

"Oh, sorry. Um who exactly are you?" asked Naruko.

"I-m Hyu-Hyuuga Hinata." stammered Hinata.

"You're a Hyuuga? You don't strike me as snobbish, rude, (goes on and on), with a stick as far up their asses so that they move with the agility of a pregnant cow (not literally but you get the idea.)."

"_Damn, she's good. _They're not that bad. Some of the members are actually nice."

"Whatever works for you. So tell me, are you substituting for a teacher too?"

"Yes, I'm actually filling in for Katsuragi-sensei for History."

"_Ugh, history."_

"**Useless subject if you ask me. Unless it involves some war it's all useless drabble to me."** Kyuubi voiced his opinion.

(A/N: Never did like history, except WWI and WWII. Too much memorizing, reading, and essay questions.)

"Personally I like the subject. Especially…" Hinata rambles on about the wonders of useless history. Naruko manages to stop her in the middle of _The Complete History of the Nidame Hokage: Everything from Water Jutsu to Drunken Rampages_.

"Okay okay. I get the point. History is great. Almost forgot. Let me introduce myself. I'm Uzumaki Naruko. So tell me about yourself."

"Um I like senzai (soft bean jam), cinnamon rolls, and kindness. (**"She probably likes girls.")** I dislike pain, people who cause pain to others, and eating crabs. (**"Hate boys…cough…Inuzuka…cough."**). My hobbies include flower pressing, training myself, and reading. (**"…cough…cough…lookingatgirls…cough…"**) And my dreams include making tousan and the clan proud of me and to be a great medic-nin so I can help those in need. (**"Hook up with Ironing Board and do the 69."**)

"_That's not cool. And what's the 69?" _Naruko thought. Kyuubi explain the 69 position in the most perverted way possible. Needless to say Naruko was as red as a Coke can. _"I DID NOT NEED TO HEAR THAT!"_

"**Embarrassed are we. I bet you want to try it on her."**

"_I'M FREAKING STRAIGHT!"_

"**Yeah you're right. YOU'RE BI!" **

"_SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GODDAMN FOX!"_

"**Let's face it. You want her now."**

"_You're saying that to satisfy your perverted desires."_

"**Not interested in little girls. If you were older though…" **Kyuubi let out a perverse laugh.

"_I give up."_

"Are you okay Naruko?" asked Hinata.

"Uh yeah. I'm just having one of my moments. Anyways compared to the rest of the stuck-up Hyuugas you're alright. Let's be friends."

"Okay."

"Neesan! Watch out!" said a random student as a kunai flies toward Naruko. Without even looking at it she catches it with two fingers. Then with no effort at all she throws it at a target dead center. The group of students who were practicing throwing kunai immediately shifted their focus towards Naruko.

"WOW! AWESOME!" the students said.

"Huh? Damn, either I'm good or teach is a better teacher than I thought. Nah, I'm just good." Naruko smirked, obviously having a high opinion of herself.

Meanwhile…

"Why do I have this feeling that I should've driven my idiot student harder." said Sensei on top of some mountain while drinking sake with a saucer.

Back at the academy Naruko shuddered.

"Is there's something wrong Naruko-san?" asked Hinata.

"I just have this sudden premonition that my teacher gonna drive me harder someday." Naruko shivered which confused Hinata.

"Neesan. Cool looking sword." said a random student who came over in a group.

"You mean this?" She holds her blade.

"Interesting blade. While it may look like a regular kodachi it's made from a unique type of metal that has a high melting point, durable, and fairly light. It's a good blade." analyzed a certain girl whose hair is tied into buns.

"Um thanks? Who're you?"

"I'm Tenshi Tenten and I'm subbing for the weapon instructor. Nice to meet you." greeted Tenten. Naruko though takes a good look at her.

"_I can't help it but she looks very familiar. Just where…_ARGH! IT'S TOO TROUBLESOME TO THINK!" Naruko roared.

"Is there something wrong?" asked Tenten.

"No, I was just having another moment. Anyways I'm Uzumaki Naruko. So tell me about yourself."

"Well, I like weapons and Chinese food. I hate kunoichi who focus on looks rather than skill and experience and umeboshi. My hobbies include Astrology and refining my weapons. And my dream is to become a great kunoichi like Tsunade-sama."

(A/N: The reason why Kyuubi haven't said anything is because I got nothing. I'll do it later when I have more material.)

"Who's Tsunade?"

"Tsunade…" Hinata begins to tell the whole history of Tsunade, minus stuff like her 'great valleys' if you get my drift, status as the Legendary Sucker, and a deficit big enough to buy Konoha and then some.

(A/N: If history has ever taught us anything it's that it leaves out the more incriminating details. And for some reason they always make it sound more glorious than it suppose to be.)

"_My head hurts. _I get it Hinata. She's great." said Naruko.

"**_Where the hell did I heard of her? And I have a feeling that there's too many holes in her history."_** pondered Kyuubi.

"If she's that great then it means that when I beat her it'll feel so much better when I become the greatest kunoichi ever." said Naruko.

"You won't beat her. She's the best. Besides if you're gonna beat her you have to go through me." said a confident Tenten.

"Is that a challenge?" grinned Naruko. "If it is then I accept!"

Naruko grips her kodachi while Tenten brought out her scroll. But before they can do anything Sasuke, sitting on a branch of the poor tree, pelts Naruko with a pebble.

"Ow. Damnit Uchiha. What the hell was that for?" said Naruko.

"Recess is over. Time to go back to teaching." said Sasuke.

"Damn. Well Tenshi, want to finish this another time?"

"Count on it Uzumaki."

While both of them unleash their own aura (Naruko is dark red while Tenten is blue) Hinata's glad that both of them aren't fighting. As for Inner Hinata…

"**STUPID UCHIHA! I WANTED TO SEE THEM FIGHT!" **roared Inner Hinata.

(A/N: I'm making the relationship between Tenten and Naruko like this. They'll be good friends normally while when they're fighting each other they're like fierce rivals.)

Anyways…

"**Henge**!" said a random student as he transformed into Sarutobi.

"Good. Next!" said Sasuke. Naruko was bored since all they were doing is transforming into the old man and Naruko was hoping for some variety.

"**Henge**!" said another student (female) who unfortunately is the dead last of the class. (Not as bad as Naruto back then but bad nonetheless.). And unfortunately she screws up (Not as bad as Naruto back then but bad nonetheless.) by making him look more god awful (Not as bad as…ah forget it.). Needless to say the whole class laughed.

"Ahahahaha! That girl always cracks me up!" laughed a student.

"I know! I'm so glad I have this class!" laughed another.

"_I think I found another prankster." _thought Naruko.

Unfortunately for Naruko she wasn't joking.

"Damn! Why can't I do anything?" said girl as she ran off.

While they laugh Naruko appeared next to Konohamaru.

"Yo Konohamaru. Is there something wrong with her?" said Naruko.

"Huh? Oh she usually does this. If you want to learn more about her ask Moegi. She usually hangs out with her." said Konohamaru.

"And who's that?" Konohamaru pointed to a girl next to him with orange-red hair in ponytails (at least I think they're ponytails). Naruko turns her attention to her.

"Well her name's Tsukiakari (Moonlight) of the Daichi clan but we call her Akari for short." said Moegi.

"Dachi clan? She's one of those over-obsessive narcissistic freaks?"

"Nope. She's just have a lot of confidence but somehow she never actually pulls it off. But she's a real nice person."

"**Sounds like you kit."**

"_You mean that I'm a nice person?"_

"**No, the overconfidence."**

"_Since when I'm overconfident?"_

"**Shimoyake, betting against your teacher, a certain sparring match, and her obstacle course."**

"_First of all that damn obstacle course was a real pain to get across _(A/N: Think of Stage Three from the show SASUKE or Ninja Warrior in the US on G4TV. If you don't know the show, then picture it as really hard.) _and second I did win against her in those bets."_

"**That because she hustled you and that's not winning stupid."**

"_Shut up. _(denial). Alright, I'm gonna talk with her. Watch over the class Uke and here." She tosses him a scroll. Sasuke reads and reveals:

Change of plans. You're doing your strip tease a week from now. And bring along handcuffs and a police outfit.

"Damn. I forgot." Sasuke dreading that day. He also forgot that the scroll was her exploding glue and feather scroll (it's too obvious to write what he looks like.). _"I'll fucking kill her!"_

Meanwhile…

"Haa!" Akari yells as she throws kunai at a target on a tree. Numerous kunai are stuck to them but not one is close to the bulls-eye.

"You know if you relax your shoulders and concentrate and aim you can probably hit that target." said Naruko sitting on the tree where the target is.

"Huh?" She looks at Naruko and tries to follow her advice. She throws it and it was off by half an inch. For her standards it's a huge success. "Wow, I've never got that close to the center before! Thank you but why did you help me?" asked Akari.

"Easy, You're like me but more confident and a total dead last." Naruko laughed.

"Please don't say dead last. I'm really sick of people saying that." Akari said in a pleading tone.

"But it's true. Besides, compared to me you're worse than me!" Naruko laughed again, unaware that she took pride in being less a dead last than Akari.

"_Is she for real?"_

"**_Okay, what defense mechanism involves acceptance, weird sense of humor, and negative thoughts of dead last?"_** thought Kyuubi as he dwells into psychology.

(A/N: I don't know either and I'm taking Psychology. I really should get some sleep.)

"Alright, enough of that. So tell me about yourself."

"Well, I like any type of sour soup, especially this one recipe in Khmer cuisine (I completely forgot what it's called. Though I do like it sour.), and games that require a keen sense of observation and thinking. I hate being called a dead last and anything with a strong smell. My hobbies include sleeping, finding ways to earn cash, and daydreaming. And my dream is more of a desire and that is to prove that I can do things WITHOUT the support of the clan."

"Do you hate them or something? I mean they may be narcissistic bastards but family is still family."

"I couldn't care less about them."

"So you're just freeloading off of them."

"Just until I can earn an income and move out. So, do you have family?"

"Nope. I live alone until a friend of mine's probation ends."

"Damn."

"I know what you're thinking and I can't feed you. Just stick with your family for now."

"Okay but you got to help me train."

"When I'm open I will. In the meantime you're gonna help me with something a week from now. You can make some money out of it."

"???"

The next day…

"So how was it?" asked Sarutobi.

"Shino is weird." said Sakura with a deadpan expression on her face.

"I hate Naruko ever so much." growled Sasuke.

"Its okay." replied Naruko.

After that…

"Yo Pinky!" approached Naruko.

"What?" said back Sakura.

"Do you happen to have a full list of all the members of the Sasuke Fan Club?"

"Why?"

"I need it and you just happen to be co-president of the club."

"It would be president if the damn voters voted for me more."

"Ookay…so do you have it?"

"Here's both the females and males of the club."

"_Uke has male members too? Hehehehehe…"_

"**Okay, I'm knocking myself out before I see what does happen."**

Four days later…

"My god Boozie. cough cough. You can't even boil water? cough cough." coughed Naruko as she heads outside to escape the smoke.

"Shut up brat!" yelled Zabuza through his mask. "And stop calling me that!"

"No offense Zabuza-san but you're the first person in life to actually burn water and make it pitch black." admitted Haku.

"Grr…SHUT UP YOU TWO BEFORE I BRING OUT ZABBIE!"

"Zabbie?"

"Don't ask."

The inevitable day…

"OH MY GOD!"

"WOO! SASUKE-KUN LOOKS SO HOT!"

"SHOW US YOUR TIGHT ASS BABY!"

"TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!"

"STRIP! STRIP! STRIP!"

"_Note to self: Never bet with Uzumaki again."_ Sasuke thoughts as he was forced to perform a striptease in front of the whole fan club (and I mean WHOLE fan club) while in a police suit while having a **Henge **on to make him look older (take a guess), with Naruko's instructions, and at the same time giving them a show with dance moves that rose the temperature of the room and enough blood to open a blood bank. While Sasuke takes off his coat to reveal muscles that women will drool over...

"Okay , 1600 ryo a ticket and 50 heads.That makes 80000 ryo." calculated Akari.

"Yes, Liu Jun done well hasn't she." said 'Liu Jun' who's actually Naruko in a character of a Chinese merchant (complete with Chinese style robes and round sunglasses) who speaks in third person.

(A/N: I'm not mocking the Chinese. Hell I'm Chinese.)

"Why are you calling yourself Liu Jun Naruko-neesan."

"Because it's not often I get to become Liu Jun."

"I better get my cut." Akari replied. After having to go to a SFC meeting and avoiding a pit bull she definitely wants to get paid.

"Don't worry. Liu Jun always pays Liu Jun's lackeys well when they work hard."

"_She may be weird but she pays well."_ Akari thought as she takes her 35 percent.

* * *

A/N: And there's another form of Naruko: third person speaking Chinese merchant Liu Jun. The chapter seems pointless but it's good for now. Leave lots of reviews and later cowboys. **Jutsu list:**

**Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique)**

**Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique)**

**Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique)**

**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)**

**Kawarimi no Jutsu (Replacement Technique)**


	7. Naruko, Swordsmanship, and Punishment

A/N: Wow, it's been a while hasn't it. (I blame classes, Dynasty Warriors, Ikki Tousen, GTO, Bleach…I have no life and I don't care) Well, time for the usual stuff. I ain't revealing anything yet about Naruko and Tsunade except that there will be similarities, and it's more than their bad luck. Also while yuri is implied, there are no yuri pairings. Besides if I'm going to do that I'll do it in a separate story, most likely lemon. And I got my Chunin Exams and finals planned out so expect that fairly soon. As for this chapter, I'm not totally satisfied with it and it deviates from my original plan. So read, criticize, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I'm broke and don't own Naruto.

Legend

"…normal…"

"…_thoughts…"_

"…**Kyuubi & Inner Voices talks/Jutsu**…"

"…_**Kyuubi thinks**__…"_

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Naruko, Art of Swordsmanship, and Sensei's Form of Punishment**

Since the striptease Sakura and the rest of the SFC just need to fulfill one more goal in their lives, Sasuke just put Naruko on the top of his Enemies List (includes Tora the Cat, fangirls, SFC fanboys and squirrels) next to Itachi, and Naruko is more mixed since while she made a good amount of cash on Sasuke (without him knowing) she also has to endure Zabuza's drinking and apparent lack of household skills.

For example, three days since the inevitable…

"Boozie. I can understand that you can't cook something without it being labeled a Level 4 Biohazard. But HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO WASH DISHES?!" yelled Naruko.

"SHUT UP BRAT! IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS!" yelled back Zabuza who broke a stack of dishes.

"HOW IS IT HARD? YOU SOAK IT IN WATER, SCRUB WITH A SPONGE AND SOAP, RINSE, DRY, AND STACK. YOU'RE A FREAKING JONIN FOR GOD'S SAKES!"

"I SAID SHUT UP BRAT!"

"I'm just glad I know how to do any form of housework." said Haku.

"How's that?"

"First off they're not hard to do. And second if I didn't learn how to cook then we be eating nothing soldier pills and military rations."

"_Ugh. Rations."_

"**You know. If technology has advanced this much then how come they haven't made pills and rations that TASTE GOOD?"**

"Hey, I can cook! I can roast meat."

"Yeah, just that. Though you can cook a mean crocodile."

"You serious Haku?"

"Somehow if it involves a roast he'll do well at it."

And again Zabuza broke more dishes.

"AGAIN BOOZIE?! YOU'RE SO USELESS!"

"YOU WANT TO SAY THAT IN FRONT OF MY FACE YOU FLAT-CHESTED BRAT!"

"YOU WANT TO SAY THAT IN FRONT OF MY FACE YOU USELESS FREAK OF NATURE!"

"Now now, there's no need to resort to violence." said the mediator Haku, trying to make sure both of them don't kill each other…again.

Yup. Life at the Uzumaki/Momochi/Haku apartment is as hectic as hell.

Two weeks and 10 D-rank missions later…

"Damn dog." coughed a gray Naruko, whose dog led her into an active mine field.

"You got lucky." said Sakura who had bite marks, scratches, and covered in drool.

"_Note to self: Add dogs to Enemies List."_ thought Sasuke who had it worse.

"Well I see my team has finished their mission huh?" said Kakashi behind his book.

"Stuff it Kakashi." said both Naruko and Sakura.

"Alright since we're out of D-rank missions for today you can all go home now. Except for you Naruko, I need to speak to you." said Sarutobi.

As soon as Sasuke, Kakashi, and Sakura heads out…

"Now then. Normally we don't usually do this but we'll have to make an exception. At this time we're assigning you a B-rank mission. You, Tenshi Tenten, and a Tokujo (too lazy to write out full rank) named Gekiretsu Kengeki (Furious Sword Play) are to escort a merchant named Arakawa Hojo to Amegakure."

"Ugh, Ame. Last time I was there it took me two week to navigate that huge jungle before I ended up in Suna. And it got worse…wait a minute. A B-rank?"

"Under normal circumstances we wouldn't even allow a Genin to go on a B-rank. However our client would rather have swordsmen and we don't have many practitioners of the sword."

"What about ANBU?"

"We really can't spare them. So do you accept?"

"First off, why is it a B-rank?"

"Apparently Hojo made some deals with various members of various yakuza and let's say they were less than pleased."

"Drug trafficking? Contraband? Illegal weapons? Cheap porn?"

"Cheap hair formula and other junk with short term effects."

"That doesn't explain the B-rank."

"Well apparently he also made bad deals with some high ranking officials of other countries and they hired ninja to take him out."

"If that's how it is then it means there are plenty of strong enemies in the mission. I ACCEPT!"

"You sure?"

"NARUKO NEVER TURNS DOWN A CHALLENGE!" yells Naruko, holding up a pose.

"Okay then. The mission officially starts a few days from now. Just be careful."

"Alright old man."

Outside…

"So Naruko. What did Hokage-sama said?" asked Kakashi.

"He's assigning me a B-rank along with Tenshi, Boozie, and some guy named Kengeki." said Naruko.

"You got a B-rank?" exclaimed Kakashi and Sakura.

"How the hell did the dobe get a B-rank?" said Sasuke.

"Because Uke, I'm the only one among us who can use a sword, well probably Kakashi."

"_If I can be as strong as her maybe I can impress Sasuke-kun."_ thought Sakura.

"_If she got a B-rank over me then it means I got weaker! Damn it, how am I supposed to beat Itachi if I cannot surpass a weak ninja like Naruko." _thought Sasuke.

"_Well, at least I won't get a face full of wood for a while." _thought Kakashi.

When Naruko went to her apartment she saw a note posted on her door. She takes it and read.

_Yo brat,_

_I've been assigned to observe your fighting style more. Normally I'd accompany you but because I still have three weeks of probation left I'm stuck here doing God-knows-what you damn Konoha ninja calls D-rank. Meet me at your training ground at 3:00 today. And bring cat nip._

_Zabuza_

_P.S. Revenge is a bitch._

"Huh?" The note glows for a bit before it explodes. However it wasn't a normal explosion as it was one of her stink bombs that Zabuza borrowed without asking. Saying that Naruko is royally pissed is an understatement. "I'LL FUCKING KILL THAT EYEBROWLESS FREAK!"

"**WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

"**NO, WAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

Meanwhile…

"Sweet sweet revenge." grinned Zabuza.

"_I will never understand his revenge schemes."_ thought Haku.

Coincidentally Naruko always carries remedies for her pranks in case if she gets caught in the crossfire. And so she stormed into her shower and came out smelling of lilacs and floral green shampoo. Unfortunately her outfit will take a while to disinfect (at least until laundry day) and so she has to wear something of Haku's.

"I still don't see why he calls it a man-skirt. It's still a dress." said Naruko.

Meanwhile…

"Grr." growled Haku.

"Did somebody insult your dress again?" asked Zabuza.

"IT'S A MAN-SKIRT!"

"Whatever."

At the apartment…

"I don't see why Haku dresses like a girl. I swear he needs a heavy dose of therapy."

"**Did you forget about the stink bomb?" **

"Huh…DIE ZABUZA!" Naruko charges through Konoha like a raging rhino and knocking through anything that gets into her way. That includes carts, cabbages ("My cabbages!"), Hinata ("Narukooo!" her voice trails off as she coincidentally lands in the Hyuuga complex), Shino ("Hmm, so this is what it's like to fly like a bug.") and Akari ("WHEEEEE!" as Akari soars into the air and into a pillow stand.). Once she reaches there she sees Zabuza relaxing with a bottle of sake.

"About time you got here. Anyways let's start with a sparring match. You go first." declared Zabuza.

"RWAR!!!" roared the raging blonde with death in her eyes, charging at Zabuza with her blade.

"Pissed are we." Zabuza retaliates with the hilt of his blade. Naruko flies back while clutching her stomach. "A ninja never shows their emotions. A swordsman never let their emotions get the better of them. You know better than that."

"_If I was a guy and it was aimed lower I'd be dead by now. _Oh shut up Boozie." Naruko calmed down and went into her normal stance. Naruko then rushed in and aimed low for his legs and swung. Zabuza dodges by jumping over it and swinging his sword at Naruko's head. Naruko nearly panics and rolls out of its way. "Damn it Boozie. Are you trying to kill me?"

"You never learn if you don't risk your life. After all a sword is a weapon used to kill. If you're not gonna kill then what you're going to use the sword for?"

"I use the sword to…what do I use my sword for?"

"**Idiot. After 3 and possibly a quarter of a year you still don't know what you use your sword for?"**

"_Shut up fox. I'm still learning here and unlike you I'm still young."_

"**Nice try kit. I'm fully aware I'm over a few thousand years old. That's eternal youth for you. As soon you hit crippling old age I'd be as young as 25 laughing at your ass. Wahahahaha!"**

"_Tasteless humor."_

"You mean you use a sword and you don't know why you use it?"

"Huh? Oh no."

"Well, at least you can use one. Still without some sort of purpose you're just swinging your sword like a show-off." Zabuza swings his sword, almost beheading Naruko.

"Watch where you're aiming!"

"Did anybody tell you to never hesitate in a fight?"

"It's not a fight. And my teacher did teach me not to hesitate. Compared to her though you're a saint."

"How so? I'm the Demon of the Mist. I killed a graduating class without hesitation."

"She stuck me on a mountain when I was eight for a month with nothing but a knife. She kicked me off an arch as training. She stuck daggers under my arms while making me lift 20 pounds on each hand. SHE…"

"I get it. Now let's continue."

Zabuza continues his assault with a sideward chop that Naruko evades easily. He follows with another swipe that she ducked. As Zabuza utilizes a barrage of downward chops and side cuts Naruko reminisces one of her lessons her teacher taught her.

Flashback…

"Okay Naruko, pay attention. The zanbatou is an oversized swords supposedly used in ancients times to kill both horses and their riders at the same time. However a weapon as huge as one has weaknesses. First off because of their weight and size they're extremely slow and have only two attack options: downwards or across." said Sensei.

"ZZZ." slept Naruko, standing up while leaning on her training blade.

"PAY ATTENTION MAGGOT!" boomed Sensei.

"Huh?"

"NOW LISTEN! Just because the zanbatou is slow and unnecessary to use doesn't mean that the wielder is not aware. Usually those who use them supplement it with other abilities."

"ZZZ."

"THAT'S IT! **BYAKURAI**!"

"EYAH!" screamed Naruko as she was shot with a bolt of lightning shot from her teacher's forefinger.

End flashback…

Using what she learned minus the second part of that lesson Naruko dodged a side swipe with a spin. Taking advantage of the spin she accelerates the force of her blade, dodging Zabuza's attack, and shifting into a counterattack. In other words…

"**Ryu Kan Sen**!" yells Naruko.

(A/N: I'll have her learn a few Hiten Mitsurugi moves but not the whole thing since she doesn't have the body type to utilize Hiten Mitsurugi, i.e. Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki, fully. Besides, it seems too easy to have her learn it completely.)

While it looks like she'll connect Zabuza simply blocks with his two fingers.

"What the?"

"Nice try gaki but you should know well enough how a zanbatou user supplements his zanbatou with other abilities to cover the weaknesses." Zabuza follows with a swift knee strike to the gut. "Also you're too slow in your counterattack. Hiten Mitsurugi is a lost art that pits one against many and relies on extreme skill and godlike speed. Where did you learn that technique though?"

"I read it somewhere. (**"Stole it."**) Teach wouldn't teach me though. Said something like

'Muscles just don't look good on me. I rather stay slim, young, and sexy.' and 'Slacking off deshi? **AOI IKAZUCHI**!' Mind you I should sue her for child abuse and cruel and unusual punishment."

"Nah, you never get any money off of it in this society. Also you're neglecting that the kodachi is also known as the shield sword."

"Shield sword?"

Flashback…

"If you're going to use the kodachi you got to remember that because of its relatively small size it can be drawn quickly. Thus, it could be used as something of a shield, while using a form of hand to hand combat to attack." said Sensei.

"ZZZ." slept Naruko.

"**Suiton: Haizen Doshaburi**!" yells Sensei as she cast a gigantic downpour concentrated over Naruko.

"EYAH!" screamed Naruko as she got buried under a torrent of water.

End Flashback…

"Oh."

"Besides I still don't understand your style at all. Just what do you use?"

"If I start using another kodachi, Kodachi nito-ryu. Otherwise my main style is my version of Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu (better known as Anything Goes Martial Arts), or at least its philosophy."

"And what's that?"

"To observe, learn, and adapt different styles and taking what works and discarding what doesn't."

"You know, if you're gonna try something like that you do need more variety in your sword style."

"I know. Sis said that too and she allowed me to leave early, though she did it unconventionally."

Flashback…

"I'll see you again sis!" waved an 11-year old Naruko.

"By the way, if you can dodge my thunderstorm then you pass my evasion test." said Sensei.

"WHAT TEST?!"

"Here we go. **Raiton: Raiu no Jutsu**!"

Sensei casts a thunderstorm over her mountain. Then bolts of lightning begin to strike, forcing Naruko to run for her young life while Kyuubi does the usual laughing his ass off at his vessel.

"BUT I'M NOT READY!" cried Naruko as she frantically tries to dodge every lightning bolt shot at the ground.

End Flashback…

"Besides all that here." She tosses cat nip to Zabuza. "What's the cat nip for anyways?"

"That damn cat Tora." Zabuza growled while Naruko laughs her ass off. "SHUT UP!"

"NO, HAHAHAHA!"

Over the next two days Naruko has to wear Haku's taste in clothes (second day being Laundry Day). If she was older though she'd have fanboys and yuri fangirls trailing her. For now though she really wants to get out of them on the account that they really feel "too feminine." And apparently those who complemented her gone airborne (eventually Akari will love the joys of flying).

The next day…

"So who are these brats?" asked Hojo, a middle-aged man, clearly balding but accepts that fact.

"They are your escort." stated Kengeki, a man of 25 who carries a curved dao with a disc shaped guard on his belt with a kris dagger on the back of his pants. Notable traits include a scar running down his left eye and tribal tattoos on his left arms. "Despite how they look they are a whole lot better with blades than half the ANBU we have. By the way, I'm Gekiretsu Kengeki but call me Ken. "

"I'm Tenshi Tenten."

"Uzumaki Naruko."

"Couldn't they do better? I mean you (Ken) look like a regular no-good thug, you (Tenten) look like you should stick to dress up, and you (Naruko) look like some cheap- ass wannabe swordsman." insulted Hojo. Ken remains motionless, Tenten glares for being treated like a little girl. And Naruko growls in anger.

"**Hey, be glad he didn't insult you for being flat-chested."**

"And not only that but she's about as flat as a rock."

"**I take that back pechapai **(small breasts or in Naruko's case flat-chested, either way it can mean both)**."**

"I'LL MUTILATE HIM! _AND EVENTUALLY YOU AS WELL FOX!_" roared Naruko as she was held back by Ken while Tenten holds her blade.

"I heard from Hokage-sama that you over-react to anybody who insults your apparent lack of 'assets'. He also told me to do whatever it takes to make sure our client's body is not attached by wires if you get my drift. So this is what I'll do. If you don't calm down I will have to cut your pay in half. And I do have blackmail material I can sell to the Uchiha brat if you get my drift." Ken threatened in a calm matter. _"Why the hell did I accept a mission with the Tenshi and Kyuubi brat?"_

"_I don't care if he tells the Pigeon Head. I'm more worried if he knows about that other stuff." _submitted Naruko with a twinge of worry.

"_Are they really ninja?" _thought Hojo.

"_There's something about her blade that seems familiar." _thought Tenten.

"_**That guy reminds me about Hachi. The only difference is that Hachi's more freaking scary when she blackmails someone." **_thought Kyuubi.

"In either case we better get moving. Usually it takes two days to reach Amegakure and additional hours to navigate the rainforest. But our client has to make stops so it'll take much longer." said Ken.

"Might as well. I still have this from last time." Naruko slumped as she walked, holding up an oversized machete.

Along the way Hojo stopped at a town to do business and Ken went to observe him for reasons explained later…

"Since both of them aren't around how about we have that match that the Uchiha postponed." said Tenten.

"I accept Tenshi. Besides, I've been looking forward to this for a while." Naruko grinned. "So, what are the rules?"

"No fatal blows, one-hit, anything goes. No time limit."

"Just how I like it. We'll start when this coin hits the ground."

"_**This should be interesting."**_

Naruko throws a coin high in the air while drawing her beloved blade and goes into a regular stance while Tenten takes a sword drawing stance. Both look ready to strike. Then as soon as the coin falls and hits the ground both combatants rushed to attack. Because Naruko has more leg training she's quicker than Tenten and so she makes the first strike. Tenten though blocks it easily with a sword draw of her own.

"I can see you're quick but your swing is far too slow. And because of that you leave an opening!" Tenten takes advantage by breaking off their hold and swings again, this time aiming for Naruko's side. Naruko dodges while twisting her body and sheathing her sword. Then as she done a few days ago she uses her **Ryu Kan Sen**. Tenten merely blocks again. "I keep telling you Uzumaki, you swing too slow."

"_She's right. Damn, next time I'm training my swings and less on my legs." _Naruko kicks her blade away and jumps back. This time around though she's going for a different style so she brings out her sheath and holds it in her left hand. _"I may be crazy for trying this but I don't plan to lose against her."_

"_Her kodachi in her right hand and her sheath in her left. Just what is she's trying to do?" _Tenten makes the move and strikes Naruko. Naruko blocks with her left and attacks with the right, but she does it so simple it seems too predictable. Tenten dodges and attacks again and Naruko blocks with both. It kinda repeats itself for a while._ "She blocks with her left and attacks with her right in a repeating patter. Because of that I can tell which arm she'll attack and defend as soon as she moves. And because of that she leaves a wide opening."_

From there Tenten rushed in and swings downward. Naruko jumps to avoid it and twist her body in the motion to swing with her right. From there Tenten swings upwards but Naruko blocks with her right.

"What?" exclaimed Tenten.

"Damn, I didn't think that would work." Naruko admitted. From behind Naruko's shadow clone appears and holds Tenten while pointing the back end of her blade against Tenten. "I win Tenshi."

"On normal circumstances yes but," Tenten bursts in a puff of smoke to reveal a **Kawarimi**. Tenten emerges and puts Naruko in a half nelson while holding her blade against Naruko. She also dispelled the clone with a kunai. ", in this case I'm the victor."

"Nice one, although you really should pay attention to your left." Tenten looks to her left to see another of Naruko's shadow clone with her blade ready to thrust into Tenten's skull. "My guess is that it's a draw."

"I guess." Tenten lets go of her half nelson hold on Naruko and her blade away from Naruko. Naruko dispels her clone and both combatants relaxed a bit before facing each other again. "So Uzumaki, next time we have a spar we make it pure sword fighting. None of our ninja prowess, just a pure duel likes the samurai of old. "

"Fine by me. And by the time of our next sparring match I'll have new moves as well as brought up my swing by then Tenshi. Unless you become weaker by then to the point that I beat your ass to the ground."

"Not a chance Uzumaki. Because by then I'll be strong enough to cut off your goddamn tongue by then."

"Let's see you try that after I hack off your limbs." (A/N: They're not that serious but you get the point.) Both of them are grinning insanely at each other with the background of roaring flames burning brightly to show how serious they're willing to beat each other.

Within the shadows…

"_Interesting, guess there's more to the Kyuubi-gaki than some demon capable of more destruction. And that Tenshi girl, while still has a lot of ways to go, is just like her older sister. It's a good thing though that her personality is completely different from her." _thought Ken as he remembers more…scary moments with her.

"WHO'S THERE!" yells Naruko as she throws a kunai in the general direction of Ken. When it hit though it was just a shadow clone. The real Ken…

"_I see. Maybe I should have a match with the Kyuubi-gaki. Maybe she can learn a thing or two as I beat her down with an inch of her life."_

At that moment a pigeon lands in top of his head. Said pigeon stuck out its leg with a note attached. Ken takes it and reads it as the pigeon flies off. The note just says a short line:

_Show my mercy._

"Geez, even though she's miles away she's just as bossy as ever. Fine, I'll leave her half-dead." he remarked. He also throws a kunai at a random yakuza in the shadows.

Days later at Ame's rain forest…

"ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY?" yells Hojo as they navigated the maze of trees for the last three hours.

"NO! NOW STOP ASKING!" yelled back Naruko, itching to use her machete on him rather than vegetation.

"Don't kill him. He's not worth it." Ken said, hiding the fact that he wants to kill him too.

"Says you!" yells Tenten who wants to turn Hojo into a pin cushion for kunai.

"I'M TELLING YOU WE SHOULD GO LEFT!" yelled Hojo.

"Can I kill him." said Tenten and Naruko simultaneously.

"No. And if we could we'd already fed him to that Piranha Plant a while back." said Ken.

"You wouldn't."

"One of the reasons why I'm not a Jonin is the way I react to clients that annoy me to no end." said Ken in his usual calm yet disturbing tone.

"I don't have any threatening motives. But I do have a teammate and Sensei that I can torture you with." said Tenten while back in Konoha the Green Beasts sneezed.

"I have rejected ideas about how I'm gonna treat my master for making me go through the hell she calls training. And believe me, they're none too pleasant." Naruko said with a hint of sadism. Hojo resorted to staying quiet and praying to Kami-sama for the time being.

After 9 hours they're somehow halfway on the path to Amegakure. They lost two hours because Naruko led them out of the forest and into Kaze no Kuni. And since they rather not risk it they camped out for the night.

"Stupid forest. I swore I was going the right way." pondered Hojo.

"I doubt we're supposed to follow a sign that says 'Amegakure. 1 mile this way'." said Tenten, roasting some Spam on a stick. "Anyways has anyone seen Naruko?"

"The flat-chested one is training on top a cliff by the edge of a waterfall. Said something about practicing her swing."

"_So she's serious about beating me huh?_ And where's Geki-sensei?"

"Went to observe her."

At the cliff…

"1001, 1002, 1003, 1004…" Naruko counts her swings.

"**Bo-ring."** Kyuubi said in a bored tone.

"Shut up. 1008, 1009, 1010…"

"**Why couldn't Yondi sealed me in a more attractive girl? Preferably one with the right curves and right sized breasts."**

"I said shut up…damn it, I lost count. 1, 2, 3, 4…"

From behind Ken rushes in and draws his dao, intent on slicing Naruko in half. Naruko sensed him coming and dodged it and got out of the way.

"You sensed me coming and dodged my attack with ease. Impressive." said Hojo.

"What are you trying to do? Kill me?" yelled Naruko with a steady grip on her blade.

"I've been observing you for some time now and frankly your sword intrigues me."

"What do you mean?"

"Easy, I want to fight you."

"**Be careful kit. He's a strong opponent. Not as strong as that vixen of a chick you call Sis but plenty strong."**

"_You don't have to tell me twice._ So, what are the rules?"

"Anything Goes match. And that means fatal blows count."

"You mean?"

"That's right. We fight until somebody dies,"

"I accept on the condition that nobody dies." Naruko said in a serious tone.

"Do what you like."

Naruko readies her stance while Ken takes a defensive stance. _"Hm? A defense stance, is he the defensive counterattack type? No, there's more to it than that."_

Either way Naruko shrugs it off. As soon as the crescent moon appears behind the clouds Naruko made her move by just running in haphazardly. She draws her sword and swings but Ken dodges with ease. Naruko repeats but he repeats the same movements after a few times. Afterwards Naruko uses a thrust attack but he blocks with the tip of his dao. Immediately he spins and swings it. Naruko dodges but her left arm gets cut. Then he follows with a hard hitting kick to her chest. She flies and lands with a thud. "Son of a…"

"A little something about me is that I'm not merciful. Also I'll show you why they call me furious swordplay." Naruko gives him no time to take a stance as she already utilizes her **Ryusui no Ugoki **to confuse him. "You're trying to confuse me huh? Try it."

From behind Naruko spins real fast and uses her familiar **Kaiten Kenbu**. She lands the spins and lands with grace.

"I win." She's about to walk away when Ken immediately gets up and slashes Naruko's back. She cries out in pain and falls down. "What?"

"I've seen how **Jissen Kenbu **works and I know a few ways to go against it." He shows that he lessens the blow with his dao. Also all her attack did is that it barely grazed him. "And as I said, I will not show mercy." He disappears and reappears above her ready to thrust his blade down. She rolls out of the way but gets a cut on her cheek. Not giving her a chance to breathe he thrust his blade at her. She dodges again to only have him cutting across her head. She jumps up and onto his blade and jumps over him. She lands behind him and cuts diagonally. He dodges and lands a heel kick onto the side of her head, causing her to fly again, land with another thud, and cough up blood. "You're not putting any killing intent in your moves. What's the point of using a blade if you don't kill?"

"Zabuza said that too. And to answer your question I don't know. I will eventually and I'll definitely win without killing you." This time around she opted for a battoujutsu stance with a detached sheath (out of the sash).

"You're going with battoujutsu? Whatever." He runs in and as soon as he's in range Naruko draws her blade. He dodges the first strike and brings down his sword.

"**Sou Ryu Sen.**" She swings her sheath at him, though closer than usual because of the shorter blade. Unfortunately he also blocks with the kris on his left hand.

"Try again against someone who's not familiar with Hiten Mitsurugi." He then slashes her across the chest, leaving her on the ground before she kneels. He then points his blade at her throat. "You could have killed me with that strike and yet you held back. Just tell me. Why do you not kill?"

"I won't do it outside my free will and Sis told me that if I started killing everyone I meet then I'll run out of people to fight. Besides its more fun to see how much they improved when we fight again." She smirked.

"Interesting. You won't kill and yet you want to fight them as soon as they get better. Have people told you that you'll gonna die that way?"

"Most people I said this to have but Sis is the only one who taught me the thrills of fighting and frankly the stronger the opponent the bigger the thrill."

"Okay, session over."

"Huh?"

"Let me explain. Your teacher hired me to observe how much you grown within the 9 months you left. Think of it as a test."

"She's still testing me? She just doesn't give up on tormenting me."

"That's her alright. Think of it as this way. She's just worried after she somehow got word about that fight you had with…"

"I know. He's was tough and compared to you he actually threw me off a cliff. So how I do?"

"You need work on learning how to survive. Continue like this and you'll end up scarred and unattractive." She responds with a sitar slap.

"I get the point. Besides I tend to come out strong near death. Alright, I'll work on that. So do I pass?"

"If you weren't losing blood at this point I'd pass you already. Speaking of wounds you really should wrap them up."

"One more question. What's the point of the escort?"

"Oh, we really did have a mission like that. The only difference is that it's a regular C-rank with no missing-nin. And he really did ask for swordsmen. Now wrap them up before you get infected. And don't say it. I'm fully aware you're the Kyuubi Brat. Though I'm starting to think you're more than just the demon."

"I know. I heard worse. Now pass the bandages."

Meanwhile…

"So boring." Tenten said as she's surrounded by unconscious Yakuza and multitudes of weapons and a kitchen sink.

"Next time, I'm just hiring regular ninja." Hojo said as he nearly got his head smacked by a morning star.

Back near the waterfall…

"Where did you get that scar on your back?" Ken asks, seeing a slash scar on Naruko's back.

"Got it two weeks before I came back to Konoha. Normally that scar is not present because of the furball's presence but I kept it there to remind me of my carelessness._ And my vow._"

"Anyways you're all healed up. That blood-clotting ointment you keep in your sheath works like a charm."

"Damn right it works. Sis made me her guinea pig for that damn ointment. During the test run I got blown up, boils, and two extra arms for a week. I swore my shoulders and back

were never the same afterwards.

"Speaking of this Sis, if you see her again tell her she still owes me 20,000 ryou."

"Huh?"

"She'll know. And it's going up 25,000 by three months." Ken simply said. Naruko though just tilted her head.

* * *

A/N: Not totally satisfied with this whole chapter but at least I can get to the Chunin Exams. Later cowboys.

**Jutsu List:**

**Byakurai (White Lightning) – Shoot a concentrated bolt of lightning. Otherwise refer to **_**Bleach**_

**Ryu Kan Sen (Dragon Wrap Flash) – While avoiding the opponent's attack while simultaneously taking advantage of centrifugal force (or in this case body rotation), the user can then shift directly into a counterattack**

**Aoi Ikazuchi (Blue Lightning) – All I can tell you is that it's a huge burst of blue lightning**

**Suiton: Haizen Doshaburi (Water Release: Torrential Downpour) – A huge torrent of water is poured on the opponent, strong enough to wedge them into the ground**

**Raiton: Raiu no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Thunderstorm Technique) – A thunderstorm is cast over the area and lightning bolts is shot down randomly, though Sensei's abilities allows her to control where they shoot**

**Kawarimi no Jutsu (replacement Technique)**

**Ryusui no Ugoki (Flowing Water Movement) – See Chapter 4**

**Kaiten Kenbu (Spinning-Heavenly Sword Dance) – See Chapter 4**

**Jissen Kenbu (Actual-Battle Sword Dance) – Ryusui and Kaiten combo**

**Sou Ryu Sen (Twin Dragon Flash) – Battoujutsu technique. If the first strike miss the user then swings their sheath so to avoid being left open after the first strike**


	8. First and Second Exams

A/N: Well at least this chapter is a whole lot better. Anyways since it's the Chunin Exams I have plenty of material for the fights and my Third Exams will be interesting to say the least. As for the reviews I do appreciate them but I do need some criticism to make this better. Well enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but I do own Nero, Mayu and (kinda) Sara

Legend

"…normal…"

"…_thoughts…"_

"…**Kyuubi & Inner Voices talks/Jutsu**…"

"…_**Kyuubi & Inner Voices thinks**__…"_

* * *

**Chapter Eight: The First and Second Exams and Dine and Ditch**

About half a day later (navigation was a pain and they overshot Ame by 600 meters) they reached Amegakure. Though Naruko rather stay out of reach and camp out because she built up a bad reputation of dine and ditch at various restaurants and they never forget her. And even if she puts up a **Henge** they never forget her unique smell of sweat, Floral Green shampoo, and green tea. Other than that nothing else is worth mentioning so we'll skip ahead two weeks. About two weeks later and more D-ranks…

"Damn Boozie. He woke me up with his version of Miso Soup: Cajun Style. And it's also 10:00 and I was hoping to sleep till 12:00." mumbled Naruko.

:"Naruko-neechan!" yelled Akari.

"Huh? What's up Akari?"

"Can you train me some more?"

"Uh sure. After we eat."

"No ramen."

"WHAT?"

"You always eat that stuff. People always say you need to eat more variety. And every time I go eating with you, you always go for ramen."

"YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH RAMEN?"

"No, I want something else. Please?" Akari said while using the **Puppy Eyes no Jutsu**.

"_Goddamn __**Puppy Eyes no Jutsu**__. It'll be the death of me one of these days." _sighed Naruko.

"_**Ah the Puppy Eyes no Jutsu. Effective for humans but its nothing compared to pure killer intent of a biju."**_ thought Kyuubi.

"Fine, how about BBQ."

"How about dango or anmitsu?"

"I hate sweets."

"Fine, but you're paying. AND YOU'RE NOT LEAVING ME WITH THE BILL!"

An hour and multiple orders of ribs and beef tongue later…

"Oh man, when was the last time I ate like this." said an overstuffed (and impossibly huge) Naruko.

"Half human, half Akimichi. That's what you are." muttered Akari.

Naruko then reaches for her pockets for her wallet. She then shuffled through them some more. Eventually…

"Crap, I forgot my wallet." She gravely said while shifting to her normal body size without anybody asking how she done that.

"SAY WH…" Naruko covered Akari's mouth.

"Quiet, I have a plan. When I give the signal…RUN!" Naruko dashes away as fast as she can, leaving the restaurant.

"THAT'S YOUR PLAN?!" yells Akari.

"We got a runner!" yelled the cashier.

"Oh crap!" Akari runs out as well and catches up with Naruko. "What kind of stupid plan is this?"

"It worked 8 out of 10 times for me! Now shut up and run!"

They ran into an alley with Akari running ahead. Eventually she slammed into a boy with make-up and fell back.

"Just what with these brats today?" growled face-paint boy who held Akari and Konohamaru by the front of their shirt.

"Let me down!" struggled Akari and Konohamaru.

"As I said earlier. Don't start anymore trouble." urged the blonde with four ponytails and a huge fan.

"Like Temari said Girly Man. Let my friends go or else." said Naruko as she walked over.

"Or else what."

"Oh you seen what I can do Make-up Boy. You remember who my buddy is do you Mr. Clinically-Disturbed-Boy-Who-Thinks-Puppets-are-Alive."

"WHAT THE HELL…" Kankuro took one look at Naruko and dropped both students and immediately quivered and into a fetal position.

"What's with him?" asked Sakura.

"I dunno. At the time when that blonde girl took on Kankuro he couldn't sleep for three days."

"When did you go to Suna Uzumaki?" said Sasuke up in the tree.

"I'll tell you later Pigeon. Right now where's Tanuki-kun?"

"Tanuki-kun?" asked Sakura.

"Pathetic Kankuro." a voice snarled out which made Kankuro twitch in fear.

"Ga-Gaara." stuttered Kankuro.

"Quivering in front of a useless girl like her? You're an embarrassment to our village."

"B-but. It wasn't my fault that she has…"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear your excuse."

"Hey it's Tanuki-kun! Damn, you look worse than ever. Might I recommend sleep?" Naruko said, not aware that Shukaku is sealed within him. Said 'Tanuki-kun' ignored her. Speed things up a bit to after they left. "Not one time has he noticed me. I guessed he's still pissed after I replaced all his sand with pixie stixs."

"You still have to tell us why you were in Suna." said Sakura.

"Well…" Before Naruko can tell her story…

"THERE THEY ARE!" yelled one of the cooks.

"OH CRAP!" Naruko immediately grabbed Akari and ran in the opposite direction.

"YOU WON'T ESCAPE!" said a group of the restaurant workers as they tailed the duo.

"Um neesan, what just happened." said Konohamaru.

"I don't know." said Sakura.

---

An hour later…

"So you tried to skip out on the bill and got caught." said Sakura.

"Damn right, I did manage to pay it off though, with interest." Naruko said. When Sakura asked how Naruko just whistled.

At the Hokage Tower…

"Now where the hell did I put my platinum card?" said Sarutobi.

The next day (10:00) and some obviously pissed off Genin…

"Sigh…DAMN IT! WHY DOES KAKASHI-SENSEI TELLS US TO MEET HIM HERE AND THEN MAKES US WAIT!" yelled Sakura.

"You're too loud Pinky." muttered Naruko while playing a tune on her sitar.

"What about the feelings of a young girl who overslept and didn't have time to blow dry her hair!" shouted Sakura with just a small part of her hair in a curl.

"Oh and I'm not any better?" said Naruko whose hair is a little messier than usual and that she didn't have time to brush her teeth so she's chewing gum.

"_They're in a good mood." _thought Sasuke passively.

Then from atop an arch Kakashi appears. "Yo, sorry I'm late but I had to give directions to a boy with black and mostly white hair and a split personality, another boy trying to find some other boy named Ranma, and a battle-happy spiked-haired man with a pink-haired kid on his shoulders." lied (sorta) Kakashi.

"LIAR!" yelled both Naruko and Sakura. In three different directions Hatsuharu Sohma, Ryoga Hibiki, and Kenpachi Zaraki sneezed.

"Uh yeah. Anyways since this is all sudden I've nominated you three for the Chunin Exams. Here are your applications." said Kakashi.

"…" Sasuke.

"SAY WHAT?" exclaimed Sakura.

"I know this is all sudden but I LOVE YOU KAKASHI!" She immediately latched onto Kakashi.

"Stop it, let go of me." Kakashi struggles to get out of her grip.

"What an idiot." said both Sakura and Sasuke.

"Anyways, they're just nominations. It's really up to you if you want to take it or not. If you do then sihn it and hand them in to room 301 by 4 pm tomorrow. Dismiss." said Kakashi as he disappears.

---

The next day Chunin hopefuls flocked to where the First Exams is being held. As for our three Genin.

"_Am I really up for this? I know Sasuke can do this and Naruko is more than capable of it but…"_ Sakura thought feeling worried.

"_Sis said that the Chunin Exams are a breeze. Better hope it is." _thought Naruko.

Sasuke remains passive but the thought of Gaara intrigues him. _"If he's in the exam then I can fight him!"_

Speed it up again to the point where they meet Lee…

""Hey, guy with the dark eyes." echoed a voice from above. The trio looked up to see the bushy-browed boy in green. "I would like to fight you right now."

"Right now?" questioned Sasuke.

"Yes." He then jumped from the floor above and landed onto the floor. "My name is Rock Lee. When you want to learn a person's name you introduce yourself first right?"

"…Uchiha Sasuke."

"Fuzzy Eyebrows! If you have time to challenge the Uke to a fight then challenge me as well!" yelled Naruko.

"No thanks, a gentleman must never hit a woman. Besides," said Lee while blushing in a Lee kind of way. "You're an angel."

"Ugh, no way." Naruko said bluntly. "Not interested in spandex, bowl cuts, and oversized eyebrows."

"That is okay. I figured that you would not accept me so Sakura-chan! Please accept my affections!" He winked at her.

"EEW! NO WAY!" Sakura overreacted. "Your lower lashes are gross. Your hairstyle is way too ugly. And those thick eyebrows…THEY'RE JUST TOO…GROSS!!"

"What an angel." Lee blew her a kiss, oblivious to the fact that Sakura is repulsed by him..

"NOO!" Sakura avoids it by twisting her body.

"Very nice. Now how about this." Lee then blew multitudes of kisses at her.

Sakura dodged left, right, jumped, ducked, left again, and did a flip. When the last one came she bent backwards and stood up breathing hard with a goose egg sized bump on her head. _"That was too close."_

"Wow Pinky, you look like me after Teach's running lessons." said Naruko.

"Damn it! Don't throw weird things at me! I barely escaped with my life!" yelled Sakura, holding a fist at Lee.

"**I'LL MURDER HIM IF EVEN ONE OF HIS KISSES HITS MY FACE! SHANNARO!" **roared Inner Sakura.

"You do not have to be so mean." said Lee.

"You challenge me knowing the Uchiha name? What a fool. You'll learn what the Uchiha name means Thick Brows."

"I can only say this. Among the Leaf Genin I am the strongest."

"Is that's so. Fine, I accept!" Sasuke starts by closing in on Lee.

"_He's coming. I'm sorry Gai-sensei but I may have to break the rules. I may need to use that move."_

Sasuke throws a punch but Lee disappears before he could hit him. Lee counters with **Konoha Daisenpu**. Sasuke dodges the first kick but tries to guard against the second. Lee does a hand sign that throws off Sasuke for a moment before he got kicked on the side of his face and flew back for a bit.

"What!!" exclaimed Sasuke. _"He slipped through my guard. Is that ninjutsu or taijutsu?"_

"_He had that blocked. What's going on?"_ thought Sakura.

"_Taijutsu expert. If I fought him I'd most likely lose." _calmly though Naruko.

"No matter, at least I get to practice this." And Sasuke brought out the Sharingan. Sakura admires Sasuke for having Sharingan but…

"Don't bother Pinky. Even if the Uchiha has the Sharingan he's still at a major disadvantage." said Naruko.

"What do you mean?"

"Sis told me once that while the Sharingan has great benefits it has a few weaknesses that can be exploited."

"I still don't get it."

"Watch."

And soon enough Sasuke took a swift kick to the jaw and sent flying. Lee appears behind him and unwrap his bandages. But before he can wrap him up one of his bandages is pinned to the wall by a pinwheel.

"That's enough Lee." said a tortoise with a headband on his neck. Lee immediately flips and lands on his feet. Sakura rushed in and caught Sasuke.

"What's with the turtle?" said both Sakura and Sasuke.

"Tortoise. And to answer your question it's a summon. Now quiet, I want to see how this turns out." said Naruko.

"You were watching?" said Lee, averting his eyes to the ground.

"Lee! You know full well that technique is forbidden!" said Ninkame.

"A turtle lecturing to a fuzzy eyebrow freak. This cannot get any weirder." said Sakura.

"Tortoise!"

"Whatever!"

Ninkame shot a glare at Lee, causing him to shake in fear. "B-but I wasn't going to use the reverse version either…"

"Enough! You think you can get away with an excuse like that? You know full well what could happen when a ninja uses their special techniques."

Sasuke wiped off this cheek before feeling a bit cheap. "_I lost to these weirdoes?"_

"Are you prepared for your punishment?"

"Yes sir."

"Then come on out Gai-sensei!"

More smoke appeared on top of Ninkame's shell to reveal Maito Gai in all of his fuzzy eye browed, bowl cut, green jumpsuit, and questionable age glory.

"YOSH! ALL THREE OF YOU ARE IN THE PRIME OF YOUTH!" yelled Gai.

"HOLY CRAP! THEY'RE PRACTICALLY ALIKE!" yelled Sakura.

"Ugh, more freaks." said Sasuke with disgust.

"OH MY GOD! IT BURNS!" yelled Naruko.

"**SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS! I"VE GONE BLIND AGAIN!" **yelled Kyuubi.

"I see by your expressions that you're amazed by my burning youth." Gai grinned with his white teeth pinged.

"No, we're just shocked that you two are so alike. Especially the god-awful bowl cuts and thick eyebrows." muttered Sakura.

"DON'T INSULT GAI-SENSEI!" yelled Lee.

"IT NOT OUR FALUT THAT YOU BLINDED US WITH YOUR LOOKS!" yelled Naruko.

"**Good, I can still see. DAMN, THEY'RE STILL HERE!"** shouted Kyuubi.

"Why you…" Lee was cut off.

"Lee." said Gai.

"Yes Gai-sensei?"

"What have I told you about using that technique?"

"Not to use it but I didn't…"

"YOU FOOL!" Gai punched Lee hard enough to send him flying.

"HUH!!!!" Naruko and Sakura reactions to Gai punching his student. Sasuke remains a shocked "…"

"Sorry but I needed to punish you."

"I'm sorry as well Gai-sensei."

"That's alright Lee, you don't need to say anymore."

And here comes the ritual known as The Hugging of the Green Beasts. Notice how both the older beast and the younger beast show affection in the most horrifying way by hugging each other with the background of a sunset with crashing waves on the rocks shone prominently.

"OH, GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

Team Seven at this point had their eyes widened comically and their jaws hanging.

"_I did not need to see that. And where that sunset come from?" _ thought Sakura.

"_I cannot believe that I lost to a spandex wearing, bowl-cut, thick eyebrow freak who's_

_hugging his own clone behind a sunset with the __**Oiroke no Jutsu **__theme playing. If Itachi saw me now I die of embarrassment. Come to think of it I rather die right now."_ thought Sasuke.

Naruko on the otherhand.

"_No! Must use __**Memory Erase no Jutsu**__. IT'S NOT WORKING!"_ Naruko mentally cried.

"_**No! Must use Memory Erase no Jutsu. IT'S NOT WORKING!"**_mentally cried Kyuubi and Naruko's conscience.

They and Ninkame stopped crying and hugging and stood up.

"Now as for your punishment you must run around Konoha 500 times!" Gai yells while pointing at the sunset with teeth glinting.

"Yes Gai-sensei." Lee said with his teeth glinting in the apparent sunset.

"They're idiots." muttered Sakura.

"No shit Pinky." replied Naruko.

"_Kami-sama, kill me now."_ Sasuke mentally pleaded to Kami.

---

After they recovered they made their way to room 301 to be surprised by the sheer numbers of Genin taking the exams. Then out of nowhere the co-president of the Sasuke Fan Club, Ino Yamanaka, latched herself onto Sasuke, who has a sour look on his face.

"Sasuke-kun, you're late. I've been waiting so long for you to arrive."

"Hey Pig! Get away from Sasuke-kun!" yelled Sakura.

"Oho, if it isn't Sakura. Your forehead is as big and ugly as ever."

"What did you say?!" Sakura lashed out while Ino stuck out her tongue.

"So you guys made it this far. How troublesome." said Shikamaru as he and Chouji came over. "Man, this sucks."

"Yahoo! Found you guys!" Kiba called over. Hinata and Shino walked over as well. "Well well, looks like all of us rookies are assembled huh?"

"Oh great you guys too?" said Shikamaru.

"I wonder how far we'll get, eh Sasuke-kun." said a confident Kiba.

"And I see you're as confident as ever Kiba." smirked Sasuke.

"I bet you won't even get past the first test Dog-breath." said Naruko passively.

"Oh? You here too Naruko-no chest? I thought you would ran away by now." insulted Kiba.

"The only one running away is you Ass-breath!" said Naruko.

"Just try me you flat-chested bitch!" Both of them were grinning at each other in a pissed off sort of way with Naruko flipping the bird at him.

"Ano Naruko-san? Kiba-kun didn't mean it like that…" Hinata said while twiddling her thumbs.

"_Akamaru is looking tasty."_ thought Chouji.

"Hey you guys, can you quiet down over there?" said a siver-haired Genin with glasses as he came over. "You especially don't want to piss off the Rain Genin back there. They're extremely volatile."

The Rain-nin glared at them, especially at Naruko.

"_No shit."_ thought Naruko.

"Name's Yakushi Kabuto. Since you're all rookies I'll help you guys out." He brought out a stack of cards while holding one up. "They're my nin-info cards and they hold information about ninjas and other info."

"If you can, show me info on three ninjas." said Sasuke.

"Of course. That's what they're for. Just tell me what you know about the person." said Kabuto.

"Rock Lee of Konoha, Sabaku no Gaara, and Uzumaki Naruko."

"So you know their names, not much fun but should be easy." He pumped Chakra into a blank card to reveal Lee's statistics. "First up is Rock Lee. Says here he's a year older than you. Mission history includes 35 D-ranks and 25 C-ranks. His teammates are Hyuuga Neji (Hinata's eyes widened a bit) and Tenshi Tenten and his sensei is Maito Gai. His Taijutsu is incredible but his Ninjutsu and Genjutsu are the lowest of the low."

"Next up is Sabaku no Gaara. Mission history includes an unknown number of D-ranks, 10 C-ranks, and…interesting a B-rank. His teammates are his older brother Kankuro and older sister Temari. He's still new so I don't have much. The thing is he's never been injured in a mission. Not even one scratch or a stubbed toe."

Sasuke at this point is brewing with excitement while Naruko awaits her card.

"And finally Uzumaki Naruko. Mission History: 30 D-ranks a C turned B, and a B-rank. Her teammates are Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura and her sensei is Hatake Kakashi and an unknown teacher. It says here that she has no known Genjutsu and Taijutsu is average at best but her Ninjutsu and Kenjutsu are off the charts. It also says that she's has impressive lightning abilities, various styles of swordsmanship, believes in something called the Ramen God…" Every rookie looked at her in a strange way and thinking at the same time: _"She's still believes in the Ramen God?"_ Kabuto continued. "Anyways the thing is she's hates being called…" He was cut off with a blade pointed at his face.

"IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE I SUGGEST THAT YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!" Naruko threatened.

Kabuto just shrugs it off. "Well as you can see we have shinobi from Fire, Wind, Waterfall, Rain, Rock, and Sound who are here to take the exam…hmm interesting."

"What?" said everyone.

"Well apparently we have 3 Genin from Kumogakure."

"So?"

"Kumo's not on the best of terms with Konoha for some reason. That's all I got from sis." said Naruko.

Said Kumo-nin, which consists of a pale boy with sunglasses, a tan girl dressed as a pirate, and a blind girl with a shamisen, walking stick, and in a kimono were overhearing their conversation.

"Hey Mayu, do you know what they talking about?" said the pale boy. (He's about 14 and 5 ft. 4. He's completely dressed in pure black and while he's as pale as a ghost he's extremely healthy.)

"Nuh uh Nero. They never told us anything in class." said Mayu. (She's 14 and 5 ft.2. She's dressed in a striped top and blue shorts with sandals and a bandana. She also wearing earrings, a compound bow made from an unknown material and quivers holding arrows of some other material suited for the bow strapped to her back, and has a Jolly Roger tattoo on her left arm.)

"Ok, and how about you Sara.?"

"Hm?" responded Sara while playing the shamisen. (She's 15 and at least 5 ft.5. She's dressed in a lavender kimono with slits for easy movement, a blue sash around her waist, and traditional sandals. Other items include her walking stick, a shamisen, and a katana with a blue and white hilt.) "Sorry but I wasn't listening. I was merely observing the various auras in the room, especially this red and blue one (Naruko). This girl's aura is calm but with a raging desire for fighting. She's a true fighter with pure fighting instinct."

"Is that right. Hm, maybe the exams got a lot more interesting than I thought." intrigued Nero.

Just then a huge cloud of smoke appeared in the front of the classroom and as sson as the smoke cleared it revealed none other than Morino Ibiki.

"Alright maggots, listen up. I'm Morino Ibiki and from this point on I'm your worst nightmare." said Ibiki with a sadistic snigger.

(A/N: No point in writing the First Exam so let's put it like this. Naruko is overconfident, she's then sweat bullets, Hinata offers her to copy her paper, Naruko refuses and cries twin waterfalls, Naruko does the usual outburst that causes everyone left to gain confidence, Hinata admires Naruko now, and yadda yadda yadda.)

Just then somebody broke through the window while throwing two kunai tied with a flag complete with the words Second Examiner, Mitarashi Anko, is Here! And standing in front of it is none other than Anko in her standard fishnet clothing with nothing under it complete with an orange skirt, trench coat, shin guards, custom gloves and pineapple style purple hair.

"Alright you idiots! This is no time to be celebrating! I'm the second proctor of the Chunin Exams! I'm Mitarashi Anko and lucky for you guys I'm sexy and single. NOW LET'S GO!" Anko raised her fist into the air. The whole room just gave her a dead reaction.

"Your timing is way off." Ibiki stated while Anko made a complete fool of herself.

"I can see why she's single." muttered Naruko.

"78? Ibiki, have you gone soft?" said Anko.

"It seems this year's bunch were an exception." said Ibiki.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter because by the time I'm done with them there will be less than half of you left."

When she said that the mood in the air turned into fear and worry.

"This will be fun. I'll explain the details tomorrow so ask your Jonin teachers about the location and time. Dismiss!"

---

The next day and another dead alarm clock…

"Yawn, better get something to eat before the Second Exam." After the usual morning routine and 5 bowls of ramen Naruko heads over to the Forest of Death.

"Alright this is the stage for the Second Exam, otherwise known as the Forest of Death." Anko smirked.

"This place is creepy." said Sakura.

"You will be able to experience why this place is called the Forest of Death." Anko grinned.

"You will be able to experience why this place is called the Forest of Death." Naruko snorted and mocked Anko while placing her arms on her hips and swaying them. "What's the point? Teach can do scarier."."

"Oho, we have an energetic one." smiled Anko. With an unnoticeable twitch in her eyes she tossed a kunai and struck her cheek while cutting off a few hairs from a certain Grass-nin. She then appears behind Naruko.

"You know, Genin like you die the most gruesome in this exam, spraying the blood I happen to like." Anko smirked while seductively licking her blood. "Tasty, your blood just turns me on."

"_Kami-sama and Ramen-sama, what have I got myself into?"_

"**HOLY CRAP! She's got to be real bold to wear nothing but fish netting, a trench coat, and a mini-skirt! Hell I bet she has no panties on too!"**

"_Damn Ero-Fox."_

"**You damn right! She's probably an S&M type. My kind of girl."**

"_S&M?" _Kyuubi explained S&M in a perverted way and emphasized his apparent interest in it._ "PEOPLE ARE INTO THAT?!"_

"**Damn right! Hell I'll bet you'll get into it when you're older!"**

"_I'm starting to think you'll corrupt me by then."_

"**Even better. MORE ENTERTAINMENT!"**

"_YOU'RE GONNA USE ME JUST FOR ENTERTAINMENT?!"_

"**YOU DAMN RIGHT! Just because I'm confined to this damn seal doesn't mean I don't need entertainment."**

"_Oh whatever."_

"Hm, I see that you have her scent."

"Whose scent?"

"If you see Tenji-chan, tell her she owes me a drink."

"_Tenji-chan? Does Naruko know her?" _thought Tenten.

"Um okay."

---

About 30 minutes later the Second Exam started and every Chunin hopeful rushed in with the intent to grab a scroll and survive the dangers of the forest. Naruko, Sakura, and Sasuke stopped in a small clearing when they heard screams.

"So Sasuke, what do we do now?" said Sakura.

"We set up camp if we're to stay for a few days unless we find a scroll first." said Sasuke.

"Sounds good."

"…I'll be back." Naruko twitched for a bit before standing up.

"Where you going?" asked Sasuke before Naruko shot a glare and went into the bushes.

"It's better if you don't ask." said Sakura.

Naruko reappears out of the bushes more relaxed than normal. "Well, shall we go Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke lets out a grin before he smacks his fist squarely at 'her' face. "Nice try but your disguise is way off. First your shuriken holster is on your right side and your blade is on your left. Naruko is left handed. Second, where's the wound on your face? Third, she never refers to me by my first name or use -kun. And fourth…" Sasuke was about to finish his sentence when the real Naruko appears behind him and landed a **Tsutenkyaku **powerful enough to drive him to the ground.

"Every Ame-nin knows my scent and you smell like plain sweat. Frankly you're really bad at **Henge**." Naruko finished his sentence. The trio quickly ran off to another clearing.

"Alright, even if one of us get separated don't trust them." said Sasuke.

"So what do we do?" asked Sakura.

"We'll come up with a password."

"What's the password?"

"The password is the code of the ninja."

"Okay."

"Alright, I'll hold onto the scroll."

Before they can move though a huge gust of wind blew towards them, causing them to fly in three different directions. Then three grass-nin appears to where they were before.

"You two, play around over there. I'll handle these brats." said the 'Female'.

Sasuke in the meantime is under a bush observing who they are. From behind he sees Sakura approaching him. "Say the password!"

"Huh, oh. A ninja never shows his or her emotions. They must remain vigilant and most important of all a ninja must know how to kill, no matter the circumstances."

"Alright."

"Ow. Son of a..."

"Password Naruko."

"I know. A ninja never shows his or her emotions. They must remain vigilant and most important of all a ninja must know how to kill, no matter the circumstances."

Sakura took a breather while Sasuke just smirked before throwing a kunai at Naruko. She catches it easily. "Nice try. But there's a big difference between you and Naruko. First, she has her own code of the ninja and kills on her own accord. And second your blade is a katana. She uses a kodachi."

"Ku ku ku. Impressive Sasuke-kun." Said "Female" dropped the **Henge**.

Meanwhile Naruko is between a rock and a hard place…literally…

"I see what they mean by a rock and a hard place." groaned a smoking Naruko who was wedged between a rock and a hard tree.

"**Technically kit, the phrase means choosing two undesirable things in a certain situation. Though your way was a hell lot more literal." **said Kyuubi.

"Either way, it still hurts like hell." Before she can move though a huge snake appeared in front of her. "SON OF A BITCH! THAT SNAKE IS FUCKING HUGE!" Said Snake lunged its tail at her, grabs her and eats her whole. "I'm sticky again!"

"**So, what are you gonna do? Let it digest you or rip it a fucking new asshole."**

"Look, I don't have time for you and this. **Raiton:** **Raikoho**!" She casts a gigantic burst of electricity that tore through the snake and created a new asshole in the middle of its tail (or somewhere close to it since she wasn't aiming). Afterwards she runs off to find her teammates When she arrived she found an unconscious Sakura and a passed out Sasuke with a weird hickey on his neck in front of a questionably sexuality man in girls clothes.

"Well well. Looks like the blonde girl survived after all." hissed 'Female'.

"Who the hell are you?" growled Naruko.

"You don't know me? What do they teach in the academy? Anyways, I am Orochimaru." said Orochimaru.

"I never pay attention. And I don't know what the hell you did to these two but it won't work on me!" said Naruko. She just rushed in, without knowing the full capacity of a Sannin like Orochimaru. She swings her sword but Orochimaru grabs her blade before she could land a hit.

"Is that all? I thought you had more than this Naruko-chan." he said in a sick way (his version.)

"You think?" She kicks him out of the way, formed a few hand seals, and trapped him in her **Thunder Flare**. She follows with a **Futon: Renkudan **that hits Orochimaru head on while the **Thunder Flare **locks him in place and she finishes with a **Lightning Fist**. However all she hits is his **Tsuchi Bunshin**. The real Orochimaru appears behind her and holds her by his stretchy tongue.

"It's too bad. If you had more potential you could be of some use to me. Unfortunately you're as useless as the Haruno girl. Though you're the type of little girl I like to satisfy my desires." He said in a really sick way.

"LET ME GO YOU SICK PEDOPHILE!" Naruko struggles to get out.

"Not a chance. Before I go I'll give you a little gift." Orochimaru lifts up her shirt to reveal her stomach and the Kyuubi seal. He then forms the **Gogyo Fuin **in his hand and slams it into her stomach. She screams out in pain before she passes out. He then throws her in the direction of Sakura and disappears into the forest.

---

In the mindscape of Naruko…

"_My god do I feel like crap."_ moaned Naruko.

"**You think you have it bad?"**

"_What are you complaining about?"_

"**Kit, that goddamn pedophiliac of a fucking snake screwed your chakra control real bad."**

"_What does that mean?"_

"**It means that not only you can't control your output but also the force of your ninjutsu. My suggestion is find somebody who can undo this seal because it's screwing me over as well."**

"_How so?"_

"**Um…it's so dark in here that I have use Kitsune-bi?"**

"_Oh yeah, that's reassuring."_ said Naruko sarcastically. _"And yet I'm the one feeling like_

_crap."_

"**Stop complaining no-chest. Be glad that freaking Fruit didn't violate you. Anyways just focus on your kenjutsu and if you need to use ninjutsu just make it work."**

"_Wow, this is a first. Usually you never tell me anything like this. Hell, you rather see me dying for entertainment rather than help."_

"**This is different kit. I don't really know him that well but I definitely know he's that snake bastard Orochimaru."**

"_Who's Orochimaru?"_

"**You really need to pay attention in your lessons or whatever you heard out in the field some time ago."**

"_And you're any different?"_

"**Point taken. Just ask that Hyuuga kid…"**

"_What now?"_

"**Sorry kit but I'll have to end this conversation. It seems that prick Uchiha has gone insane and he has strange markings on him."**

"_Huh?" _Naruko woke up to see Sasuke about to break the arms of Zaku. One sickening bone cracking later…

"You're last…" Sasuke looked back at Dosu with a look of murder. But before Sasuke could move…

"**Tenji's Restraint Technique: Return to Society or Something Like That: Thousand Years of Driven to the Ground**!" Naruko yelled out the unnecessarily long name. All she really did is slammed Sasuke into the ground, deep enough to leave a noticeable imprint. Everyone winced at the impact that was made. "There, that should do it." Both Sakura and Ino though retaliate with their version of **Thousand Years**.

"Idiot!" they both yelled.

"What a mood killer." said everyone else.

"Ugh…what happened?" Sasuke groaned while holding his head.

"You're back!" both proclaimed.

"See! Sis's restraint technique never fails!" Naruko proclaimed. She then notices Sakura's new hair. "Whoa Pinky, bad hair day?"

"Um…well…I've been thinking of cutting it short for a while." half-lied Sakura.

"Well, you do look better with short hair. Anyways here." Naruko tosses her blade to Sakura. "There's some blood-clotting ointment in the end of the hilt. Just dab it a little and it should work in no time."

"You sure about it?"

"Gotta be. I was Sis' freaking guinea pig. During one of the test runs I got boils, extra arms, and an unusual case of indigestion. Don't worry though, that's the final product."

About 20 minutes later and some screaming ("Whoops, guess that's the extra-strength-burns-like-crap formula."), Team Seven resumed their pursuit to the tower.

"So let me get this straight. You got a heaven scroll from the Ame-nin that ambushed us from earlier?" said Sasuke.

"Damn right." said Naruko.

"Just what did you do?" said Sakura. Naruko just let out an evil grin. As for said Ame-nin, they were found impaled through a tree.

* * *

A/N: I'll finish for now. Remember to review and later cowboys.

**Jutsu List:**

**Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique)**

**Puppy Eyes no Jutsu – An eye technique best used when you want something. As stated by Kyuubi killer intent works much better. **

**Konoha Daisenpu (Leaf Great Whirlwind)**

**Memory Erase no Jutsu – A type of technique used to forcibly erase a person's memory. However it won't work if the person has experience something very shocking.**

**Raiton: Raikoho (Lightning Release: Thunder Roar Cannon) – My version of the technique is that it unleashes a gigantic burst of lightning in one direction, capable of tearing apart whatever comes into its path**

**Thunder Flare**

**Futon: Renkudan (Wind Release: Drilling Air Bullet)**

**Lightning Fist**

**Tsuchi Bunshin no Jutsu (Earth Clone Technique) **

**Gogyo Fuin (Five Element Seal)**

**Tenji's Restraint Technique: Return to Society or Something Like That: Thousand Years of Driven to the Ground – A simple attack with an unnecessary long name. All it suppose to do is to subdue a person hard enough to have them come to their senses**


	9. Third Exam and Kumo Team

Azrael: Wow, it's been a while hasn't it.

Naruko: Well yeah…OVER HALF A YEAR!

Azrael: Don't blame me; I had terrible writer's block.

Naruko: And yet you planned out my story up to the last quarter.

Azrael: That and some other stuff.

Naruko: ??

Naruto: HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME?

Azrael: What about you?

Naruto: When will you write mine?

Azrael: As much I like Satsuki…

Satsuki: Thank you.

Azrael:…your story's more complicated to write.

Naruto: HOW COMPLICATED CAN IT BE?

Azrael: It's just is. Now say the author notes to Kami-sama in the form of an angry mob/tribal savages outside.

Naruto: Fine fine.

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay but I had issues, mostly distracting issues. Anyways I'm still writing this and I'll keep doing so since I got good stuff around the second half of the story. So enjoy!**

**A/N/N: I forgot to add this in the last chapter but if you want to know what Zabuza did to Tora the cat…well let's say that one of Zabuza's motto is **_**What they don't know won't hurt me.**_** And if you can guess what that means you can guess what happened to Tora.**

Naruto: There, you happy?

Azrael: Nope, now you're my human sacrifice.

Naruto: Human…AGAIN?

Azrael: Off you go. (Kicks Naruto out of second story window. Sound of screaming and the landing a sickening crunch can be heard.)

Naruko: You're terrible.

Azrael: Gotta appease the mob. Besides, me and Kakashi already been fed to the mob already.

Naruko: I take it back. You're WORST than Sis.

Naruto: NOT THE FACE NOT THE FACE! (Sound of tribal chanting and girlish screams can be heard.)

Disclaimer: I own…crap, what do I own?

Legend

"…normal…"

"…_thoughts…"_

"…**Kyuubi, Inner Voices talks/Jutsu**…"

"…_**Kyuubi thinks**__…"_

* * *

**Chapter 9: The Third Exam and the Kumo Team**

As soon as they reached the tower they found that no one is there to greet them.

"Damn, I was hoping for an unexpected CONGRATULATION!" said Naruko, yelling out the last part.

"Was that really necessary?" said Sasuke.

"I doubt it. So what do we do?" said Sakura.

"I really wish I knew. All I see is a stupid riddle on the wall over there." said Naruko. They look up and see said stupid riddle.

"I don't get it." said Sasuke.

"ARGH! I HATE STUPID RIDDLES!" yelled Naruko.

"Calm down Naruko. Look up and see that there are gaps in that riddle." said Sakura.

"I still don't get it." Naruko tilted her head.

"It means dobe that we got to solve it. And we're to open up the scrolls." said Sasuke.

He and Sakura opened up the scroll to see some sort of seal.

"That's a summoning scroll! Throw it!" yelled Naruko. They threw it and where it landed exploded in a huge burst of smoke. When the smoke cleared it revealed none other than Umino Iruka.

"Yo, long time no see." greeted Iruka.

"Ir-Iruka-sensei?" the three Genin was baffled at him.

"Hm, and you made good time too. Now I was going to treat you three to a round of ramen but..." Iruka was cut off as he got the wind knocked out of him by Naruko with a spear.

"I take a miso ramen with BBQ pork, a seafood noodle, a chicken ramen…"

"Calm down Naruko. I'm not made of money you know."

"Mention the word noodle and she wants numerous bowls of the stuff." said Sakura.

"No wonder she's so flat-chested." whispered Sasuke. He didn't notice that a kunai shaved off a few hairs at lightning speed.

After the explanation with the riddle they still have three days before the Third Exam starts so they decided to rest up. Naruko also showed her culinary skills by cooking up stuff she found in the forest (mushrooms and otton frog). They also learn that when cooked right snakes (reticulated python) can taste like chicken.

"I know it's disgusting to eat a snake but for some reason I can't stop eating." said Sakura.

"That's my cooking for you. Although compared to Boozie I'm loads better. Hell, compared to Boozie I can actually boil water." Naruko proudly said while making mushroom stew.

"I still don't understand how you can cook something this good." said Sasuke.

"Well, I used to cook my own food since teach rarely fed me."

"As I said before. Irresponsible."

"Yeah, but I learn lots from the wild (_Usually what mushroom not to eat_) although her cooking is loads better than mine."

"Out of the sake of my own life, are those mushrooms safe?"

"Yeah, they're not destroying angels, fly agaric, or ural luminescent mushrooms. They're just baikal scaly tooth and oyster mushrooms."

About three days and more mushroom stew later…

"First off, for those who passed the Second Test, CONGRATULATIONS!" declared Sarutobi.

"_Heh, I was hoping to cut them down in half but I was expecting single digits. Oh well, at least the Preliminaries will cut them down."_ grinned Anko.

While Sarutobi drones on about the Exams and such…

"Well well Kakashi. It looks like your team made it as well. But remember this, for here on it's all about ability. After all youth has its sweet times and its sour times, eh Kakashi?" grinned Gai.

"Huh? You say something?" said an oblivious Kakashi.

Gai overreacted before holding up his fist in annoyance. _"Alright Kakashi, you and your annoying hip attitude win this round but next time…"_

"_So that's Gai-sensei's eternal rival. In terms of looks he lost."_ thought Tenten.

"_Gai-sensei is so cool! Among all the teachers his youth burns brightly. ALRIGHT GAI-SENSEI! I WILL LEARN HOW TO BURN AS BRIGHT AS YOU!" _mentally yelled Lee as he's surrounded by a flaming aura of youth.

"_Oh great, Fuzzy Eyebrows reminded us how youthful he can be." _groaned Team Seven as they remembered what happened last chapter.

"_Please kill us." _pleaded Tenten and Neji.

"_Hm? Why do I sense a flaming aura that feels like both a strong desire and at the same time weird?" _sensed Sara.

"Well, since there's too many Genin here we need to ask those to step up if they feel they need to quit." coughed Hayate. While there's a dead silence in the room Kabuto stepped up to give up. When nobody else went up Hayate continued. "Since no one else is willing to give up we'll starts the Preliminaries."

The scoreboard randomized the names and stopped on:

**Sasuke Uchiha v. Akado Yoroi **(Only thing worth writing is that Naruko noticed a glowing hickey)

Next…

**Yokujin Mayu v. some Rock-nin** (too lazy to come up with name)

About 5 minutes later said Rock-nin is pinned to the wall with numerous arrows stuck to his chest.

"Winner: Mayu." declared Hayate.

"Geez, what a waste of arrows. Ah well, they weren't my special ones." Mayu sighed. She then took a look at her bow. "Damn, I need to get a better one."

"Man, she's definitely no ordinary archer from what I can see." said Naruko.

"**It's not like she's Nasu no Yoichi incarnate kit. Though something about her seems…off." **said Kyuubi.

"_Why?"_

"**By off I mean in terms of obsessions. It feels…sorta weird."**

"_??"_

**Nara Shikamaru v. Tsuchi Kin **(same)

**Nero v. some Rock nin**

"I'm up." said Nero.

"If you're trying to make a point do it the way our faction taught us." said Sara.

"Don't worry, I always love some brutality every now and then."

On the field…

"When you're ready…BEGIN!" declared Hayate.

"I'll finish this quick. **Ishi no Yoroi**." He starts by forming an armor of stone with his chakra. He then charges headfirst, intending to tackle him and end this fast.

"Well, since that Nara kid already showed off his move I might as well use mine." said Nero.

"What the hell…" Before he can say anything the Rock-nin immediately stiffened up. Looking down though…

"That guy knows your family's technique Shikamaru!" yelled Ino.

"Hm, yeah and?" said Shikamaru lazily. "I never listen to lectures but I am familiar with Kumo's Sadojima Clan and their shadow abilities."

"Hm?"

"Somewhere down the line a rogue Nara defected to Kumo. And further up they developed a variation of the **Kagemane Jutsus**. Or said Sis, I wasn't paying attention." said Naruko.

"Well that was useful." Ino said sarcastically.

"Don't blame me. I hate useless subjects like history."

Anyways…

"Since I have this match locked in I can pretty much do anything. But I rather not reveal too much so I'll just do this." And so Nero began to stretch his arm outwards while the Rock-nin did the same. Then in one swift motion Nero plunged his arm into his chest. When the Rock-nin imitated him forcefully he screamed out loud when his arm forcefully plunged into his own chest. Nero plunged his other arm and Rock-nin did the same to the point where they look like they're trying to pull apart their bodies. Nero finishes by pulling out his arms left and right. Rock-nin does the same only with his enhanced strength he actually pulled apart his body. Explicit stuff includes cracked bones, torn organs, digestive juices pouring out from torn guts, and other stuff when you let your imagination go brutal and black.

"If you want to kill, you kill in the most efficient way possible. That's the first rule they taught us in the academy. They also taught us to find our own method to kill and I personally find brutality efficient." said Nero.

"Winner: Nero!" declared Hayate.

Over to the catwalk…

"My god…I never seen a brutal kill like that." said Sakura.

Naruko on the other hand is analyzing Nero more closely.

"_There's something about that body. It's just not normal." _thought Naruko.

"**Ooh, aren't we desperate."** said Kyuubi.

"_NO! I just wonder how the hell he managed to do all that without harming himself. It's as if all physical attacks are useless."_

"**You tell me. Anyways the next match is up and I don't want to miss this."**

**Aburame Shino v. Abumi Zaku **

No difference other than Zaku's arm gets blown off from the shoulder.

**Sabaku no Kankuro v. Tsurugi Misumi**

No difference besides Naruko scoffing at Kankuro.

**Haruno Sakura v. Yamanaka Ino**

Not much different so skip to the end of the match and then some.

"Wow Pinky, never thought you can actually fight like you did down there." said Naruko.

"So, does that mean I earned your respect." asked Sakura.

"If you get over your obsession with Pigeon then I'll respect you."

"Don't insult Sasuke-kun! He's not a pigeon!" yelled Ino.

"**God she's loud."**

"Could've fooled me Loudmouth." Naruko said, trying to regain hearing.

"Hey Naruko, you should really see this match." said Kakashi.

"I know Temari won Scarecrow."

"How do you know that?"

"I know Tenten's good and I should know. She's a friend of mine and I know a person who told me. But even though I was in Suna briefly I seen Temari fight and frankly Tenten has no chance."

No chance indeed because Temari swept the floor with Tenten and made her point about the Sand Team. Lee intervenes when Temari threw Tenten towards her weapons and caught her. He tried retaliating but Temari blocked. And whatever happened in the canon storyline. So jump ahead to…

**Uzumaki Naruko v. Inuzuka Kiba**

"Alright Akamaru, what luck!" cheered Kiba with Akamaru barking in agreement.

"About time." said Naruko while cracking a few joints.

"_It wasn't me. Sakura-san will call me Fuzzy Eyebrows for sure. If I'm not picked next Sakura-san will…" _said a crestfallen Lee.

Both combatants went down to the field (or in Naruko's case she jumped off) and faced each other.

"Just because you're a girl doesn't mean I'll go easy on you." smirked Kiba.

"And just because you're a mutt doesn't mean you'll go down easy." said Naruko.

"Big words coming from a bitch like you." said Kiba, a little bit annoyed.

"Heh, big words coming from a mongrel like you." said Naruko with a noticeable twitch.

"If you don't mind can we start this match?" coughed Hayate. They nodded before they resumed glaring at each other. "Anyways when you're ready…BEGIN!"

"I'll finish this fast. **Byakurai**!" Naruko tries to shoot **Byakurai** but comes up short when it fizzles out as soon as it shot. "What?"

"Are you trying to do something because it looks like you're failing as badly as the **Henge **back at the Academy." remarked Kiba.

"I can do this: **Byakurai**!" She tries again but fails again. "**Lightning Blast! Byakurai! Raiton: Raikyu no Jutsu! Thunder Flare! Lightning Fist! Raiton: Rairyuha! Raiton: Raikoho! Raiton: Raimei Akuma!" **Naruko shouted all of her (known) lightning techs to only come up short and breathed heavily. _"Hey Furball, care to explain why I can't use my techniques?"_

"**Did you forget? Snake-bastard slammed that seal on you. Your chakra control is terrible…let me rephrase that. It stinks worse than Thousand Year-Old Fish and you should know that stuff smells worse than the pits, especially spoiled. Combined with the fact that lightning-based jutsu is hard to control you pretty much have to rely on other techniques you have an easier time to perform with."**

"I have no clue what are you trying to do but it's useless. **Shikyaku no Jutsu**!" Kiba went on all fours and charged towards Naruko.

"_Fast!" _ Naruko dodged as Kiba took a whack at her. He swipes at her but Naruko dodges again. When he went for a kick Naruko flips over him, showing her acrobatic prowess. Though she didn't count on Kiba punching her into a wall.

"She's not gonna get up for a while Proctor." smirked Kiba. While impressed with her acrobatics the spectators, minus the Jonins, Hinata, and Sakura, thinks Naruko will definitely lose.

Naruko though stood up and cracked her neck joints a few times. "Ugh, I need more training. Teach would kill me if she found out that weak technique knocked me out."

The Spectators and Kiba were baffled at Naruko's resilience. "Considering I can't use my lightning techniques too well I might as well go back to basics." Naruko smiled.

"Let's go Akamaru!" Both Kiba and Akamaru charged towards Naruko and threw smoke bombs at her. Naruko gets away as soon as she gets covered in smoke but Akamaru lunged at her and bit her. Naruko smiled as she poofed into smoke to reveal her paintball tag (quick fuse). The tag exploded into a barrage of paintballs, giving the room an interesting myriad of colors. The real Naruko hid in the smoke behind an oversized umbrella.

"Paintball tag. How's that? Like it?" smirked Naruko.

"We don't!" yelled those who got caught in the crossfire except Kakashi and Sakura who know too well what kind of arsenal she has, and the fact that they remembered Wave too much, and Gaara who now has colorful sand.

"Dammit, why the hell did you do that?" yelled Kiba.

"Because, I'm having fun playing around with my tricks and plus I don't have Pigeon-head to use it on." She sincerely said.

"Alright then, here Akamaru!" Kiba fed Akamaru a soldier pill, turning him red and meaner. He also fed himself. Akamaru jumped on top of Kiba. "Here we go Akamaru! **Juujin Bunshin**!" Akamaru transformed into Kiba and both look animalistic and feral. Both of them charged at Naruko with the** Quadruped Technique**. The first Kiba lunged at Naruko. Naruko dodged without chakra while the other lunged at her again. As she dodges she took into the air. Kiba saw this as an opening and used **Gatsuga **along with Akamaru towards Naruko. Naruko managed to avoid getting hit from the first strike by drawing her sword and ride on top of one with it. She didn't expect the second one so she barely got away with scratches. Both Kiba stood a few meters from Naruko. "You had enough Flat-chest?" Kiba said confidently.

"Are you crazy? I got blasted with lightning, got impaled though the ground with a deluge, survived jumping off a waterfall, and numerous other stuff my slave-driving teacher threw at me. She even threw wrenches at me and called it Kunai Dodging! Compared to her your attacks are as worthless as a fly." When she finished that sentence she put up a serious face. "I was gonna play around a bit but because you called me flat-chested…I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS TO THE GROUND YOU DAMN MUTT!"

"How persistent. Let's go Akamaru." With **Gatsuga** both Kibas went after Naruko.

"You honestly think that technique's gonna work on me again?" Naruko dodged again as both Kibas lunged at her. As she dodges she gets hit with the techniques. She however didn't notice a smoke bomb dropping out of her pouch. As soon as it hit floor it bursts into smoke. The most unusual thing about the smoke though is instead of purple smoke its bright red (emphasis on red). And unfortunately all three got a good whiff of it.

"Oh my god! What the hell is this stuff?" coughed and cried Kiba.

"Experimental Chili Powder Smoke Bomb. Cough cough, too much capsicum power." coughed Naruko.

From the stands…

"Speed plus a keen nose. The Quadruped Technique got him there." commented Kakashi.

"With Kiba and Akamaru's sense of smell 1000 times stronger…" commented Kurenai.

"I doubted that she wanted to use that spicy smoke bomb. Then again she's No. 1 in unpredictability and possibly insanity." commented Kakashi.

"Well my sinuses cleared up a bit so now I can attack. Go you two!" From behind

two rocks poofed to reveal Naruko's **Kage Bunshin**. Both Narukos went behind both Kibas and kicked them into the air, followed by kicking them down when they're over the real Naruko. Naruko took the initiative and slammed her hilt and sheath of her blade and threw them into the air, followed by the **Shadow Clones** kicking and slamming them straight into the floor. Both Kibas coughed up blood followed by Akamaru transforming back into a dog. Naruko threw them both off and onto the floor.

"Since Inuzuka Kiba is unable to continue the winner of this match is Uzumaki Naruko!" declared Hayate.

The reaction Naruko got is massive, especially from those who underestimated her. Naruko sighed as she went back to the stands and to where she originally was. Popping open the cap from her sheath she begins putting ointment over her wounds. "Glad these wounds weren't serious or I had to use the heavy-duty stuff." As soon as she finished she got bombarded with numerous questions from the other Genin. Eventually she got annoyed as the next match came on.

**Mojin Sara v. Yurasu Chaka**

Both combatants went to the arena and faced each other.

"A blind girl? Don't make me laugh." scoffed Chaka.

"So, an overconfident man who thinks he can win this easily. You're all alike. For once can I get a decent opponent?" sighed Sara.

"Now the eighth match: Sara of Kumo v. Chaka of Iwa. BEGIN!"

Chaka charged first with his ax ready to be swung.

"There's no point." Sara sighed and casually walks toward him. Just before she gets hit she calmly draws her sword and in a fleeting moment she slices him in half, not partially or hanging by the thread, but cleanly in half. She follows with more slashes that maul him into pieces. And not once has she got blood on her and her sword. "Listen up! I have no qualms about fighting all of you here. But, if you don't make it worth my time then…well you saw what happened to him." Sara declared which cause the other combatants to cringe at the Kumo team. Well sorta…

"Hehehehe…SHE'S STRONG!!" Naruko smiled insanely, fight lust kicking in. She follows with an insane laugh that causes everyone else to look at her as if she's crazy.

"Is there's something wrong with your student Kakashi?" said Kurenai, Asuma, and Gai.

"She has fight lust and unfortunately she got it from…_HER_." Kakashi cringed when he said _HER_. The other Jonin cringed as well. Kurenai remains passive considering that she's friends with Anko.

"Naruko calm down!" said Hinata, trying to hold her down.

"IWANNAFIGHTIWANNAFIGHTIWANNAFIGHT!" yelled, struggled, and laughed Naruko.

"But you already did!"

"FUCK THAT! I WANT TO FIGHT HER NOW!"

"SOMEBODY HELP!"

Just before it can get ugly a Jonin came from behind her and…

"KATSU!" yelled the Jonin as he whacked her with Icha Icha Violence Vol. 3. Naruko is easily subdued. "Jeez, can't a guy take a nap around here."

"Who are you?"

"Name Kain and unfortunately you're too young for me." introduced Kain. He's 22 and approximately Kakashi's height. He normally wears a blue suit with a white shirt and a black choker. Other stuff includes ear piercings, the Kumo headband worn around his left leg, and the aforementioned porn book usually in his pocket.

"Tell me, did you do something strange to my student?" said Kakashi

"No, just a stupid trick I had to endure at the priesthood. Also I really recommend self-discipline for that fight lust of hers. It'll kill her one of these days." Kain immediately sat elsewhere and read his book.

"_What kind of priest reads porn?" _thought Kakashi before reading his book.

"_What kind pf person reads THAT in public?" _sighed Nero.

"Did I go Fight Lust Mode again?" said a dazed Naruko.

"Yep, Hinata tried holding you down while you gone crazy again."

"Ow." Hinata pained.

"Uh sorry about that. Teach's Fight Instinct is contagious. Anyways whose next?" said Naruko. Everyone looked up and saw:

**Hyuuga Hinata v. Hyuuga Neji**

Immediately Hinata went wide-eyed with fear prominently in her eyes. Neji remained…um…whatever he was originally. The adults thought about the interesting match-up and Naruko…

"_I don't like the feel of this match. It's too much for Hinata."_

"**No duh. The heir versus the retainer…or something. I personally want to see how the Hyuuga girl holds her ground against that other guy because from my standpoint she's useless right now."**

"_I hate to agree with you but I won't say it. Hmm, maybe I can train her or something; make her more confident or something."_

"…"

"_No insults about my lack of breasts?"_

"**Not into loli thank you."**

On the field Neji basically just puts down Hinata to the point of tears and Naruko can't take any more of this. Before Hinata can give up…

"Dammit Hinata! Don't listen to what this bastard says! Just beat his ass down!" yelled Naruko.

"_Naruko." _thought Hinata.

"_Ch, how annoying."_ thought Neji.

"If you want to say something, say it loud and boldly! If you want to hit something, hit it until you feel better! If you want to prove to your cousin that he's wrong, then show it by kicking his ass until it's bloody and raw!"

Neji turned around to see that Hinata's eyes have completely changed from fear to flat-out determination.

Jump ahead to about when Neji is about to deliver the finishing blow.

"You're wrong Neji. The only person who's suffering within the destiny of the main and branch house is you." said Hinata. Neji eyes went serious and went in for the finisher. Before he can force a palm strike against Hinata Naruko took a risk and jumped off the catwalk and onto the floor. From there she ran and stood in front of Hinata and took the hit for her, originally going to stop him with her blade. She managed to hold her ground but coughed.

"What the hell is your problem Hyuuga?"

"Stay out of this; this is none of your concern."

"It is my concern when someone tries to kill my friend. Especially since that someone happens to be his own cousin." Hinata at that moment felt a stinging pain in her chest, went to her knees, and coughed hard. Naruko motioned to help her but the blow from Neji caused her stagger and cough up blood. "D-damn it…Just why does…everyone have…to aim for…my chest…" Naruko said before blacking out from the blow.

* * *

**A/N: I had numerous ways to write this but this should do for now. I know I got desperate enough to rewrite Naruto v. Kiba and not use something a little original but my other ideas turned out crap. Anyways next chapter I may use the one month training or go straight to the finals. Until then later cowboys and since its 2-06-08 have a Happy Chinese New Year!**

**Jutsu list:**

**Ishi no Yoroi (Stone Armor) – Form an armor of rock that covers the body**

**Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Imitation Technique)**

**Byakurai (White Lightning) – See chapter 7**

**Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique)**

**Lightning Blast - See chapter 4**

**Raiton: Raikyu no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Lightning Ball Technique) – See chapter 5 **

**Thunder Flare – See chapter 5**

**Lightning Fist – See chapter 5**

**Raiton: Rairyuha (Lightning Release: Lightning Dragon Wave) – Summon a dragon composed of lightning**

**Raiton: Raikoho (Lightning Release: Thunder Roar Cannon) – See chapter 8**

**Raiton: Raimei Akuma (Lightning Release: Thunder Demon) – See chapter 5**

**Shikyaku no Jutsu (Quadruped Technique)**

**Juushin Bushin (Man Beast Clone)**

**Gatsuga (Double Piercing Fang)**

**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)**


	10. The Month Before the Third Exam

**A/N: Throw in usual excuses for lateness. Anyways I rewrote the first chapter for the heck of it. It's not that much different from the previous one but at least there's a distinction I guess. Anyways enjoy!**

**A/A/N: I realize I made some errors with writing the previous chapters so I'm fixing them. Keep in mind though I'm writing D&R (which by the way will take a while due to some inconsistencies as well) as well so it happens. Credits go to Kage Husha for pointing them out. FYI: I'm bad with words so this author's note can be confusing.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto does, HAPPY?

Legend

"…normal…"

"…_thoughts…"_

"…**Kyuubi, Inner Voices talks/Jutsu**…"

"…_**Kyuubi thinks**__…"_

* * *

**Chapter 10: That Month Before the Third Exam**

At the hospital; Second Floor Room 35…

"_Ugh, I feel like crap…" _groaned Naruko.

"**No kidding Kit, you took a Gentle Fist to the chest blocking a hit for that Hyuuga. Mind you, **_**chest**_**." **said Kyuubi.

"_I know, I'll send him to hell for that. Hell I'm going Qiao on his ass!"_

**"Ugh, those Qiaos were scary."**

"Yo Naruko, you awake?" said out loud a voice.

"Hm?" She woke up to see Kakashi in the corner with Icha Icha covering his mouth. "Scarecrow, what are you here?"

"I figured because of your enhanced recovery time you be awake so I came to show you the Third Exam match-ups."

"Before that, what happened after I blacked out?"

Kakashi began to retell everything including Gaara v. Lee.

"I see. _Damn it, what's up with Gaara? It wasn't like this when I replaced his sand with pixy stix. Though I have a feeling he has a closet addiction to them."_

"**He said that he used sand to cripple what's-his-face…Bruce Lee Knockoff right?" **said Kyuubi.

"_Bruce Lee? Uh yeah."_

"**He has the Shukaku in him."**

"_Shukaku?"_

"**The One-Tailed Biju and a total proverbial jackass."**

"_Uh…okay?"_

"**He's a jackass because he never pays for his meals and drinks, even for a tanuki. The other Bijus unanimously hate him as well."**

"_Other Bijus?"_

"**There are nine, including little ol' me. **(_"Bah.") _**Shukaku who I said was a proverbial jackass. Nekomata who's a lesbian. Sanbi who's so stupid that it wouldn't matter if he somehow gets captured or not. Yonbi who's smart but extremely obnoxious about it. Gobi who's also smart but very respectful about it. Rokubi who's a total transvestite. Suzuka who's hot and crazy and one of the few people I respect. And Hachibi, though as strong as me due to having 8 tails of power, is a total queen and so stuck-up that I have no qualms about killing her."**

"_Those are some weird bonds you have."_

"**Call it links, not bonds."**

"Uh Naruko, hello?" said Kakashi.

"Huh? Oh um…so what are the match-ups?"

Kakashi took out a piece of paper and showed:

**Uzumaki Naruko v. Hyuuga Neji**

**Sabaku no Temari v. Mojin Sara**

**Sabaku no Kankuro v. Aburame Shino**

**Shiso Nero v. Uchiha Sasuke**

**Kinuta Dosu v. Sabaku no Gaara**

**Yokujin Mayu v. Nara Shikamaru**

"Whoa, what's up with that? Sis told me that they try to trim it down to avoid it being too boring for the spectators."

"They arranged it in a way that the finals be a three-way match, putting emphasis on the possibilities that depending on how the exam turns out it may end up having either the respective village's elite or the possibility of only one village reaching the finals, making them sound elite."

"Neh?" Naruko tilted her head.

"More fight for you."

"Oh."

--

Anyways Naruko checked out of the hospital, much to the displeasure of the hospital staff who tried to poison her food –Naruko hates hospital food, especially jello, so she fed it to a tree outside. She also 

tried to visit Lee and Hinata but unfortunately they're not open to visitors, not that it matters anyways, so she left.

"_I see the hospital staff is as cold and heartless as ever."_

"**It was a drag though that they didn't give you shots, it would be nice to see your reaction."**

"_I'm not afraid of shots! Why would I be, if I can get stabbed with a blade without fear then there's no reason for me to be afraid of shots."_

"**Damn, wanted entertainment."**

"_I swear to Kami-sama that I'll kill you one day."_

"**Anyways, do you have a plan of action for this month?"**

"_All I know is that I have to go against Fate-boy, Goze _(Sara, look it up on Wikipedia)_, and that three-way fight that can go either way. I can worry about that later because my main focus is trying to survive both Fate-boy and Goze."_ thought Naruko.

"**So you got nothing."**

"_Not nothing, I just need a few days to go over my plan."_

"**Still nothing."**

"_It's not nothing!" _Cutting off herself from her tenant temporarily she began to realize that she needs a bath. _"Damn, I need a bath."_ Naruko then proceeded to her apartment. Although when she entered her apartment she smelt the strong smell of alcohol. "Oh crap, don't tell me…"

Immediately she rushed into her bathroom to see Zabuza brewing ale in her bathtub. She immediately face-faulted.

"Yo brat, if you're wondering why I'm making moonshine it's that I don't have enough booze money from the stupid D-Ranks and I can't really stand that piss you Konohonians call beer." said Zabuza.

"But did you really have to use my bathtub? And isn't this illegal?"

"Was illegal. I mean it's not like the village is lax about legal drinking age but strict on underage drinking." said Zabuza. And in another specific universe a specific Emo, Pinky, Bruce Lee Wannabe, Fate-Happy Hyuuga, Weapon Freak, and Super-Powered-Moron-With-Bisexual-Promiscuous-Dreams-of-Men-Tenant-Who-Believes-In-the-Basics-of-Hedonism sneezed.

"Fine, but if you blow up my bathroom you owe me a new one." Naruko took a change of clothes along with her camping equipment. "If you need me I'll be in the hills outside Training Ground (insert number)."

"If Haku asks tell him that I'm cooking in here. That should keep him out for a year."

"If you're really cooking in there this whole sector of the village will be quarantine."

"Would you stop with the insults?"

"No!"

--

At the bathhouses…

"Hoo, this feels nice." Naruko blissfully said.

"**You sound like you actually enjoy baths."**

"_I do, it just that too often I don't get the chance to. Damn sis."_

"**Well whatever, though she has a nice set of breasts I seen in a while."**

"_Say that and she'd kill you."_

"**Why do I care? She can't reach me and I die happy if I saw them again." **

"Goddamn it, there's no hot girls here and all I see is some flat-chested 12 year old." sighed a familiar perverse voice. As said perverse voice walked away a reinforced sitar crashed through the wall and connected with a skull. Naruko, in more casual clothes (a white shirt and blue shorts) is steaming.

"Do not call me flat-chested!" yelled Naruko.

"What the hell was that for you brat?" yelled an old man that we all know as The King of Perverseness Jiraiya.

"You called me flat you perverted old freak!"

"Do you know who I am you stupid brat? I'm the Toad Mountain Holy Sage Jiraiya!"

"Jiraiya?"

_Flashback…_

"Okay Naruko, this training exercise pits you against the bane of all women. The demon known as Jiraiya the Super Pervert." said Teach showing a picture of Jiraiya in a more-than-negative light.

"Is he that bad?" said a 9 year old and somewhat still naïve Naruko.

"He portrays women as sex toys in that stupid book he writes." exaggerated Teach.

"Is it that bad?"

"He's the worst and he can do the same to you. So whenever you see him give him a swift kick between his legs."

"Why there?"

"You'll see. If you have steel-toed shoes use them. Otherwise kick hard."

_End Flashback…_

Naruko remembered. "Hey Ecchi-baijii (old man who takes Viagra)."

"That's Jiraiya to you brat."

"My teacher said brace yourself."

"Brace yourself? What're…?" Before Jiraiya can finish his sentence Naruko delivered a super hard kick to his crotch, and considering Naruko's leg training her kick literally made a cracking sound that all males within a 3 mile radius flinched and a super loud scream that made said males faint. The next moment Jiraiya can feel relief he sees Naruko trying out water-walking (with humorously disastrous results). When Jiraiya (stagger) walked over Naruko just barely stood on top of hot water to only lose balance and fall face first in hot water and dived in.

"YEOW!" Naruko jumped out of the water and landed on cement. "Dammit sis, does it really have to be hot water!"

Under normal circumstances Jiraiya would yell at Naruko for her bone chilling nut cracking kick but he can't help but get a crack at Naruko's terrible chakra control. "Gyahahaha! You call that water walking?!"

"Hey shut up Ecchi-baijii!"

"Watch what you say, the ladies may think I'm some sort of ordinary perv."

"No, you're a dirty old perv!"

"I'm not a dirty old perv. I'M A SUPER PERV BABY!"

"I-I give up." Naruko said hopelessly. "I can tell you know stuff so can you help with my water-walking?"

"What's in it for me? I don't do things without gaining something in return and that kick ain't gonna help."

"_Damn, I have nothing for a perv like him so I got no choice._ **Oiroke no Jutsu!**" Naruko used the ever too familiar **Sexy Technique **to sway Jiraiya to teach her. Needless to say…

"NICE ONE KID! TEN POINTS!" Jiraiya cheered. Naruko sighed while dispelling the jutsu.

"Teach me now!"

"On one condition…"

"If you say I got to stay in the **Oiroke** then I'm shoving a **Raikoho **up your ass." Naruko threatened as she charged lightning chakra into her palms.

Jiraiya shrugged it off. "Fine, just go practice."

Naruko focused her chakra and shown the seal to Kyuubi. (Her shirt shows a bit of belly.)

"_Hm, so this is the seal that holds back the Kyuubi. Two elephant seals used with the Hakke method. It's set up so that the Kyuubi's chakra flows between the seals into her. Minato, even after death you still try to protect the kid. But there's an additional five element seal over it. With this her chakra and the Kyuubi's chakra can't mix well. That explains why her control is terrible .From the looks of it someone _

_else stuck the seal on her and from how this style is rough there's no doubt in my mind that Orochimaru's has something to do with it." _thought Jiraiya as he charged up some seals on his hand.

"What are you staring at?" glared Naruko.

"Nothing, hold up your arms."

"Why?"

"I'm gonna relax some pressure points to increase your chakra control."

"**Liar, but go with it."** Naruko raised her arms.

"Good, now yell out banzai!"

"Uh…banzai."

Jiraiya then slammed his fingers into Naruko's gut. "**Five Element Release**!" He sends her flying back into the hot spring where she made a splash. A few seconds later…

"HOT!!" Naruko leaped from the water and landed back, not knowing that she is sitting on top of it. She immediately rushed over to Jiraiya. "That hurt Ero-baiji!"

"Look down."

Naruko looked down and saw that she's standing on top. She stumbles for a bit before she realizes that she can do it perfectly. "ALRIGHT!"

"_I think it's time for her to control the Kyuubi chakra."_

"**BYAKURAI**!" Naruko shot several celebratory lightning bolts into the air.

"_She's a lightning user huh? This should be interesting. _Yo kid, wanna learn a new technique? "

"I'm listening."

"First off, what's your opinion on toads?"

"Ate on, got food poisoning for two days as well as feeling…psychedelic. I prefer frogs, makes good sukiyaki."

"Why did you eat a toad?"

"I was hungry! Tenji cut off my meals for a few days because I fell asleep."

"Wait a minute…Tenji?! Tenji as THAT TENJI!!"

"_Crap, I mentioned her name. _I assuming you know my teacher."

Jiraiya immediately stepped back from her. "Forget it; nothing good comes to me when that…woman is involved." Jiraiya said before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Hey wait…dammit, I wanted to know what that technique was."

"**Summoning."**

"_What?"_

"**If he was referring to toads then it's summoning. They're okay if you're trying to get a psychedelic high but…"**

"_Don't worry, I already got a summon but I don't plan on using her unless she's really needed. She hates useless fights."_

"**I know, I was there."**

**--**

The next day…at the library…

"_Hm, this stupid book is useless. All it says is that the Hyuugas have some technique. Screw this; I might as well work on my stupid slow-as-hell-sword swing."_

"**Kit, look to your right."**

"_Hm?"_ She took a look and saw a scroll based on Bunshin Jutsu, particularly a section on **Kage Bunshin** and its uses. _"__**Kage Bunshin**__ and its Uses. Besides yadda yadda yadda chakra dum dee dum dum exhaustion humina humina here we go. The very nature of __**Kage Bunshin **__allows the original person to remember what the clone has learned; making it useful for spy missions and training. Keep in mind though that it causes mental exhaustion so use it sparingly--Chosokabe, Self-proclaimed Genius Ninjutsu expert. SWEET!"_

"**So what's your plan?"**

"_I'll use two clones. One will go and read up on Raiton and Futon jutsu. God knows I need the latter."_

"**That's for sure."**

"_I'll practice on my swing and maybe work on a new style. Give Goze something to think about."_

"**You only saw her in action once and you already crazy about fighting her."**

"_The other me goes around asking people for training tips while go to Akbar's for scrolls."_

"**Akbar again? The guy's a crooked seller."**

"_Yeah but he has good stuff at low prices. Though I have to go disguised because every time Akbar sells me something he gives me the original and the original is always the good one. Also I want goat meat."_

"**Again with the goat meat."**

We'll check back with Naruko later, a week later…

"Sweet, my new bow came and it's just as I ordered." Mayu cheered as she holds up her new bow, a bladed bow meant for both close and long range attacks. "Though I still wonder what Kain said earlier."

Flashback…

"Listen Mayu, if you see either Nero or Sara training stay out of it." said Kain under a copy of Icha Icha Violence.

"Why?"

"No good comes from Old Faction Training. That and that Tenshi girl. _She's wicked frightening._"

"_Tenshi girl?_ Is it really that bad, our training isn't a cakewalk either."

"Keep in mind on one thing. We focus on developing ninja skills as a whole."

"But mine's not whole, I focused on sniper skills. Hell they call me Nasu no Yoichi incarnate."

"Don't get overconfident. Among the Old Faction Genin they're the most dangerous of them all."

"Speaking of the Old Faction, how come you didn't join them?"

"More work, less Icha Icha."

"I'm not complaining."

End Flashback…

"Well I guess I stay out of those two ways." Along the way she passed a certain store selling a certain something. Immediately she ogled the glass window. "Omigod omigod omigod! I can't believe it's out already!" Mayu excitedly entered a store called…

--Intermission--

Mayu: Don't write that!

Azrael: Screw you! It's part of your character!

Mayu: Change it! It's embarrassing!

Azrael: No, change it and I turn you into a generic fighter.

Mayu: I rather be generic that embarrassing.

Azrael: How is it embarrassing? You read it openly!

Mayu: If you're not gonna change it then I'll change it!

Azrael: The hell you are!

Both parties proceed to fight over the laptop (which is safely safe for the overly broke and lazy author) to only trip on something and fall out of the window and become new (or favorite) sacrifices to the "Gods".

Sara: …ow…

--End Intermission--

As for Sara and Nero's training Sara's consists of quick drawing and quick dodging under a makeshift rainfall while Nero is enhancement of his shadow abilities. Anyways…on the outskirts of the village…

"_Let's see, lightning can be redirected throughout the body…yeah yeah…here we go. By concentrating lightning into their arm…it's just telling me how to do the __**Chidori**__…of course this just telling you how to do the __**Chidori **__but if you can find a way to shoot it you have an effective technique. Like for say shooting a long-range __**Chidori**__…jeez, does Akbar have an answer for everything?"_

"**Apparently yes."**

"_Well, I ain't complaining. Hm…another technique is Tsunade's own __**Ranshinsho**__ that concentrates a small amount of electricity into their hands and aims for the nervous system. The electrical signals run through the nervous system, disrupting the flow of information like for say moving your leg when trying to move the arm…interesting."_

"**New technique?"**

"_Not one for attacking head-on but highly useful on that damn Hyuuga bastard." _

"Naruko, you there?" said Tenten outside her tent.

"Tenshi? How did you find me?"

"Your guardian told me. Though for some reason your apartment smells like moonshine."

"Okay, Boozie hasn't blown up yet. What are you …oh no, you're not spying for Fate Boy are you?"

"No, I wouldn't do that. I wanted to ask something."

"Shoot."

"Do you know a person named Tenshi Tenjin?"

"Tenshi Tenjin?"

"You know her as Tenji."

"The only Tenji I know is that slave-driving, food-depriving, binge alcoholic I call Sis."

"That's her."

"Figures."

"Tell me, how is my older sister doing?"

"Older sister? You're that sweet, Tsunade-obsessed (_whoever she is_) weapon freak she told me about?"

"_Am I that obsessed with Tsunade. No, it's just normal admiration._ That sound like her alright."

"Last time I saw her she drove me off her mountain with a lightning storm she tried to pass off as a stupid test."

"She did that?"

"She's that kind of person. I bet she told you that I'm a no-good stupid apprentice right?"

"No, all she apparently told me of you is that you're a lazy, no-good, idiotic, ramen-obsessed, flat-chested baka deshi." Tenten said while Naruko growled.

"Dammit Sis, I swear I'll get at her."

"That was the reaction I thought I get."

"Seriously, I will kill her one day no matter how much I admire her."

"Glad I didn't train with her. But I always wondered why you never came with her during her visits."

"Easy, she leaves me at her house on a mountain for a week I take the chance to finally eat. Besides if she takes me back here she wouldn't let me eat Ichiraku Ramen. It's too bad that the nearby ramen shops pales in comparison to Ichiraku." Naruko held her head down in gloom.

"_What is it with you and ramen?"_

"Seriously, nothing good comes when I travel with her. Last time she shoved a bottle of sake down my throat. Last thing I remember is being in a crater with my left sleeve missing. And there's her pharmaceutical experiments she performs on me."

"Pharmaceutical experiments."

"Tenji's main source of income is selling her pharmaceutical research to companies, half-finished."

"Why half-finished?"

"Said something about 'not letting them have my complete formulas. Let them figure it out for themselves.' She even used me for her experiments. Besides growing arms one of her formulas gave me cavity pain magnetized ten times. And there's the time I was in an induced coma as a cure for gum disease."

"Neesan, you are too much."

"That's a given."

"Naruko-neechan, are you gonna train me today?" yelled Akari outside her tent.

"Akari, I'm training for the Third Exam."

"Please?"

"Fine."

Outside…

"Alright, we'll stop for today. Besides I'm hungry." said Naruko.

"We can't have barbecue anytime soon and I refuse to eat any more ramen." said Akari.

"Why not?"

"Eating ramen everyday is not good for you. There's no nutritional value in it." commented Tenten.

"Yes there is! There's meat which has protein, vegetables for vitamins and minerals, and ramen for carbs!"

"Either way I'm not eating ramen. I want something sweet!"

"I told you I hate sweets Akari!"

"Please?" Akari said while pulling off the **Puppy Eyes Look.**

"Nice try Akari, that won't work on me this time. "

"Okay, then how about this." Akari this time pulled off not just an innocent look but one that can melt a heart as icy as Itachi.

"Oh crap, she's pulling the **Belldandy Look**. I cannot resist. ALRIGHT I'LL COMPLY!" Naruko yelled while feeling warm all over.

"**Ah the Belldandy Look. That thing will maybe sway even me. Maybe."**

"Naruko, you have some dangerous techniques." said Tenten.

"Blame Sis, she taught me manipulation. Fine, we'll eat sweets but you two keep it a secret."

"Why?"

"Hang on." Naruko dispelled the **Shadow Clone** catching both of them off-guard. The real Naruko appeared behind them covered in sweat and blade over her shoulder.

"Seriously, I shouldn't have taught you that." sighed Naruko.

--

At Konoha's Sweet Shop…

"Welcome…ah Naruko-san. Long time no see." said the waitress referred to as Himiko.

"Yeah hi Himiko-neesan. I take my usual order."

"Coming right up! And what will you two have?"

"I take some dango." said Tenten.

"I like some anmitsu."

A moment later and a conversation…

"Here you go: anmitsu, dango, and 20 mame daifuku. Enjoy!"

"Is this the so-called secret you have?"

"No, that is." Naruko pointed to a plaque on the wall with her picture showing her stuffing her face with mame daifuku. Below the picture: _Uzumaki Naruko: First Place Winner of Konoha's Sweet Shop's Fifteenth Annual Stuff Your Face Till You Drop Contest._ Among the winners are Anko at the thirteenth (dango contest obviously) and Kushina of the first contest (daifuku too but in a far less capacity) with her picture in a not-so-flattering manner. Naruko does not know who Kushina is yet so she thinks she's just a regular contestant.

"Not a flattering picture is it."

"Duh. I was six and starving. Ichiraku wasn't open and the contest was all you can eat for free if you win."

"But you're always starving."

"This is well before…some crap."

"Crap?"

"Yeah crap."

"**You're a liar you know that?"**

"_And why?"_

"**That's not your secret. And it's not something so obvious that a reader can figure out like (snaps fingers) that."**

"What the hell are you talking about? What readers?"

"**Never mind. **_**Not like I was breaking some fourth wall somebody breaks on a regular basis, which by the way must cost a bundle."**_

* * *

**A/N: Better end it here, not much else to write. Next are the Third Exams and later cowboys.**

**Jutsu List:**

**Juken (Gentle Fist)**

**Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique)**

**Raiton: Raikoho (Lightning Release: Thunder Roar Cannon) - See Chapter 8**

**Gogyo Kaiin (Five Elements Release)**

**Byakurai (White Lightning) – See Chapter 7**

**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)**

**Chidori (One Thousand Birds)**

**Ranshinsho (Important Body Points Disturbance)**

**Puppy Eyes no Jutsu – See Chapter 8 **

**Belldandy Look – Yeah, 400 percent impossible to resist. For those not familiar to **_**Oh My Goddess!**_**, basically Naruko looks at you in a way that a single gaze from her will melt the coldest of hearts, and no one can resist. Its proof that even in a world of cruelty and unpleasantness innocence and purity exists, assuming the qualities exist in Naruko. Akari version is more effective for her due to her cuteness.  
**


	11. The Third Exams

Azrael: (listening to Memories of You (Play Persona 3) with ATM-E7GM)

Naruko: What the hell you're doing?

Azrael: Original story.

Naruko: You're working on something like that and not mine?

Azrael: I got the next chapter so don't worry.

Jin: Let him do his thing.

Naruko: Who the hell are you?

Azrael: Do the thing.

Naruko: Fine.

A/N: Yeah I'm working on something original…blame Geass and 00 for inspiration. Anyways read on!

A/A/N: To SweetSnow01: Yeah look forward to Naruko and Itachi's first meeting. It will be…very Naruko-like.

A/A/N: About D&R, it's being very very slow. But I will finish it. Even if I die and have to possess someone to finish it!

Update 8/28/08: Fixed a few things and a plot hole.

Naruko: Done, where's sacrifice.

Azrael: Done already. Karin sure likes it for some reason

Outside is the sound of Karin…doing her thing.

--

Disclaimer: Own jack. Wouldn't mind having Jack Frost though.

"…normal…"

"…_thoughts…"_

"…**Kyuubi, Inner Voices talks/Jutsu**…"

"…**_Kyuubi thinks_**_…"_

* * *

**Chapter 11: Third Exam Finals: Naruko is Well…Nowhere**

The day of the Third Exam. Here the Chunin hopefuls prove to themselves in front of judges, rulers, spectators, and betting parlors that they have the right to be promoted. Most of the combatants are in the arena but if you paid attention to the other story you know whose missing.

"Hey, where's Sasuke-kun?" asked Ino.

"Yeah and Naruko's not here either. Of all the people here she's the last person I expect not to show up. Heck she'd be behind us playing her sitar with some quick-rich scheme." said Sakura.

Meanwhile…

"Has anyone seen Akari and Konohamaru?" Iruka asked.

"Naruko-neesan said she needed them." said Moegi.

"She said something about them helping her with a betting parlor or something. Plus both of them wanted to see her fight." said Udon.

Iruka ignored the last sentence because at the moment he built up steam for the super loud: "NARUKO, STOP CORRUPTING THE YOUTH OF THESE CHILDREN FOR YOUR PERSONAL GAIN!!" Followed by exaggerated mushroom cloud.

Back at the stadium…

"I hear Iruka-sensei yell out her name so she probably pissed him off." said Sakura.

"Obviously. I can see the mushroom cloud from here." said Ino.

"Naruko, where are you?" asked Hinata.

On the field…

"Yo, I'm Shiranui Genma and for the Third Exam I'll be your acting proctor."

"What happen to the other guy?"

"Due to…unforeseen circumstances he's unable to continue. Now then due to more unforeseen circumstances there's a slight change in the current lineup." Genma holds up the paper for the current Third Exam lineup. It shows:

**Uzumaki Naruko v. Hyuuga Neji**

**Sabaku no Temari v. Mojin Sara**

**Sabaku no Kankuro v. Aburame Shino**

**Shiso Nero v. Uchiha Sasuke**

**Yokujin Mayu v. Nara Shikamaru**

**Gaara v. Winner of previous fight (in Semi-Finals)**

"So whoever wins my fight has to against him? That's a bit unbalanced don't you think?" said Mayu.

"Don't look at me I didn't rearrange them." shrugged Genma.

Back at the stands…

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN GAMBLING IS ILLEGAL!" yelled Konohamaru in a cheap yet impossibly believable disguise.

"YEAH, I'M GETTING PAID 25 PERCENT FROM JUN-NEECHAN FOR THIS!" yelled Akari in a more plausible but still impossibly believable disguise.

"Due to crime rates, recklessness, and Tsunade Syndrome the council declared gambling as waste to society and therefore banned."

"You're a waste to society!" Konohamaru lamefully countered.

"Er what he means is…JUN-NEECHAN GONNA SKIN US ALIVE IF SHE'S NOT ABLE TO PROFIT FROM THIS!"

"No one is allowed to gamble. That's final."

Both Konohamaru and Akari despondently went to the stands to where Sakura and Ino were.

"Geez, are those ninjas idiots or something?" said Ino with disbelief.

"Geez Naruko, don't you have any shame?" said Sakura.

If she was here, "No, there wasn't anything about shame in Teach's Manipulation Training."

"Err…should I feel…uh what's the word?" said Hinata.

"If you're asking about Naruko and how you should feel then yeah don't expect much from her."

"Don't blame her, I mean Te-Ane-ue is a master manipulator and Naruko said she admired her despite Sis's personality and apparent training regimen." said Tenten who sat behind them.

"You know her teacher?" said Sakura.

"She's my sister that I rarely see nowadays."

"Rarely?"

"Ane-ue's a hermit and extremely well-known. Her name alone tends to instill fear so I never say it out loud. I can tell Naruko told you about her."

"Only that she's irresponsible."

"Yeah…" sighed Tenten.

Anyways on the field Neji is up and ready except Naruko still hasn't appeared. 10 minutes later she still hasn't arrived. The officials would have decided to disqualify her for no-showing if it wasn't for a certain pigeon carrying a certain letter, stalling for time.

One of the officials read the letter out loud and it said:

_Yo idiots,_

_Disqualify my baka deshi will not only piss off the audience for depriving them of good matches but I'll personally come and show you why they call me the S&M Pharmaceutical Witch._

_Signed T--_

Immediately the (male) officials and Sarutobi immediately fled to the corner in direct fear.

"That Kyuubi-gaki is _HER_ student?!"

"Pff. Men."

"Shut up, she can (insert exaggerated claims by _HER_)."

Follow up are arguments from both genders. Sarutobi sighed and stopped them from going blitzkrieg on each other.

"ENOUGH! We'll postpone the match until the end of the Quarter-Finals. If Naruko's not here by then we'll have to disqualify her." Sarutobi announced.

So postponing Naruko v. Neji they went straight ahead to Temari v. Sara. Temari floats down with her oversized fan while Sara slid down the walls despite her blindness. Both approached each other, Temari focused while Sara calm.

"Hm, you have the capabilities to become a strategist but other than that it's nothing compared to me." said Sara.

"You think so huh? Well let's see if you can still say that after I beat you." said Temari.

"Alright ladies the Proxy First Match of the Third Exam. I want a good clean match and LET'S GET IT ON!"

Temari starts off with **Kamaitachi** and swings it towards Sara. Sara remained calm and heard the shifts in the wind. Immediately she dodged just before it can hit her. Temari then controls the path of the whirlwind to redirect it backwards towards Sara. Sara, instead of dodging, jumped on top the whirlwind and jumped towards Temari. In a swift move she pointed her blade towards Temari's neck.

"You use that fan as a medium to unleash wind-based techniques for both offense and defense. Not only that but it's also a potent strike weapon. The thing is against me I can sense when you swing the fan as well as the trajectory of the wind strike."

"But how?"

"When one loses a sense their other senses becomes keen. In the Old Faction a person's worth is measured by their skill. I honed my skills and showed my worth to them. Now then since you're a female I may let you go if you give up. However if you made it my worth and fight like you mean it I will find it enjoyable enough to slice your head off for a trophy."

Temari weighed and analyzed her options. Obviously, "There's no point in my life if I choose the option to continue. As a person once said, _Live to fight another day_. Yo proctor I concede."

"Smart move Suna girl."

"Because Sabaku no Temari has decided to forfeit the winner of the match is Mojin Sara!" Genma declared.

The spectators were a little peeved on how short the match turned out so there wasn't even cheering. While Temari and Sara head upwards Kankuro was having a dilemma.

"_Damn it, it's too early for me to unleash Karasu's hidden abilities before the operation ._Proctor I forfeit!" Kankuro yelled out.

"What?!" were on everyone's minds. It quickly faded when they realized that Sasuke's match was next.

"Finally." Nero jumped down from the stands. However Sasuke is nowhere to be found. "Oh yay, another delay (sarcasm)."

And as before the spectators became extremely restless after each passing minutes. Just as they were going into unnecessary angry mob mode Sarutobi once again delayed the match until his appearance and went straight forward to Shikamaru's.

While Nero's a bit peeved about the delays Mayu was more than eager to fight and so with a rope attached to the rails she shot an arrow and slid down the ropes. Shikamaru on the other hand…

"_There's no way I want to be in this match. It's just…too much work. Well if that guy can forfeit so can I. _Proctor I…" Before he can say forfeit Mayu shot another arrow with rope attached at his shirt and pulled him down hard. Immediately a crunch can be heard.

"There is no way in hell are you getting out of this Nara. You either fight or I'm feeding you to an angry mob."

"Troublesome woman."

"What was that?" Pissed Mayu shot 5 arrows at Shikamaru. The arrow themselves though have explosive tag attached. Immediately they exploded.

"Jeez, can't I officially start the match?" groaned Genma.

"Letting emotions get the better of you will cloud your judgment and cause you to make stupid mistakes woman." Shikamaru said, unscathed and on top of kunai. "I hate fighting and I absolutely despise any form of work. However a man shouldn't lose to a woman so I have no choice to fight."

"Got you pumped up." Mayu smiled and backed off and shot arrows. Shikamaru dodges and hid in the trees. "A hider huh? No matter, I will find you as soon as you make a move."

"_The clouds look so free today. Lucky them."_ Shikamaru sighed. "Might as well try this." Shikamaru used **Kagemane ** to try and capture Mayu's shadow. Immediately she jumped backwards until the tech thinned out. She immediately made a mark.

"Found ya!" She shot more arrows at him. He dodges and appears to be in a corner. "No matter what you do any slight change in your movement and I can snipe you down like that."

Shikamaru on the other hand appears to be concentrating in his usual pose. As everyone ponders what he's doing…

"_His technique's limit depends on the amount of shadows casted in the area. Unlike mine his need light and the angle of the light shining. More surface area means more area to cover. If he thinks he can wait it out for the sun to change angles he's got another thing coming. Mayu will strike him down before that."_ thought Nero.

"_Strike him down before he can get more shadow. But before that I need higher ground." _Mayu ran backwards and took a high spot on the wall. Shikamaru finished concentrating and went for his plan. He immediately charged straight on.

"Idiot! I can see where you going!" Mayu shot more arrows at Shikamaru. He dodges left and right as he closed in. When he got close he threw kunais at Mayu though oddly enough he misses. Immediately he backed off and back in the shadows.

"Got ya." Shikamaru smiled.

"What do you mean?"

"You're out of arrows."

Mayu then noticed that as he said she ran out of arrows. "Crap."

"You impulsively shoot arrows like nothing and forgot to realize you're running low. If you're a sniper then not only should you shoot with impulse but also to find a good spot to snipe from."

"You're right about one thing. I am out of arrows. However how the hell can I snipe when I'm barred from leaving the arena?"

"Exactly. And with that check." Shikamaru declared. However a blue arrow can rush forward at him, surprising him. He dodges but got caught in the blast when it connected with solid earth.

"Even if I'm out of arrows as long as I have chakra I can shoot as many arrows as I can." She shoots chakra arrows at his surroundings, cutting off his means of hiding and stalling for time.

"**Kagemane no Jutsu**." Shikamaru shot forward his shadow technique. Mayu smiled, thinking that she has it in the bag.

"Mayu, stop thinking about victory and look at the ground!"

"Wha?" She looks and failed to realize about the arrows in the ground and the shadows they're projecting. _"Damn it, I forgot about the arrows. That guy made me forget about them." _Mayu immediately runs along the wall to avoid the increase in shadows but she saw them splitting apart. She made every effort to avoid them all and manages a spot in the far corner where they can't reach. "I avoided them but unless I'll end this…no I can still win if I use that." Mayu focused chakra but immediately her body stiffed up.

"Checkmate." Shikamaru emerged from the wall and casted his shadow onto hers.

"Ho-how?"

"I borrowed a tactic Naruko loves to use. The Art of Deception."

"Deception?"

"All warfare is based on deception. Used properly and battles can be won." Shikamaru begain to describe his strategy and Mayu in detail. Building dramatic tension Shikamaru raised his arm. The spectators are at the edge of their seats and Chouji wolfing down chips like nothing. In one swift move, "I forfeit."

The tension broke and dispersed as everyone was stunned by this except Chouji.

"Told ya he give up." He popped his bag.

"What?"

"I only have enough chakra to hold you down for 20 seconds. I have numerous strategies and this is the only one plausible enough to work. I know the difference between an unwinnable battle and a losing victory. Besides one fight is enough for me, even though it's an interesting one."

"_A weirdo but a smart one._ The winner of this match: Yokujin Mayu."

No cheers can be heard nor jeers from the crowd either. Shikamaru simply sighed. The council analyzed Shikamaru and unanimously declared that Shikamaru has the capabilities to become a Chunin.

Mayu on the other hand, "Damn, I really got too carried away. Some sniper I am."

As both of them left the field leaves swirled in the arena furiously. When they died down Kakashi and Sasuke made their appearance.

"Yo, are we late?"

"Yeah Kakashi, but somehow earlier than usual."

"A new record then."

"I take it Uchiha Sasuke is here."

"That's right."

Anyways in the stands…

"Yosh, The Green Beast of Konoha has arrived!" yelled Lee.

"Lee can you tone it down I'm losing hearing in the left ear."

"Yosh, Konoha's Prideful Green Beast Has arrived!" yelled Gai.

"You may want to tone it done Gai." said Kakashi.

"Kakashi, you finally appeared." said Gai.

"Kakashi." glared Sakura.

"Oh sorry I…um where's Naruko?"

"The brat was still sleeping when I got out." said Zabuza as he approached them.

"You serious? This is the most important match yet and she sleeps in?"

"Sounds like her alright."

"I hope Naruko-chan's alright."

"Naruko-neechan was watching a movie marathon to calm her nerves. So other than that she's fine." said Akari.

"So you're the Demon of the Hidden Mist." said Gai.

"And you're…uh…" Zabuza took a look at Gai and immediately said nothing. _"Christ, whose mother bore him?"_

"You're stunned because of my flaming youth, am I right?" Gai flared up as usual.

"_Dammit Zabuza, any more 'mishap' and more probation. More probation means less good booze."_ thought Zabuza.

"**WHATEVER YOU DO NOT GET MORE PROBATION!!" **yelled Inner Zabuza.

"Where's Haku?"

"On a mission. Too bad, he would kill to see this."

"Yeah, that why I declined." said Haku as he appeared out of nowhere.

"That a first kid, you never deny a mission."

"For this, I cannot refuse. I want to see Naruko fight. Oh and BUY A NEW BATHTUB!" said and yelled Haku.

"I will." Zabuza then took a long draught from his own moonshine.

"The whole apartment smells of cheap ale now." sighed Haku.

Anyways…

"Finally." Nero jumped down as before. "So you're the so-called last Uchiha."

"And you must be a nobody."

"Smart mouth. Unlike Mayu I won't lose my cool."

"If you guys won't mind save the chatter for after the match." Both combatants faced each other. "Now then, the match between Uchiha Sasuke and Shiso Nero. Keep it clean both of you and LET'S GET IT ON!"

Nero immediately jumped in the shadows and performed his version of the **Kagemane**. Sasuke jumps backwards to avoid the attack. Unlike Shikamaru though his has more reach. Anyways once he got far enough Sasuke performed hand seals and shot a** Goukakyu** at Nero. Nero dodges and attempts more shadow binding but Sasuke performs a sweeping variation of the **Goukakyu **to drag Nero out of the shadows. Once he's out of the shadows Sasuke rushes in and delivers a punch but since he didn't see Nero's match his punch goes through him.

"Physical attacks won't work on me. **Kuroton: Kagegosunkugi**." From Nero's shadow he shot up spikes that attempted to pierce Sasuke. Sasuke pulls back and tries something new.

"**Lightning Blast**." Sasuke took something of Naruko's and shot a blast of lightning at Nero. Nero retaliates with **Kuroton: Kageheki** to split himself in two to avoid the lightning blast. He merged back to one immediately.

"Immune to physical attacks and able to avoid ninjutsu like that. Interesting but," Sasuke throws two kunais on each of Nero and performs** Lightning Blast **again.

"That won't work!" Nero confidently said. Sasuke smirked as his lightning split in two and charged the kunais. The kunais then shot lightning at Nero, binding him. "What the hell is this?"

"Something to hold you down long enough for me to do this." Sasuke jumped backwards to the wall and began to concentrate.

"What's he doing?" asked Sakura.

"Watch and learn." said Kakashi.

Sasuke concentrates his chakra into his arms as he keeps his focus on Nero. Immediately the sounds of chirping birds filled the air and as soon as he ready he charged forward. Sasuke connects with the Chidori as he got into range. The binds weakened allowing Nero to move a bit while the **Chidori** pierces Nero's left shoulder. Nero though stood his ground.

"That really hurt you know. It's been a while since I felt that kind of pain. Last time I felt that was when those doors close and training began." smiled Nero.

"I got enough chakra to perform another **Chidori** so unless you want a swift death give up." smirked Sasuke.

"I never thought I get to use this early on but I got no choice if I want to win." Smiling Nero took off his sunglasses. He opened his eyes and revealed his eye ability. "Ever heard of the **Sakasagan**?" The color of Nero's eyes is inverted; his pupils are white and the outside pitch black.

"What is that?"

"I don't take these glasses off since it freaks people out. I prefer them on since it limits their abilities. And to answer your question." Nero performed one unique hand seal and began to merge with the ground. As soon as he completely gone except for his shadow "he" charged in. Sasuke tries dodging but even with Sharingan Nero's too fast and immediately merged with Sasuke's shadow. He immediately rises from his shadow as himself darkened but no one except Sasuke sees him.

"I'm not allowed to kill in this match, orders and all. But it does not mean I can force you to lose this match. **Kuroton: Kageankyo**." Nero forcibly drains chakra from Sasuke's shadow at a quick rate. When finished Sasuke was on his knees drained of energy while Nero stepped out and put his glasses on, full of energy and his wounds healed. "Nice."

"D-damn you."

"Better concede kid. Like the Nara said, know the difference between an unwinnable battle and a losing victory."

"Ch-do whatever you want." Sasuke said.

"In that case, the winner of the match: Shiso Nero." Genma declared.

Before some sort of backlash can occur a loud yelling was heard.

"SORRY I'M LATE!"A blue and blonde blur came zooming through the stadium and into the audience. Said blur jumped from the railings and landed on Nero. A crash can be heard.

"Goddamn it that hurt." said Nero, who momentarily shut off his eyes.

"Damn I missed." said that blur.

"And you are?"

"Uzumaki Naruko proctor. I overslept so that's the reason why I was late." Naruko honestly said.

--

A/N: And here you go. Next up is Naruko's fights. Expect her to go Qiao on Neji and find an awaome fight against Sara. Until then later cowboys…

**Jutsu list:**

**Kamaitachi no Jutsu (Cutting Whirlwind Technique)**

**Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Imitation Technique)**

**Goukakyu no Jutsu (Great Fireball Technique)**

**Kuroton: Kagegosunkugi (Black Technique: Shadow Spikes) – Nero uses his shadow to shoot spikes that impales the enemy**

**Lightning Blast – Shoot a blast of lightning**

**Kuroton: Kageheki (Black Technique: Shadow Split) – Nero splits himself in two to avoid attacks**

**Chidori (One Thousand Birds)**

**Sakasagan (Inverted Eye) - The colors of Nero's eyes invert. Anyways Sakasagan allows Nero to merge with his shadow and run along the ground without harm. In this state he able to merge with the opponent's shadow. The eyes are the reason why he can nullify physical attacks and his pale complexion.**

**Kuroton: Kageankyo (Black Technique: Shadow Drain) – Once merged with the shadow Nero can drain their chakra and use it for himself. Though a technique like this obviously has limitations.**


	12. Unfortunate AN

A/N: Unfortunately my damn buddy/laptop being a damn jerk and through unforseen circumstances unfortunately I lost my work (and my other stuff...Gundam 00...) that includes rewritten chapters and the next chapter (Naruko's 13 and D&R's 17). So until I start everything back to square one and have the gall to back up my work no new updates for a real long time...even for my irregular schedule. Sorry for the inconvenience...


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